Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Big Black Hole Questions for the New Year

I feel as if I'm reentering that Big Black Hole where nobody calls me except the IRS who is auditing me for a year when I actually was unemployed and didn't work. I mean, don't they have better things to do rather than harass me and pay people to determine if I might owe them approximately $10? Here are the unanswered questions plaguing my mind. I don't think the answers exist.

1. Why did Jen and Brad break up? Do I even really care?
2. When is it acceptable to go all the way with a guy you already know you want? Do these rules even make a difference in the long run?
3. How long can one really work in the same job without feeling stale and useless?
4. Can pets transmit diseases to their owners?
5. What is wrong with Verne Troyer and Flavor Flav? Are they just desperate for money? Or for attention?



5 comments:

Tom said...

1. Brad Pitt finally realised that he was married to Jennifer Aniston and acted quickly to correct the mistake.
2. It's always acceptable.
3. 6 minutes.
4. Yup.
5. He's short and he's crap.

The One True Tami said...

1) It's either a: When you're desired by every friggin' person inthe whole world, it's hard to understand why you've decided to settle down with just one, or b: there was vicious lying and cheating going on.

2) As soon as you can be reasonably sure that he won't steal things from you afterwards.

3) Unfair, depends on the job. I've worked here 9 years, and I feel stale and/or useless only in spurts. Sometimes I manage to do things I like, and the happy moments come. At my first job, the answer was 6 minutes.

4) Some of them A cold, definitely.

5) Attention, but money never hurts.

Anonymous said...

1. Because he got tired of her using the same beauty products.
2. Depends on what YOU want.
3. I say six months. The novelty and perks have worn off by then.
4. Yes and vice versa.
5. Next year, they will live in a house with Ashley Simpson, the cast of the OC and Simon Cowell. But seriously, they need the attention. I can't imagine they're getting paid the big bucks by VH1.

Anonymous said...

1. Why did Jen and Brad break up? Do I even really care?
Ladies, the man is gay. Her bells ring the gaydar also, to tell you the truth. You can only go through life for so long with your Dad being Victor Keriakis and be semi-okay.
2. When is it acceptable to go all the way with a guy you already know you want? Do these rules even make a difference in the long run?
Apparently I boff this up quite a bit, but I would say immediately. However, I have been told you are supposed to drag out this. That sux. In the long run, don't you think it would last as shock value even longer if you hop in the sack as quickly as possible in order to give him mind-blowing sex?
3. How long can one really work in the same job without feeling stale and useless?
A job with a "business casual" dress code - 2 months, with a couple of nice pairs of shoes.
A job wearing whatever the hell you want - preferably naked - forever.
4. Can pets transmit diseases to their owners?
Yes. Weird ucky skin stuff; fleas ( a disease on their own ); scabies; and that strange yucky dog moldy stuff that they only get on a monthly basis or something; cat scratch fever; colds...
5. What is wrong with Verne Troyer and Flavor Flav? Are they just desperate for money? Or for attention?
I don't know about Verne Troyer but Flavor Flav has made me rethink my men priorities. I need a man around who calls me his "lady", tells me he wants me to have his "baby", and won't let me leave his sight. The money would be nice also. We could get over the sex thing by letting me wear a nice satin eyemask at night. Any guy who will wear a gargantuan clock on his chest is cool by me.

Bewareoftheblog said...

1. Brad is gay.
2. Acceptable only when you are both consenting to go all the way, and since you are you and he's a guy, I'd say slide to home.
3. twelve years
4. only if you want them to
5. they have tasted the sweet fruit of fame for being famous and want more. we want less. way less.

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