Friday, March 30, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
As most of my good friends know, I'm a sucker for both Madonna and for H&M. So, when I found out that Madonna was launching her own line for the Swedish department store, I was sure to get my ass over there to check it out. So, despite tepid reviews, I found some good solid pieces. I bought three dresses and a cashmere wrap sweater. With my new shoes from te casan, I'm ready for spring!
As I was on my way home from Gourmet Garage where I purchased some tulips and produce, I noticed a huge-ass Bentley parked in front of my house. I had grocery bags so I paused to get my house keys out when I was stopped by a group of tourists and vagrants asking me if it was my car. Then one man from the midwest said, "It sure looks like it could be your car." And I said, "No, that's not my car," and someone else said, "You sure look like a celebrity and you're getting your keys out. I know that's your car." I had to convince them that I was not a celeb and also that I was not the owner of the Bentley but that I was flattered that I look so rich. I don't know who they thought I was but if you want to look like someone who could roll in a Bentley, adopt the following look. I am wearing Levi's, a white cotton dotted swiss H&M blouse, hand knit sweater from Anthropologie, bronze Unisa flats and my down fur-collar vest. My hair was back in a half-assed bun and I was wearing my prescription Ray Ban aviators. I was also carrying my red beat up Marc Jacobs purse. I'm also very blonde and tan from my Aruba trip so I was not wearing any makeup. I need to go on vacation more often.
I'm back from a fabulous vacation in Aruba. I don't care what you hipsters say, Aruba is fun, relaxing and full of lizards and birds. I spent 7 nights with the Patrick sisters at the Mill Resorts and Suites located on Palm Beach. During our vacation, we celebrated both St. Patrick's Day and Aruba Day! Other highlights included snorkeling, tubing, dancing, and frying ourselves on the beach. I'm so relaxed, I am not even mad at MJ Cat for taking up with Pilobolus.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
* She buys me stuff even when it's not founder's day.
* She makes me laugh, even though cats don't really laugh.
* She lets me sleep on the Time-Warner Cable box.
* She smells nice and she also hates mayo.
* She isn't the cat sitter.
* She has good taste in cats.
- Max, the Cat
Monday, March 19, 2007
New Yorkers got the shock of their lives a few weeks ago with rat infested Kentaco Bells.
Now my fellow cats and dogs get the shock that several brands of canned food have been recalled due to some corporate rats known as Menu Foods.
Please click on the cats and dogs above for more information on the recall and have your pets checked just in case.
On another note, I would like to call for a recall of Greenies Cat Treats. They taste like ass.
- Max, the Cat
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Do not be alarmed if my availability in the apartment changes in the upcoming months.
I have joined the Pilobolus Dance Theatre, and my new schedule is very demanding.
I know how much this may come as a disappointment to you, but I hope that you will please be understanding of my inner desires.
It was joining this or the Hollywood Film Chorale Sound Effects Choir, and all I can do is meow.
All the best,
Max, the cat
PS - My official publicity photo...
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Wouldn't you know, their "platonic" relationship has progressed.
I called this years ago. Please, you could have cut that sexual tension with a cat toe nail clipper.
I hate these so-called married poser cats trying to assimilate into human status quo. I am proud to be a bachelor cat, and Rachel's the only woman for me.
Still I can't help feeling like I'm stuck in some bad sitcom where I'm the single cat.
- Max, the Cat
Friday, March 16, 2007
While my owner gallivants all over the tropics, I get stuck in Category 6: Day of Destruction.
Lucky for me Lifetime Television for Women, gay men, and cats is showing hour long blocks of Golden Girls, Reba, and Still Standing. I'm not quite sure what that last show is, but I'm a sucker for fat guy/skinny wife shows.
Max, the cat
Thursday, March 15, 2007
I am spending most of the day watching my soaps, but I did manage to wake up early for a delicious rat-snack at the Kentaco Bell recently closed on West 4th Street.
Okay, I lie. The doors were closed, and thanks to the board of health, not a rat could be found.
Off to Marc Jacobs later this afternoon for a new collar. More to blog tomorrow.
- Max, the Cat
I'm off to Aruba so MJ Cat will be catblogging again while I'm away. Last year, he was out of control when I was on my vacation. He stole cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery, tried on clothes at Marc Jacobs, went to a Tribeca Foam Party and made the cover of Cat Fancy. I'm curious what adventures he'll have this year. Will he break into the Waverly Inn with Ms. Chat? Will he go to Bungalow 8 with Lohan? Will he shave off all his fur like Britney? I can't wait to see what he's up to this year!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
The celebs are out in full force this week. Tonight, I passed by Rhea Perlman and her daughter walking down Cornelia Street. In other news, I'm headed on vacation in 24 hours! MJ Cat will be catblogging while I'm away.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
|What American accent do you have? |
Your Result: The Midland
"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
|The Inland North|
|What American accent do you have?|
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Beware of the Blog reminded me today that It's Alright to Cry courtesy of Rosie Grier from the 1974 classic Free To Be You and Me. As I watched this on You Tube, I realized that Free to Be You and Me can perhaps be the root of many of my current psychological conflicts. Free to Be was big in the Babylon house in the 70s. We had the book, sang the songs and often watched the TV show as film while at camp or even at Sunday School and I took it all to heart. I really believed that when I grew up, I might be pretty or tall, but I wouldn't have to change at all. I believed that ladies don't always have to their feminine ways to come out ahead and that I could have success in any career I dreamed. I learned it's OK for William to have a doll and I made many gay male friends. I learned that parents are basically just totally fucked up people with children.
I've always felt free to be just me. Now, however, as I'm a woman working in the corporate world, I'm not sure that all of Marlo's lessons hold true. In today's age, crying at work gets you classified as "depressed" or "emotional," using the same aggressive tactics as a man gets you classified as a "bitch," hanging out with your gay boyfriends gets you classified as a "hag" and don't even get me started on what happened to poor Michael Jackson when he grew up acting freely. I'm just not so sure we are all so free to be you and me anymore. I'm just not sure who in the hell we are supposed to be? Marlo?
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
I want to confess. I'm addicted to my Tweezermans. I am obsessed with any stray hair anywhere on my body. So, as you can imagine, growing out my eyebrows is going to be a difficult challenge. I was told last week that my eyebrows are "too thin" so I am now undergoing a project where I WILL NOT TWEEZE my brows for one month. My brows, however, are not that thin and without proper care, I'll be Brooke Shields in a few days. BUT I AM NOT GOING TO TOUCH MY BROWS WITH TWEEZERS! if you see me, don't look through my bangs at my hair brows. I will be seen my an A-list eyebrow expert who will shape my brows in movie star style. Wish me luck.
1. Small fish struggling in big ponds.
2. Confused men from the Pacific side.
3. The Druskin initiative.
4. Fake tans.
Monday, March 05, 2007
1. What does he want from me?
2. Whose idea was it to have Pilobolus on the Oscars?
3. What is going on with the Druskin plan?
4. Where were Britney's handlers?
5. Why does MJ Cat want to bite me in the middle of the night?