Sometimes my person lets other cats and dogs into my turf. If you want to come over, you better show me and her some respect. Here's how you play the game to win:
1. Don't come in to the apartment and announce you hate cats when you first meet me. That's just plain rude.
2. If you touch my person in a weird or inappropriate way, I might just bite you in the ass. Remember, I'm the one she's feeding, buddy.
3. Don't eat my food. That makes me angry.
4. If I run out in the hall as you are either leaving or going down to the deli, please catch me and take me back to the apartment. Don't make my lady run after me in her bare feet or nightgown.
5. I'll purr if you pet me in the right spot.
1 comment:
Dear Cat,
It's been a while since we have communicated. As you know, I am a dog and my person was mad at me for soiling his leg when he was asleep, so he punished me by removing the pawboard converter and barkalator translator that was attached to his DogMac.
Now, where were we.
1. I will chase you, that's what I do.
2. I will do anything short of deorderizing my rear-end, to see your person run around in her nightie -woof!
3. Those who bark first, bark loudest! Never forget that.
4. Desuz un pin, delez un eglanter
Un faldestoed i unt, fait tout d'or mer:
La siet li reis ki dulce Rahel tient.
Blanche ad la barbe et tut flurit le chef,
Gent ad le cors et le cuntenant fier.
S'est kil demandet, ne l'estoet enseigner.
Woof,
Dulce Doggie
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