Sunday, January 09, 2005

My Rules

If you want to get with me, these are my rules. While there are other subtle elements involved that cannot be defined on a universal basis, these are some basic hints that might just help anyone out.

1. Compliment me. I always fall for that type of admiration.
2. Take me on some kind of a date. A date is defined as any sort of prearranged meeting where I can wear a skirt, heels and proper undergarments. Ideally, I like to start getting ready three business days in advance, but if your writing schedule does not permit you to plan like this, I might make some concessions.
3. Be nice to me.
4. Pretend to be interested in my cat.
5. Tell me your rules so I can perhaps adjust mine.


Anonymous said...

I think you have a good sense of humor. What can be better than that?

Anonymous said...

My Ruled for women:

1. Compliment me.

2. You have only read the Bell Jar once, a long time ago.

3. Teach me a new thing, like cooking.

4. Be smarter than me. Not very hard.

5. Be shaped more like a Bollywood star, than a Hollywood star.

6. While I am a modern, I still like a woman to maintain a sense or propriety in public.

7. You love speculating about "the meaning" of horrors like Tsunamis, but in reality you know you'll never get anywhere with this kinda talk.

8. You want, one day, to be a mother.

9. You reject the idea of a relationship as a battle or a zerosum game. But sometimes you joke about it, as if you believed that.

10. Proper undergarments, C'est Tout!

Bewareoftheblog said...

And note that a date doesn't necessarily have to be a "date" date. Simply spanning time over some Soho BBQ eats and sighting b-level celebs at Da Salvinos will do just fine. Also helps to compliment the wardrobe. For example, if she wears pearls, you wear a sports jacket. This helps if you know the pearls were going to be worn in the first place. Otherwise you just feel totally underdressed in your button-up shirt and sneakers. C'est la vie.