Friday, January 28, 2005

Ask MJ Cat: Friday Catblog

MJ Cat just earned his PhD in Cultural Studies from Trinity Online University. So, now MJ is able to answer questions and offer advice on any topic. Think of MJ Cat as a foxier furrier Dear Abby. From love advice to fashion tips to Oscar race predictions, MJ Cat has an answer for everything. This week, we sent out an announcement to our mailing list and received too many questions to answer this week. For those of you still seeking answers, he'll get to the more complicated questions next week.

Dear MJ: As a fashion statement, what do you think of the Navy Blue Norwegian fisherman's sweater? Now that it's cold and sweaters that have long been in storage are coming out of hiding, I'm just curious about your opinion.--Gotham Image, NY, NY

Dear Gotham: Are you being held hostage in the University Club or did you invent a time machine and are you writing me from Exeter in the year 1986? If so, you should be rich enough to go out and buy a new nice cashmere sweater. I'll take yours. It will warm up my cat bed.

Dear MJ: How do you play Ace King if you don't hit on the flop?--Adam H, New York, NY

Dear Adam: Learning from my weekly game with T.J. Cloutier, I think the ace king is the biggest trap hand in pot-limit and no-limit poker. We debate this issue every week, but we both agree that you should raise most of the time with the ace king. I usually fire another barrel in the hope of picking up the pot, but I'm an aggressive cat who has nine lives. Don't waste your one life entirely on poker.

Dear MJ: My husband travels a lot for business. I am often left home alone with little to do. Sometimes the travel takes a toll on our relationship. How do I keep the romance alive while he is gone? What should I do to occupy my time? -Alone and Anxious, NY, NY

Dear AA-Poor you. I sit home all day by myself. Watch TV, contemplate the oversaturation of Star Jones and sleep to pass the time. Get over yourself and enjoy your independence.

Dear MJ: I've recently noticed my cat joins me in the bathroom every time I shower. He seems to like to sit on the toilet seat when I step into the shower. Is he trying to keep warm this winter, or does he just like seeing me naked? Is my cat gay, basically is what I'm asking. -Beware of the Blog, NY, NY

Dear Beware,
That's so crazy cause I do the same thing! NYCBabylon has great tits and I love watching her in the shower.

Dear MJ: Who The Fuck Should I Vote for In The Coming Mayoral Election?
--The Scope, NY,NY

Dear Scope: Is Harvey Weinstein running? He'd be a good candidate for you. He's leaving Miramax, would scare the terrorists off and he smokes.

Dear MJ: I understand that over where you live, there is a new, expensive,
glossy, high production magazine dedicated to nothing but New York City dogs, their people and their Gotham doggy lifestyles. I have not, however, seen any such thing for cats. What do you and your person plan to do about this outrage?--Outraged in the Burbs

Dear Outraged: Listen, it's not cool for chicks to have cats here in the Big Apple while a dude with a dog signifies the owner has a big enough space to accommodate a large pet. I need my person to move into a bigger place and have some rich dog owner pay for it, so we are better off without any glossy cat mags laying around scaring off the fellows.

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