Intelligent Design Update: Dover Update

New York Magazine has a piece written by Kurt Anderson this week entitled "Why Intelligent Design Must be Stopped. You can read it here.

Because I was born and raised in York County, I have a special interest in this political topic. What I am about to say will sound mean and snobby and perhaps vengeful, but growing up in York County, I was once called a "stupid Jew" by a student who attended Dover Area High School. Although this was scary and hurtful, I questioned the education that these kids were receiving at Dover Area School District and the values of their parents. I attended a school that was known as the "snob school" While not that diverse, my school district encouraged kids to attend college and attempted to keep religion out of the classroom. While I fully agree with everything that Anderson is stating, I would like to add something that most press coverage does not mention. Dover is full of hicks and the fact that these uneducated airbags are getting so much press coverage is upsetting to others in the county. So, I'm a Jew and an Evolutionist and believe it or not, I'm from York, PA.

Rosemary's Baby?

The Squid and the Whale

For those of you who are big Jeff Daniels fans and whose parent's divorce fucked you up in the 80's, run dont' walk to see The Squid and The Whale. So far, this is the best movie I've seen this year.

Wedding Update

I just went to a wedding this past weekend in Nowhere, Ohio. Again, I was not invited with a date but I shared expenses with a friend which made attendance somewhat feasible. In any case, I created a new strategy of attending weddings alone that make the time more fun and pleasant, especially when you really don't know anyone else there.

Steal someone else's date. I tried this tactic and it definitely added more fun to the event. I treated my pretend date as I would any other man in my command and for some reason this guy totally obliged to my requests. He escorted from my car to the church with an umbrella, he sat with me the table when I didn't want to dance while his real date danced with her friends, he got me drinks at the bar and he even saved the plant I had carry as I almost dropped it in the parking lot. At the airport, he even hugged me goodbye. The best part is that his real date didn't even seem to care. I hope I see him again although his name has already slipped my mind.

A New Leash On Life

A reader complained that I've been spending too much time on this blog posting photos of my cat and sharing lame celebrity gossip. He's right, but I have an excuse. I am making some major life changes and decisions now that will be leading me towards the scary world of adulthood. I can't reveal what these are, but soon you will all find out and I will have much more to discuss than my my cat and Katie Holmes. I know you all love a mystery.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

Most people don't know that I am a devout "Catlic" so I am praying that my person's trip to Ohio this weekend is safe and that nothing scary happens on the New York City transit system!

Gentiles Don't Eat Dessert Podcast

Listen as Rachel serves chopped liver to two Jews who can't stand it and four Gentiles who can't get enough.

Other shocking revelations in tonight's Rosh Hashanah podcast include...

• What celebs will be inscribed in the book of life this year?

• The secret recipe for Temple Chicken.

• Todd can speak Hebrew, but then again, so can Wyndham.

• The strange connection to Macho Man and Xanadu.

• and for the first time anywhere - Olivia Newton John exclusive audio commentary.


Click the picture to hear it or use iTunes' new podcast feature to subscribe to all the podcasts (just search for Beware of the Babylon and subscribe).

Whirlwind of Gossip: Keanu Reeves and Diane Keaton?

I've had such an overflow of celebrity gossip in the past two days that my mind is spinning. I don't know what is true or false or just plain crazy.

1. Katie Holmes is pregnant and Tom Cruise is the father. Are her very strict Catholic parents upset?
2. Nick and Jessica are over. Nick is kind of sexy and he can do better.
3. Keanu Reeves is dating Diane Keaton. I wonder if he's more than just a snack to her or if she's trying to capitalize on Demi's recent wedding.
4. Lindsay Lohan was in another car crash.

If I'm missing anything else, please let me know.

Breaking News: Tom and Katie Expecting?

Oh my god! Katie Holmes is pregnant with the baby of Tom Cruise and this has been confirmed. I'm too shocked to say or write anything else today.

Happy New Year!

My spirituality is very fickle, but I love this time of the Jewish New Year where I can attempt to wash away my sins, whip up some chopped liver and take a day off of work!

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat: Ambien

This week, MJ Cat stars in the short film entitled "Ambien." As you will see he is a method actor.

Click here to see the film!

The Baby Mama Podcast

This week's Beware of the Babylon goes out to all our baby mamas.

Other bold statements include:

• Creationists need to keep it in their pants.

• Shania don't impress us much.

• Jim Croce may be alright after all.

• Pit-stains rock Rachel's world.

Plus, don't miss this week's exciting new feature: SHE'S A LADY!

Click here to hear it or use ITunes' new podcast feature to subscribe to all the podcasts.

The Great Panda Trial

In my new favorite blog yorkblog.com, resident columnist Mike Argento examines the Intelligent Design trial going on in Harrisburg, PA. For those of you not following this debate, Dover School District in York, PA wants to incorporate the textbook "Of Pandas and Men" which refutes Darwin's theories on evolution. Argento discusses the testimony of a science teach who had to quit teaching due to the debate. If Intelligent Design is approved to be taught in public school science classes, Argento asks:

You start questioning your decision to dedicate your life to this school. What’s next? Will the school board ask you to start teaching that gravity is merely a theory and that you have to balance that theory with the belief that gravity is God’s way of saying you’ve had too much tequila? Will the school board start telling history teachers that because some believe the Holocaudidn'tidn’t happen, that they’ll have to balance their instruction thusly? Will the school board demand that English teachers begin teaching kids that the plural of “you” is “youse”?

It's all in the Gravy

Every once in awhile someone gives me a fabulous easy-to-make recipe that I must share with my readers. Here is one for Chicken Marsala. I don't have the measurements, so use your judgement.

Ingredients:
Boneless thin chicken breasts salted
Fresh Pepper
Mushrooms
Marsala Wine
Fresh Parsley
Garlic-flavored Pam
Can of Franco American Beef Gravy

Brown the chicken in the Pam. Set aside. Brown the mushrooms in some more Pam and add some parsley. (I love parsley so I add it to everything.)Pour in a small amount of Marsala wine and stir it in to the mushrooms. Then add enough Franco American gravy until it thickens. (I added 1/2 small can). Serve with noodles or pasta and garnish with fresh parsley. (I also add fresh pepper to everything.)

The Blog Everyone is Talking About!

York, PA has finally launched a blog called Yorkblog.com. From high school football to the denial of Darwin to managing livestock, this blog makes Gawker look like yesterday's news.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

I'm slightly hungover from a catnip binge last night, so I'm taking a break from starring in any films this week. I just hope my behavior doesn't get me fired from any of my spokescat deals!

I Do Not Sniff the Coke: Kate Moss Update

In light of the recent downfall of supermodel Kate Moss, I would like to make the following comments. For those of you living in a cave, Moss was caught sniffing cocaine and had the photos splashed all over the tabloids. As a result she's lost multi-million dollar contracts with H&M and Chanel. I do not do any illegal drugs, but I want to say that I do prefer that my favorite models do for the following reasons:

1. The drug use of models allows me to understand how they stay thin and validates that I will never be that thin since I can't afford cocaine and am afraid of messing around illegal addictive substances.
2. When I shop at a store that's clothing is promoted by Moss or any coked-up model, I feel better when I might have to buy a size larger than I think I am due to the fact that I know that Moss is coked up and therefore, can fit into very small European sizes.
3. Coked up models are the ideal candidates to promote cosmetics as one of my biggest challenges is covering up blotchy skin and dark under-eye circles. Because drug use can contribute to these complexion issues, supermodels are the perfect spokeswomen to promote these types of products.

Green Acres Is Not the Place to Be

I've heard the most startling news over the past 24 hours. A new trend which I will now call "Green Acreing" is arising among thirty-something single women where they leave their fabulos urban lifestyle, move to the country and make hay with the man they love.

-A successful New York woman who has toiled away at JP Morgan for 13 years is leaving her luxurious lifestyle and beautiful apartment to take up with a hay farmer in Oregon. The closest Wal Mart is over an hour away and they have to take an airplane to get groceries.
-I heard the Park Avenue daughter of a successful New York City physician has taken up with a truck driver and she is very happy. I never have met a truck driver in my life or considered dating one.
-A trust-fund pretty girl married a high school science teacher, moved to the midwest and is now divorced.

I dated the son of a dairy farmer in high school and let me tell you, a girl can get badly bitten rolling around in a corn field.

A tit for a tit! Tyra Banks Show Update!

I cannot wait to go home and watch the Tyra Banks Show All About Breasts show tonight!

Tyra puts a decisive end to the rumors about her breasts with an on-air sonogram. Plus, Tyra gives real women bra makeovers, and tells one young woman she’ll finally get the life-changing surgery she needs to boost her self-esteem. And blonde bombshell Anna Nicole Smith and “Desperate Housewives” star Ricardo Chavira, a spokesman for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, stop by to talk about these celebrated womanly assets. And check out the latest in bust-enhancing lingerie with a Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

In honor of Tyra's Tit Day, I will reveal that mine are real and that they are spectacular.

Emmy Post Show

The past couple of days have been very surreal. After a Saturday night filled with liquor and lust, I attended a very long and bad matinee peformance of Fiddler on the Roof starring Rosie O'Donnell and Harvey Fierstein. Fiddler on the Roof has always been one of my least favorite musicals. I also am not a big fan of Schindler's List. In any case, afterwards, Todd and I had this bizarre photo shoot at Sardi's and I ate so much salt I probably look as bloated at Patricia Arquette did last night at in that ill-fitting white dress she wore to the Emmy's. After the photo shoot, I rushed home to watch the Emmy's and as I turned on the channel, thought I was hallucinating that Donald Trump was wearing overalls and singing the Green Acres theme song with Megan Mullally. I had to go to bed early so I only watched a short amount of post-Emmy coverage and I swear that Trump told that Guiliana the Panda woman on E! that he was going home to "make love" to Melania. Then, Patricia Arquette came in for an interview and she seemed either highly medicated or drunk and made a comment about how Hollywood people find TV people inferior. Then Sela Ward came on covered in feathers and was talking in an inflated Southern accent like she just downed a bottle of Wild Turkey. At this point my own Velvet Hammer kicked in and I'm not sure what is real or what I dreamed or if he's ever going to call me again.

The Riding the Bus With My Fiddler Podcast

Podcasting may be in the 14th minute, but we're gonna spend that damn last minute in style:

- a post-theatre photo shoot at Sardi's

- a full recap of Rosie O'Donnell's broadway Mitzvah

- Ipod Nano: A Sex Toy

- A British Invasion

- Basic Instinct - for the blind

It's all just too too exciting. Click the photo to download or listen.

Friday Catblog Starring MJ Cat

This is the final film in the MJ Cat Trilogy. Please enjoy Cat in Babylon and be sure to dontate to the Red Cross or the Salvation Army to support the victims of the Hurricane Katrina.

Watch the movie here.

RenKen Over!

Back in May I reported on what I felt was the Zellweger/Chesney marriage conspiracy. Today the couple announced that they are having their marriage annulled. So, in the time period that I've had one dish waiting to be washed in the sink, Rene Zellweger has lost forty pounds, met her husband, married him for four months and now is having the marriage annulled. Perhaps the stagnancy of my life isn't so bad after all.

Evolution Schmevolution

Last night the Daily Show finally covered the "intelligent design" debate occurring in Dover Area School District. Although I am from York, I did not attend Dover schools or did not associate with anyone who did. Being a Jew, I wasn't really part of the Creationist crowd during my formative years.

The Daily Show segment entitled titled "Evolution Schmevolution," asked "should your child's curriculum really be decided by experts in their respective fields?" Then they visited the Bronx Zoo and Dayton, Tennessee-site of the Scope Monkey Trials. It's too bad they didn't go to York. I promise to do my impression of a York/Dover accent on the next podcast.

I Want You in My House

It's been a long time since I've had a celebrity crush, but I'm totally hot for Hugh Laurie the star of the Fox TV show House. For those who haven't watched the show, the plot centers around an anti-social doctor who solves mysterious diseases with little bedside manner. He is also addicted to pain killers and walks with a limp due to some problem I haven't identified yet. When I was in college, I had this crush on this guy named Bruce King who was always unshaven and walked with a limp. My friends thought it was crazy that I loved Bruce so much. One time, I slept over in his room on his couch and ended up with a terrible case of noisy and smelly gas. When he woke up, he asked me without any sort of hesitation if there was anything he could do to help me with my "stomach situation." Needless to say, I was humiliated and embarrassed to pursue him any further.

Tyra Banks is One Crazy Bitch

As many of my personal friends know, Tyra Banks was unknowingly responsible for the demise of a brief romantic fling I had two years ago. I any case, it doesn't seem that Tyra is going to become the new Oprah. If you haven't seen this site or watched the show, don't miss it.

My Fantasy Football Team

All of my friends are participating in something called "Fantasy Football." There is this very cute guy who sits in the office across from me so I am trying to impress him by assembling my dream football team although I know nothing about Pro Football except players who might have appeared on the Love Boat or in a national commercial. Here's my dream team!

Tony Dorsett
Danny Marino
Mean Joe Green
Dick Butkus
Dave Rimington
William "the Refrigerator" Perry
Jason Seahorn
Joe Namath
Alge Crumpler
Alex Karras
Jim Marshall
Antwaan Randle El
Mike Ditka
Walter Payton
Lynn Swan
Fran Tarketon

The Washington Square Potcast

Rachel and Todd turn 21 on this podcast and you will learn...

- how to imagine no bush

- what every woman is reading

- what irks Todd and Rachel

- why babies should stay clear of Rachel's mom's dog

- beware of the band geek sucking on reeds


If you haven't already done it...
click here to subscribe to the podcast on ITUNES.

Or if you just want to hear it from here...
click here to download the podcast and listen.

Friday Cat Blog: Starring MJ Cat

Please enjoy the second part of the film trilogy starring MJ Cat. This week he stars in the acclaimed very short film Catnip Dreams.

Also, check the sidebar to enter the Beware of the Babylon Film festival with your own very very short "movie."

I Want To Talk To You

One of the things that upsets me the most in this world is when someone leaves a voicemail stating in a serious voice, "I want to talk to you." This kind of cryptic message is never good and it usually means that I don't want to talk to the person who left the message especially when I can't even figure out what they could want to talk to me about that could be confrontational. I just received such a message from a friend who told me to call her back and so, I called her back and she said that she couldn't talk. So, I asked her what she wanted to talk to me about and she sounded like she wanted to have some kind of serious conversation and said, "This is not something I want to say and then hang up." If you read this blog, don't ever do this to me as this is the kind of thing that makes me neurotic and paranoid.

10 Years Younger

Tonight I'm having dinner with my friend Mark Montano, the famous host of 10 Years Younger and a designer on While You Were Out. If you watch these shows, you can experience why I love Mark so much as a friend! If you don't watch, be sure to check him out on TLC. He is the only man that I ever met who ever actually made a sofa!

Goodbye, Little Buddy

I was sad to hear that Bob Denver, star of Gilligan's Island passed away today at the age of 70.

NBC Doesn't Care About Kanye West

If you haven't read or witnessed one of the most exciting, hilarious and surprising moments of television history, the Washington Post has a transcript of the scripted versus unscripted banter between Myers and West which took place during NBC's live hurricane relief concert on Friday night. Despite watching Kanye West ad lib while Mike Myers tried to stay composed and not laugh, I think my favorite part was when the camera ripped away from West and went to a very startled Chris Tucker standing by a refrigerator. Luckily, I taped the concert so I could watch the clip over and over again all weekend. I feel guilty for laughing my ass off during what was supposed to be a serious and bleak television program, but I found myself more entertained than I was for the Jerry Lewis telethon on Labor Day.

Catblog Friday: Starring MJ Cat

This week mark's the the first film of a triology I starred in over the past week. The first in the series, is a short film entitled Birds of Morton Street. The next two segments of the series will debut on this site over te next couple of weeks.

Also, please check out my friend Thor's cat movie site which also features me!

Hurricane Katrina

Today, I'd like to express my thoughts and prayers for those suffering from Hurricane Katrina.

Kate Bush is Alive!

I just received the following email regarding one of my favorite singers. The crazy thing is that I was actually pondering what happened to Kate last week.

KATE BUSH has announced details of her new album.

The singer will release the double-LP ’Aerial’ on November 7.

The record will mark the eccentric performer’s first since 1993’s ’The Red Shoes’.

’Aerial’ will be preceded by the single ’King Of The Mountain’ on October 24.

No live dates have been announced, though Bush has only toured once during her career, in 1979.

The Sounds Like a Frog Podcast

I'm late in posting this, but this week's Beware of the Babylon podcast is here! This week Todd and I discuss

-the life and death of the New York hot spot
-the sound effects of a wooden frog
-and...we go back in time to our most recent karaoke extravaganza!



ANNOUNCING THE BEWARE OF THE BABYLON FILM FESTIVAL!





for example...
CLICK HERE TO SEE RACHEL'S SHORT FILM

CLICK HERE TO SEE TODD'S SHORT FILM

Reader Response Survey Results

Here are the very interesting results to the survey conducted throughout the week. I'd like to thank the readers who responded.

1. Over 56% of respondents were men. I forgot to find out if they are straight or gay.
2. Over 81% of my respondents claim to know me personally. I guess those who don't know me, didn't feel comfortable filling out the survey.
3. Over 56% of respondents like reading about the men in my life unless it is about them. 6.3% don't like reading only like reading about the men in my life when it is about them. 12.5% claim to jerk off after reading this blog. I'm not sure what this all means.
4. 12.5% of respondents claim to have had romantic or physical relations with me while 33.5% are waiting to make their moves, but only 12.5% want to marry me. Hmmmm....Please let me know via comments if you are wanting to make a move or marry me. I need some positive reinforcement.
5. 87.5% of those that answered like cats while 68% listen to the podcast.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

The summer is almost over and I am still waiting for something exciting to fly by my window. It's been so hot that I haven't been able to walk outside on my leash as much as I like to! Have a great weekend and next week, I'll be back answering all your questions. Meow!

National Kiss and Makeup Day!!!!!!!!!!

Today is National Kiss and Make Up Day! There are a few people I would like to kiss and make up with, but since most of my disagreements involve these people getting mad at me for writing about them on the Web, I can't name them by name or they will never want to make up with me. All I can say is that if you are mad at me for writing about you over the past ten years, I am sorry. Let's all kiss and make up!

Orgy at Bistro Du Vent

This is one of the best pieces of gossip I've heard in a long time. The entire image made me picture me, Pepe, Job and Michael all getting it on at the Risotteria back in the day and customers wondering the real reason the rice is so creamy. Gross!

August 25, 2005 -- AN after-hours orgy erupted at celebrity chef Mario Batali's Bistro Du Vent last week, resulting in the firing of four staffers, PAGE SIX has learned.
The randy sex romp between an openly bisexual waitress, a male chef, a female manager and a waiter was captured on the West 42nd Street restaurant's surveillance cameras, which feed to a monitor right next to the host's stand.

We're told that the oversexed staffers were boozing it up at the bar after closing when things got physical.

Our snitch, who saw the steamy surveillance footage, says the X-rated action took place "on the bar top, down to the floor, on top of the banquettes — chef on waitress, manager on waiter, waiter on waitress, all four tangled up in one bunch."

But apparently the night porter caught a glimpse of the freaky festivities, and told the incoming dishwashers and busboys that morning on his way out. They, in turn, tattled to the waiters and waitresses, who all crowded around the host stand monitor and watched the orgy unspool, freeze-framing it at points for maximum enjoyment.

Later that afternoon, Bistro Du Vent general manager Jeremy Noye announced to his staff that four employees had been fired, adding, "That's all I'm going to say, and we're going to move on from here."

When we called Noye for comment yesterday, he told us, "I'm going to let Mario handle this. I'm not in a position to make any official comment at this time."

Don't Forget to Take the Survey: Results will be posted on Friday!

Click here to take our Online Survey

Kiss and Make Up Day

Tomorrow August 25th is the official Kiss and Make Up Day. So, let me know via the comments section if somehow I've wronged you or you perhaps wronged me and want to get together tomorrow to kiss and make up. If I would like to make up with you, I will be sending you an ecard tomorrow making my intentions known. Kiss and Make Up Day is now my new favorite holiday beating out Yom Kippur and Good Friday.

Tuesday Reader Response Survey

As I try to revamp my life, I've created the following survey for my readers. Please click on the link to and fill this out in order to help me make this the best blog it can be!



Click here to take our Online Survey

New Life Experiment: Week One Introduction

Well, I'm officially a year older now. I'm still recovering from the hangover of old age. Thanks to everyone for sending me cards and wishes! I decided that this year I will settle down, get married and move to the suburbs. Each Monday I'll document where I am in this process which begins today. So far, nothing has happened yet today to bring me closer to my goal.

It's Founder's Day: Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

Today is not only my person's birthday, but it is my own Founder's Day! Founder's Day is a special holiday created to celebrate the day a person is united with his or her adopted animal. Because I lived my kittenhood out on the streets, nobody knows my actual birthday. So, rather than the day I was born, I celebrate the day I came to my new home to unite with my person. So, although I'm estimated to be around 4 years old, this is my second Founder's Day! I can't wait for my catnip cake tonight!

The Year In Review

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I fear I'm now an official single old-maid living with her cat. Yet, I had a decent year of emotional growth. Here are some of the highlights:

1. My love life was complicated, upsetting and yet, a lot of fun. I'd especially like to thank Mr. Book, The Snack and Liev Schreiber.
2. During this year, I dyed my hair dark brown and hated it so I went back to blonde. Then I decided to cut it into a very short bob which was also a big mistake and I'm still growing it out. My colorist moved to Ohio and my stylist was too expensive so I had to find an entire new hair team which seems to be working out so far.
3. I had a good year at work and for the first time, I like my job.
4. I perfected my recipe for BEEF BOURGUIGNON.
5. I started the podcast with Todd and we were featured in the Wall Street Journal!

The Ravages of Age Podcast

Todd and Rachel are back from hiatus, downing wings and fine drinks at BAR 89 in Soho.

This week on the podcast, find out:

- dirtier jokes than "The Aristocrats"

- how to automatically be ten years younger

- what are the ravages of age

- how much does Elizabeth Berkley pay for a haircut?

If you haven't already done it...
click here to subscribe to the podcast on ITUNES.

Or if you just want to hear it from here...
click here to download the podcast and listen.

The Hair Salon in the Sky: Goodbye, Pitella!

I was very sad to hear about another death of an old friend of mine from York, PA. I was informed that Fortunata Pitella aka "Pitella" passed away over the weekend. Pitella was my first full-time hair stylist during my teenage years in York, PA. Responsible for keeping my hair on-trend during the fabulous 80's, Pitella's creations included the famous "electrocution" hairdo, the lopsided bob, the long bleached blonde bangs, numerous tight curly perms and the infamous Joan Jett hair crisis. Pitella would cut and color all of his client's hair with their backs to the mirror and I allowed him full artistic license. Being the Jose Eber of York, PA, Pitella was always overbooked so he'd put you under hot lights and dry your hair with the dryer stuck in a drawer while he worked on fifteen other clients. After he finished you off with the curling iron, he'd spin you around to "shake it out" to see his final creation. He once told me that this was just how Jose did it. Pitella always served tiny Cokes in the bottle, which even as a teenager, I thought was very high-class. When I competed in Junior Miss, Pitella bought a ticket to see me and even snuck backstage to ensure that my hair was at its best. As much as I loved Pitella, my sister hated him. Once, as he was working on her, he was simultaneously styling a senior citizen named Doodles and gave them the exact same bouffant. My sister emerged crying from the salon screaming, "Have you ever seen a teenager with a hairdo like this?" Pitella laughed and my sister became the only client to ever be allowed to look in the mirror as he worked on her hair.

Pitella was an old-school Warren Beatty Shampoo era hairdresser who felt that you should always look as you if you just left the salon and his curling irons were always on high. He loved women and he loved to attempt to make them look as close to Sophia Loren as he could manage (he had a photo of her hanging on the wall.) Despite his styling inconsistencies and crazy experiments, I relied on him and spent so much time on my hair I once was grounded for going through too many bottles of Sebastian Spritz Forte in one week.

Before I moved away from York to attend to college, Pitella gave me one last perm so extra curly that it would last for the semester. In my preppy New England college, someone asked me on the first day with disdain, "DO YOU HAVE A PERM? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF TEENYBOPPER?" I never saw Pitella again and found someone else in my college town who wouldn't give me a perm and also allowed me to look in the mirror as she cut my hair. She even styled it holding the dryer in her hands. She never used a curling iron. When I went home for vacations, I always felt guilty when we drove by Pitella's salon and I saw his big silver Mercedes parked outside. I secretly missed him and his crazy hair styles.

Now, having my hair cut, colored or simply washed is the most relaxing thing in the world to me and I'm a salon fanatic. I've never had Jose Eber work on my hair, but I've seen some of the top-hairdressers written about in the glossy magazines Pitella kept in his salon. Pitella taught me at a young age that a good haircut could make any outfit look good and I still believe in this philosophy.

And to this day, I always take off my glasses when I get in the chair so I can't see what's going on. As I witness the final hairdo, I love the final rush I experience as if I'm 16 years old again, back in Pitella's chair, believing for one split second that I just might be beautiful.

Here is Pitella's official obituary:
InYork.com - York's Internet Community

Another Day, Another Dollar

I don't have much to report this week. I'm bored and it's dull and it's hot and I am getting old. I will be back to my normal blog/podcast self next week.

I BROKE A VASE AT VOGUE!

The Daily News reported the following today about Donatella Versace:

LEAN AND HUNGRY: Hard-partying fashionista Donatella Versace has calmed down and cleaned up since her rehab days, but her checkered past still shadows her. Radar magazine digs up this gem from her coked-up times: "In one memorable incident, sources say, she stumbled into a glass table in Vogue editor Anna Wintour's office, sending shards flying.

Believe it or not, the exact incident happened to me. Years ago, I had a job interview at Vogue where I was so nervous that I knocked over a vase of flowers with my purse. Donatella has inspired me to come forward and confess I BROKE A VASE AT VOGUE. My purse knocked the vase off the desk, water spilled, and glass smashed. I left the building, cried and was punished with a job at FamilyPC Magazine. With one simple swoosh, my dreams of working at Vogue were shattered as fast as the ill-placed vase of roses.

The Harder They Come, The Harder They Fall

Well, in a little over a week, my 34th birthday is coming up. I am telling everyone, I'm turning 25, but the fact is I am reaching or am already in my mid-30s. I'm getting older and hopefully wiser. Here are some of the revelations I've had over the past year.

1. Most men are crazy in some way. I always kind of knew this, but this year I am admitting it. My chances of finding true love suddenly seem slim.
2. Weight Watchers really is for the rest of your life. My leader Lauren once said this and she was right. I will be dieting for the rest of my life.
3. Mary Kay Time Wise products are fabulous. I won't make fun of anyone using Mary Kay ever again.
4. Tom Cruise is crazy (see #1). I used to love and defend Tom cruise against allegations regarding his sexuality and his religion. Now, I can't even drag myself to see War of the Worlds.
5. Some babies are cute. I used to be scared of holding babies, but over the weekend, I held my friend Diane's brand new baby and for a second, I kind of wanted to steal him.
6. I will never cut my hair too short or dye it dark brown again. I did both of the past year and regretted both decisions.

The Cat Days of Summer: Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

Well, it's hot outside so I've been holded up in the apartment chilling in the AC. It's hard to look cute in this weather and the humidity doesn't make my fur look it's best.

She never made me any fudge!

While I was away on vacation, I was informed that the very scary Miss Snell, the former York Suburban math teacher passed away at the age of 83 which was suprising to me because I could have sworn that she was at least 100 when I had her as my teacher 18 years ago. Parents would try to get their gifted children in Miss Snell's math class for some odd reason. Miss Snell believed that you should spend at least 3 hours each night studying math. I believed that math should never interfere with one's social life. I was right as my social skills and friends provide me with many more benefits than my calculus education. In any case, I have to admit, I never forgot Miss Snell and her red check marks either.

It all added up for my high school math teacher - York Daily Record

Feel the Tingle!

It is so hot that I've been drowning myself in Jean Nate after-bath splash. Jean Nate is one of the most underrated beauty products on the market. Last year, I was dating someone who used to joke that I smelled like Jean Nate. Due to the mockery in his voice, I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was correct. Before we'd meet for a date, I'd splash myself all over my body. I always wear Jean Nate during the month of August and now I'm confessing it to the world.

It's Hot!

Today at work we had a company picnic where my chocolate ice cream immediately melted on my white t-shirt. This is the most exciting news I've had all week. I'll have more to report tomorrow.

Back in Town

I'm back in town and trying to catch up with my life. It's amazing how much minutiae piles up during my absence. I have to respond to 3,000 emails, open 400 bills and call 4,500 people. I'm going to be lazy with the blog this week and I don't have time to podcast.

The Tyra Banks Show

Tyra Banks is advertising for guests to be on her new talk show. I'd love to be on the show entitled, "Tyra Stole My Man!" A couple of years ago, I was dating someone who was always dissing me for Tyra and frankly, I just couldn't compete.


The Tyra Banks Show - Premieres September 12th

The Calientecast

This week Rachel and Todd sweat out the BEWARE OF THE BABYLON PODCAST and...

* get all Thelma and Louise without driving off a cliff.

* learn how Rachel's week was like Return of the Living Dead

* why Todd has toilet paper on his head

* why podcasts shouldn't talk about podcasts


If you haven't already done it...
click here to subscribe to the podcast on ITUNES.

Or if you just want to hear it from here...
click here to download the podcast and listen.

Gone Fishing

MJ Cat and I will be out of town next week. We're recording a new podcast tonight before I leave so be sure to check out bewareofthebabylon.com to download it and hear me during my much needed vacation!

The Sign of the Mexican

Last night after a long evening including a work dinner and a run-in with an ex boyfriend, I hopped in a cab ready for bed. As I got out of the cab, I couldn't believe it, but Felipe was standing there sweating on the corner. I haven't seen Felipe in about four years since he left town to return to Mexico to open up his own restaurant. Felipe was the cook at a restaurant where I worked in NYC and we developed a bizarre friendship over the course of my employment. Once when I was behind the register, Felipe reached over and grabbed my nipple with a stapler. In any other work environment this would immediately have sent me to HR, but in this situation I was helpless and could only laugh at the situation and the current state of my disappointing life. In any case, I am wondering if Felipe's return to the country is a good omen or bad omen.

Scientology? Fuck that Shit! Transcendental Meditation!

As many know, David Lynch is one of my favorite directors. I once dyed my hair from brunette to platinum blonde after my first screening of the underrated movie Lost Highway. Page 6 posted today that Lynch is setting up schools for transcendental meditation callded the "David Lynch Foundation for Consciousness-Based Education and World Peace." Lynch, however, does not want his foundation to be confused for being a cult or a religion.

Quick to point out that "TM" is not a "religion" of "clones" but a "mental technique to dive within," he'll only say of Scientology and Kabbalah, "I don't know enough about either to comment. People believe in what they believe in, and that's a beautiful thing."

I have actually tried TM, and I must confess it does chill me out. I wish they offered it at Equinox.

Major Crush

I have a crush on someone and it's making me feel like I'm in junior high because I don't think he likes me back at all. And if even if he did like me back, I can't imagine what kind of relationship we could even have together. But, when I see him I feel paralyzed and I don't know what to say. I freeze up inside and if he were ever to touch me, I fear that I'd melt or shatter. I know I should be excited about feeling so young and vulnerable again, but seeing him instead makes me sad and pessimistic.

Put Tarnation at the top of your list!

I just rewatched Tarnation on DVD this weekend and listened to Jonathan Caouette's commentary. If you haven't seen this movie, rent it as once. Caoette is our generation's Stan Brakhage. On a second and third viewing, this film continues to inspire me both creatively and intellectually. If you haven't seen it, I won't go into details about the content or the construction. I wouldn't want to prepare you for this at all.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

It's been a muggy and emotional week. As of COB today, I'm going to curl up with a good friend in bed, destress and get some much needed rest!

Best in Show

Today I had a debate with a man about the phrase "working like a dog." According to him, dogs don't work at all and that the phrase should be changed to "working like a miner." I countered that a lot of dogs do work either helping blind people, rescuing people, sniffing out bombs, herding flocks and other assorted crappy jobs. He then stated (out of his ass I think) that only less than 1% of the dog population actually works. He then went on to say that cats also do not work and I argued that some cats indeed do have jobs, and before I took him as my son, MJ Cat was a professional mouser. I also pointed out that dogs and cats don't get paid so it's hard to track the actual working statistics on these animals since they can't even file for unemployment.

What is the point of this debate? I think I might have met my dream man.

York, PA: A Best Place to Live?

York, PA, my hometown, has been rated the 95th place to live by Money Magazine. No comment, but let's just say, I don't still live in York for some very good reasons.


Ranked above par - York Daily Record

The Remember our Name, Fame, Podcast

THIS WEEK ON BEWARE OF THE BABYLON - FAME!

On this podcast you will learn:

* how everything and everyone has jumped the shark

* how W. Houston street is really Whitney Houston Street

* why I learned nothing about Atrophic Vaginitis

* what will we wear to the Emmys!?!

* when is it too old to be acting weird

If you haven't already done it...
click here to subscribe to the podcast on ITUNES.

Or if you just want to hear it from here...
click here to download the podcast and listen.

There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

Somewhere in the early 90's, someone put a curse on me. The curse is that if I meet a romantic prospect or someone I am dating for lunch, I can guarantee that this will be the last time I ever see him or that we will break up. I must find a way to break this curse as it happened to me again this week. Here is a record of my lost New York City lunch dates:

1. Christopher-Tramway Diner-Christopher was my first boyfriend in New York. We dated for a while, met each other's families and even traveled together. We broke up over lunch at the Tramway Diner, but I don't remember why.

2. Bill D., Trattoria Del Arte-I met Bill at my old hangout NW3 in 1994. He was in town for a wedding and it was actually Valentine's Day. He was a lawyer from Philadelphia and he walked me home from the bar and called me that night when he returned to his hotel room saying that he couldn't wait to see me again. We corresponded for a few months, but lost touch. Four years later, he contacted me out of the blue to tell me that he moved to New York and asked me to meet him for lunch. I remember I wore my best black suit. I never saw him or heard from him again.

3. Michael-his loft- Michael was an older handsome investment banker I met while in grad school. He lived in a loft on Bond Street. He'd pick me up in his SUV and take me to Nobu after class or I'd rollerblade over to his apartment and drink fine wine. The last time I saw him was Easter Sunday 1994 to meet him for a holiday lunch. When I arrived, I noticed a woman's straw hat left by his door. I never saw him again after that day.

4. Rob-Da Silvano-Rob took me to lunch for my birthday while I was working at a dot.com that was going out of business. I liked Rob and we had been on a few dates, so I thought this power lunch might be the time to break the curse. We had a pleasant lunch where during desert he informed me he was quitting his job and moving to Hawaii to become a surfer. I never saw him again.

5. Chris, Manatus Diner-Chris is someone I met recently who I really liked and thought might have the potential to turn into someone I could actually date. A couple of weeks ago, he asked me to meet him for lunch on my day off. I was hesitant and told him about the curse and that I'd hate to not see him again. He assured me it wouldn't happen. So, against my better judgment I agreed to meet him for lunch. Last night he told me that he doesn't think it's a good idea for us to see each other again. I blame the lunch.

I Smell a Rat!

I spent this past weekend home watching NY1. As a result of the London bombing attacks, I'm going to stay off the rails here for awhile. I, however, was horrified by the following story that I watched repeatedly on the NY1 rotation. Rats have taken over the Bronx and the footage made my stomach turn. They showed dead rats surrounded by flies, rats running around in broad daylight and children attacked by rats. I was even treated to the story one more time this morning before work.

One night Eldalis Roa woke up with rats in her bed.

"One on my hair and one on my finger. The one me on the finger and the one on my finger bit me," said Roa.

I don't quite get that second part of that quote, but it doesn't sound good. Read about it for yourself. This is a true story.


NY1: The Bronx

Ask MJ Cat: Friday Catblog

It's time for everyone's favorite expert MJ Cat to answer all your questions! MJ Cat just received his PhD in Cultural Studies from a top online university and continues studying at DeVry. He also has a MA in Cinema Studies, which according to the New York times is the "new M.B.A." MJ can answer questions on any topic from any human being.
>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<

Dear MJ Cat: I recently went with my girlfriend for a pedicure and they charged me 4 dollars more than her. 16 vs. 20. i would not say that my feet are significantly bigger or dirtier than hers. does this seem fair? is this standard? i enjoyed it and would go back, but i am kind of pissed about the upcharge and may reconsider returning.--twinkle toes, Brooklyn, ny

Dear Twinkle: I hate having pedicures and am usually held down or attacked with the clippers when I'm sound asleep. I would never pay for this torture. If you must get feet done, I advise to try somewhere else because you got nailed.

Dear MJ Cat: If a bus left Cleveland at 2 PM and travels 4 hours to Cincinnati, how many beers will I need for the trip?--Aaron D, New York, NY

Dear Aaron: This question is so disturbing that I don't even know how to answer it. First of all, I can't understand why if you live in NYC you'd be in a situation where this bus trip would be necessary. If you are forced to take the trip, buy a 6-pack. Drink 3 in the first hour and spread the rest out of the rest of the trip.

Dear MJ: Does it anger you that each summer families and their canines go on vacation, and the felines are never invited?--Your Aunt, Washington, DC

Dear Aunt: Does it anger you that you are allergic to cats and can't experience the true joy of curling up with a good book and a furry friend?

My New Attitude

Today rapper Lil' Kim was sentenced to one year in prison for perjury. I normally would not care about Lil' Kim and I don't know much about her except she wore a pastie on her boob for the MTV Music Awards and someone she knows shot someone in her presence and she tried to cover it up. The story is interesting to me because in my hometown of York, PA a well-known attorney was also sentenced to jail for screwing with the court system. Aside from this, he's been found guilty of groping a woman in a bar, sexual molesting male clients and embezzling funds from his own law firm. Meanwhile, his son has been arrested with a gun and cocaine in a cheap hotel room. My friends and family in York are always updating me on the fate of this attorney as he was a member of our community and his son was a classmate of mine. As part of the new improved me, I will now refrain from participating in schadenfreude which is a German word that means to take pleasure in the misfortune of others. I will feel sorry for all powerful rich people who are either too crazy or stupid to avoid being thrown in jail.

The Kentucky Fried Podcast

THIS WEEK, WE ARE LIVE ON TAPE FROM MY APARTMENT!

Independent Woman?

Over the past few days, I've been offline contemplating the meaning of life and had a personal rebirth. Here are some of the things I realized and learned:

1. A lap around the Christopher Street Pier is called a "Love Lap." Walking alone around this pier, however, does not guarantee that you will find love.
2. Your company does not "own" you. You have the right to make choices that are best for your own present and future.
3. Receiving a painted postcard in the mail is more satisfying than receiving an email.
4. I'm smarter than most people give me credit for and I always undersell myself. I'm going to stop doing this going forward and again, not waste the pretty in all my life endeavors.

New Podcast Promo

We might not have a podcast this week, but we do have a new commercial! Check it out here!

http://libsyn.com/media/bewareofbabylon/bewarePROMO.mp3

Beware of the Babylon Podcast Update

Everyone keeps asking about this week's Beware of the Babylon podcast. Todd and I are taking a vacation this week and will resume our recording next week after the holiday. In the meantime, visit our site Beware of the Babylon and catch up on the ones that you may have missed. Or, check out our new group The Pod Squad and listen to some other independent podcasts coming out of NYC!

Smooth Cruise

I was pleased to learn today that the American Psychiatric Association released a statement against Tom Cruise's additional statements about psychotropic drugs to Matt Lauer on the Today Show. Tom Cruise should stop trying to control the minds of crazy people and concentrate on winning back the heart of his lost love Rob Thomas. Yesterday, I received email gossip that Tom Cruise actually was having an affair with Rob Thomas and was caught by Rob's wife Marisol. To cover up the affair, Tom paid off the Thomas, contracted Katie Holmes for 8 million dollars for five years and is jumping on couches to hide the fact that he went just a little bit crazy for Matchbox 20 singer Rob.

At first I was skeptical about this story, but I was once in a bar in the East Village in the late 90s where Rob Thomas rubbed against my boobs and chatted me up. Based on my own personal history and the kind of men that I usually attract, Rob Thomas could very likely be both secretly gay and crazy!

"It is irresponsible for Mr. Cruise to use his movie publicity tour to promote his own ideological views and deter people with mental illness from getting the care they need," said APA President Dr. Steven S. Sharfstein.

Over the past five years, the nation has more than doubled its investment in the study of the human brain and behavior, leading to a vastly expanded understanding of postpartum depression, bipolar disorder and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Much of this research has been conducted by the National Institutes of Health and the nation's leading academic institutions."

U.S. Newswire : Releases : "American Psychiatric Association Responds to Tom Cruise's Today Show Interview"

The Force Is Not With Me

Yesterday was a terrible day, although nothing really that terrible happened. I am still recovering and afraid to leave the house and answer the phone for a few days.

1. I had huge lapse in judgment and forwarded a short story via email that a friend of mine wrote. The friend that I sent it to responded NOT to me, but accidentally to the writer with the word "boring." Needless to say, this put me in a bad position and I had to call and apologize to the writer for forwarding on the story without approval and also convince him that I really did like the story myself (which I did.) I also owned up to my breach of judgment that I should never have shown it to someone else. My punishment is that he stated that he will cease sending me any juicy or confidential emails going forward, which blows, cause I love his emails and have a secret crush on him.

2. I had a disturbing conversation with a former fling where he accused me that I still have feelings for him. Frankly, I haven't seen or heard from him in months and have moved on, so I was caught by surprise by this bizarre accusation and told him that I was insulted by his assumption since he knew that my New Year's resolution was to Not Waste the Pretty, which includes him. I feel badly that this man is such a self-centered asshole because he lives close by and the chances of bumping into him are highly probable in the future.

3. After reloading my iPod for five days straight, I accidentally erased all the work I did during the phone conversation with #2. Needless to say, this was the final aggravation of long and upsetting day.

I Don't Do Lunch

I have to confess something to all of you men who ask me out to lunch on weekends or on my day off. I don't like meeting men for lunch. Here is why:

1. If I am not working, I usually stay up all night and sleep at least until noon the following day. Lunch for me is like breakfast and I never look so good in the morning. I also don't like worrying about waking up in time or hearing the phone ring to confirm the lunch date when I should be sleeping.
2. I never know what to wear to meet someone for lunch. I prefer dinner when the rules are more in place.
3. I don't mind meeting for lunch with old girlfriends or under the pure premise of business. I don't like romantic lunches, unless they are an extension of the dinner the previous evening.
4. Frankly, I'm slightly insulted when I'm asked for a weekend lunch rather than a weekend dinner. The man gives himself an "out" by planning lunch so that he can go onto his higher prioritized evening activity. I don't like being second choice.

This is Your Brain on Berry!

The Times reported today that scientists have researched the brain's chemical reaction to seeing celebrities and other images.

When scientists sampled brain cell activity in people who were scrutinizing dozens of pictures, they found some individual cells that reacted to a particular celebrity, landmark, animal or object.

In one case, a single cell was activated by different photos of Berry, including some in her ''Catwoman'' costume, a drawing of her and even the words, ''Halle Berry.''

The findings appear in a part of the brain that transforms what people perceive into what they'll eventually remember, said Dr. Itzhak Fried of the University of California, Los Angeles, a senior investigator on the project.

While all this scientific mumbo jumbo is confusing, you can see an actual diagram of my brain and the specfic celebrities, landmarks and animals that produce a chemical reaction. This kind of research makes me want to be a scientist!

Katie Holmes Timeline

Today Fox 411published a timeline of Katie Holmes' life as of the beginning of April to the present. This is one of the most fascinating pieces of journalism I have encountered in a long time. As I've said before, I've had a dish in the sink that still needs to washed in this short amount of time, while Katie has totally changed her life.

Here is Katie's timeline versus my own timeline:

April, 7th 2005:
Katie: moves to New York City and attends Fragrance Foundation's Fifi Event.
Babylon: I am still living in New York City and feeling on the fence about American Idol's Constantine.

April 11th, 2005:
Katie: Katie attends "Save the Music" concert. She has never met Cruise before.
Babylon: I hear a rumor that my ex's new girlfriend smells. This puts me a funk.

April 11th-April 27th:
Katie: Nobody spots Katie but rumor has it that she flew to Los Angeles to meet with Tom about a role in "Mission: Impossible 3" sometime during this period.
Babylon: I fall in the shower and attend the first meeting of the NYC Podcasting Association.

April 27th:
Katie: Katie reappears and announces she is Tom Cruise's lady. Her star power increased by three points.
Babylon: I'm devastated as Constantine is voted off Idol. The podcast appears in the Wall Street Journa. My star status increases by .5 pt.


The article also questions the period when Katie fires the great John Carabino as her manager during her April 11th-April 27 disappearance. For the most of the month of May, I've been bugging friends to call him directly and get the real scoop.

Freaking Out in Coney Island!

Yesterday, I made one of my dreams come true. Every since the mid-80s and the prominence of such great dancers as Shrimp and Shaba Doo (Breakin' 1984), I've had this secret desire to be a famous breakdancer. I noticed that a group of breakdancers were taking a break so I asked them if I could dance on their mat for a little bit on the Coney Island boardwalk. Little did I know that they were going to turn on the boombox to "Planet Rock" and clap around me as I did the robot and moonwalked in front of a gathering crowd of people.

The We Got Crabs Podcast

Believe it or not, Rachel and Todd actually recorded this week's podcast from outside Manhattan!

Coming to you more live than a freak-show carny is our WE GOT CRABS PODCAST recorded from Coney Island and Clemente's Crab House in Sheepshead Bay.

In this week's podcast you will learn:

* how to bump, bump, bump your ass off

* what happens when you put the mic in the earphone jack

* where to get bootleg copies of DVDs in Brooklyn

* how to speak up and ask for more crab legs

* CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST AND LISTEN! *

Cruise and Holmes get Engaged!

Someone actually emailed me and asked why I am obsessed with Katie Holmes? And my response is, how could I NOT be! I admire this woman. She has put aside all of personal beliefs, judgment, values and reputation to advance her career and bank account by agreeing to marry the publicity-crazy Scientology brainwashed Tom Cruise. I wish I could be that way in order to be more famous and make more money.

Cruise proposed to Holmes atop the Eiffel Tower and creepy Dakota Fanning was there to wish them all the best at Cruise's press conference to promote War of the Worlds. Yet, Tom and Katie go on to say that this entire relationship is NOT a publicity stunt!

And also, I'm willing to be patient to wait for the day when the entire romance/marriage goes to hell and Katie writes a tell-all book called, "What in the hell was I thinking?"

The CNN article ends with this statement:

Holmes said then that she was embracing Scientology -- Cruise's religion. The former star of television "Dawson's Creek" grew up with a poster of Cruise on her bedroom wall and has said she grew up wanting to marry him.

God, maybe this entire romance provides the hope for me that I can marry some of the men I had posters of on the wall as a teenager. Perhaps there is still a chance I'll be Mrs. Huey Lewis, Mrs. Robert Smith or Mrs. Daryl Hall. I now have a photo of Benicio del Toro on my fridge. Perhaps there's a chance for us!

Congrats to Katie and best wishes to Tom!

href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/17/cruise.holmes.ap/index.html">CNN.com - Cruise, Holmes engaged to marry - Jun 17, 2005

I'm being held hostage!

I'm being held hostage all day as I attend a workshop on how to influence WITHOUT authority. The goals is that I will learn to get people to do stuff for me because they WANT to, and not because they HAVE to.

I always take up any chance to receive any type of corporate brainwashing as it provides me with the opportunity to think less while achieving more. I'll be back on my next break to share my authority "score" with you.

Things More Shocking than the Jackson Case

While everyone is still discussing the verdict in the Michael Jackson case, I've been more shocked by the following information and think I need some Jesus Juice to calm down.

1. Katie Holmes is converting to Scientology and ADMITTED this during a press conference? What in the hell is she thinking? How long until she realizes she is totally playing Tom's fool?
2. Somebody I know had his eardrums "pop" today and blood and puss oozed out. This story was shocking.
3. This hot weather is more disturbing than the Jackson case.
4. While I was watching the verdict in a bar, there was a man there who admitted to being molested by his father as a child and when the TV showed Joe Jackson, the guy started screaming, "He's the devil!" This man's reaction to the case was by far more shocking than the case itself!

Jr. Miss Program to Close

As a former participant in the Jr. Miss program (it is not a pageant)and Spirit of Jr. Miss winner, I was saddened to hear the news today that the Junior Miss program is officially closing. Junior Miss not only taught me to "Be My Best Self," but also provided me probably the only time in my life where I will get to wear an expensive white beaded gown. Former Jr. Misses participants include luminaries such as Diane Sawyer, Deborah Norville, Julie Moran, Debra Messing and Kim Basinger. Below, is the official notification.

The board of directors of America's Junior Miss, a premier scholarship program for young women that has presented cash scholarship awards totaling more than $87.7 million, announced yesterday that the 48-year-old program's last day of operation will be Sept. 30.

AJM was a pioneer programthat had blazed a trail that helped raise awareness of the need for scholarship opportunities for young women. The board also said it believed that because AJM had been so successful in raising that awareness, many more such opportunities exist today. We are extremely proud of all AJM has done. It has accomplished its mission at an even greater level than was probably envisioned by its founders.

However, in recent years, the program has faced difficult circumstances and that AJM had been finding it increasingly difficult to attract and retain national sponsors and also had been unsuccessful in efforts to attract the interest of a major television network. Unfortunately, AJM without television means AJM without national sponsors,

The board said it will soon begin developing a plan for closing AJM that will allow the program to end in an orderly, dignified manner and that this year's AJM National Finals will be the last. TV viewers can watch the final night of competition live on Saturday, June 25, on WKRG-TV 5 and on Monday, June 27, when it is aired by PAX TV.

The Hot Sticky Sweet Podcast

This week in the podcast you WILL learn:

- all about the bathroom habits of Pulitzer prize winning author David McCullough

- what ever happened to Paula Cole

- what a kiss from a rose really feels like

- where to find the Madison Avenue of the West Village

* CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST AND LISTEN! *

MJ Cat Friday Catblog: National Adopt a Cat Month!

June is the official adopt-a-shelter-cat month. Here is a picture of my first day living in my new home. As you can see, I've fattened up a bit since then, but I have to confess, I love living in my comfortable apartment rather than the cold hard cage. I suggest for all of you who don't have your own pussy to go down to shelter or rescue mission and adopt a cat this month.

http://www.aspca.org/site/DocServer/9_Ways_to_Welcome_Your_Cat_Home_-_New_Adopter.pdf?docID=4743&AddInterest=1022

Goodbye Mr. C. :Schadenfreude

Today, a "great friend" of NYCBabylon was let go by the crazy brainwashed Katie Holmes. In the photo above, John Carrabino is pictured in the background talking on his cell phone most likely to Big Hands Meagan. I once tried to get John C. to represent me and turn me into a star like he did for Renee but he told me I had no talent.

Page Six reported this today.

KATIE SWINGS THE AX AGAIN

KATIE Holmes has made yet another change in her life. Just a week after replacing Brandt Joel of CAA as her agent with Tom Cruise's representatives at the same agency, Rick Nicita and Kevin Huvane, Holmes has ditched her longtime manager John Carrabino, who also reps Renée Zellweger. Carrabino didn't return calls, but another exec at his firm confirmed that Holmes "recently" left. Holmes' rep didn't know about the move when we called. Meanwhile, Cruise's ex-publicist, Pat Kingsley, is now experiencing Schadenfreude over his career meltdown. The studio cut Cruise's promotion schedule for "War of the Worlds" after he jumped up and down on Oprah Winfrey's couch like a chimpanzee and blurted his love for Holmes. And "Mission: Impossible 3" might be canceled because of Cruise's demands — he insisted on having a "Scientology tent" on the set. The Internet was abuzz that Kingsley — fired by Cruise last year and replaced with his sister, Lee Anne DeVette — must be gleeful. But close friends say no. "Pat is very worried and concerned for Tom," one pal said. "She has always loved and adored him as a good friend."

Words to the Wise

-"Something's wrong with somebody who isn't happy with the face that god gave you."-Strange man to my mother at the gas station as they discussed their theories on the outcome of the Michael Jackson trial.

My Elitist Classification Results

I just took a quiz classifying my elitist classification. My results are:


French pop Kid. You like to listen to Serge
Gainsbourg and you can actually understand what
he's saying. You prefer to go to sit at a cafe
discussing philosophy and art, and chances are
you're speaking in french, just to be
pretentious. Still, you've got great taste in
music, and it's okay to be pretentious about
it, because you know your cool and you could
careless if anyone else thinks so.


What type of indie elitist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

The We've Got Magic to Do Podcast!

THE WE'VE GOT MAGIC TO DO PODCAST

Break a leg! On the podcast this week, you will learn:

- What Todd and I did to get our asses kicked out of the Mercer

- How I spend my Saturday nights

- What kind of soup I really hate

- How we are SO golden monkeys for Liev and Mike

- How much I loved the Sith


* CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST AND LISTEN! *

Congratulations to Liev, My Golden Monkey

Earlier this year, Liev Schreiber proclaimed to be my "golden monkey." Although we rang in the new year together, Liev, however, seems to be having such a fantastic 2005 that perhaps he was wrong. I am actually his golden monkey. While we both have won awards for our work this year, he won the Tony while I won a basic corporate-based award. He is dating Naomi Watts while I sat home on Saturday night alone.

Sugar Magnolia Sunday

On this warm Sunday, every woman in New York City decided to wear her new bohemian Spring 2005 outfit. Long flowy skirts, sequined tunics, smocked emroidered sundresses and beaded necklaces crowded the streets making me feel as if I was on my way to a Dead show rather than to sun myself and read the Times weddings section on the Christopher Street Pier. Women were looking much more dirty than they were a year ago when they were wearing more civilized 50's inspired sundresses and circle skirts. I, too, was part of the fashion madness in my own smocked sundress which I know makes me look pregnant. I am embarrassed I've fallen prey to this ridiculous and unflattering trend.

Catblog Vacation by MJ Cat

We had to take a break from Friday catblogging. My person and I got caught up at BEA (Book Expo of America) and then we went to K-Mart to buy a brand new vacuum. The amount of dirt and fur picked up by the powerful new vacuum put my person into a terrible asthma/allergy attack and she had to take two Benedryl which made her pass out until today. As you know, I am smart, but my paws can't turn on the computer alone. See you next week for Ask MJ Cat!

Have You Met Miss Jones?

Someone asked me today if I prefer to formally addressed as "Ms." or "Miss." After careful consideration, I have concluded that I like to be formally addressed using as "Miss." I am clearly still single, never married and I am never invited anywhere with a guest. This marked single status grants me the privilege of proudly utilizing my "Miss" status. I am available and want everyone to know it. Why mask my single independence and sexuality in a cloud of mystery by using the "Ms." title? The title of "Ms." adds years to a woman's age. If I lived in France, I would want to be addressed as mademoiselle over madame.

Cruise Control Off

Many of my friends and business associates keep asking me "What the hell is wrong with Tom Cruise?" After reading this article in the Times, my theory has been confirmed. Tom Cruise's publicist (his sister Le Anne De Vette) needs to be fired. Paramount Pictures is considering taking away Mission Impossible III from Cruise due to his recent publicity fiasco which includes his overzealous love of Katie Holmes, jumping up and down on Oprah's couch and pretending to be a neurologist making judgment on Brooke Shields.

In reaction to his embarrassing Oprah appearance the article states:

Mr. Cruise's spokeswoman, his sister Lee Anne De Vette, said she had not heard anything negative after the "Oprah" appearance. "You're looking at someone who's genuinely very happy," she said. "The response we've gotten back is complete enthusiasm and exhilaration for his enthusiasm and exhilaration. He's a very happy person."

First of all, he has the potential to damage his career, lose roles and industry respect for his insane Scientology ramblings and teenager behavior. No good publicist would allow a client this type of career-damaging freedom.

On that note, I would NEVER hire my sister as my publicist. Your publicist should be someone who has never seen you naked, is entitled to money in your will or who is only a publicist riding on your own famous coattails.

Summer Goals 1985 and 2005

When I was a teenager, I used to write my "summer goals" at the end of the school year. I decided I think I need to do that again. Surprisingly, the goals are exactly the same while the methods of reaching them might have changed. Here are the goals circa 1985.

1. Get a new bikini that makes me look really cute.
2. Get a great tan.
3. Get passionately kissed by a guy that really likes me.
4. Go to a cool concert with my friends.
5. Play a lot of miniature golf.
6. Save some money to buy some new makeup.
7. Make my hair blonder.

The New Black

I just read in the LA Times that Prep School fiction is the "new black." For some reason, this statement just doesn't make sense to me. So, in the spirit of new summer trends, here is what I consider the new black for June 2005.

1. Merled fur is the new black.
2. Bo Bice is the new black.
3. Honest communication is the new black.
4. Pinching asses on the street while drunk is the new black.
5. Cold sores are the new black.