The Year of the Podcast Podcast

It's the YEAR OF THE PODCAST, so Rachel and Todd are counting down their favorite moments of 2005 live on tape from the Grey Dog Cafe

On the show this week, Rachel and Todd discuss:

• why some cats like the movie Crash

• the Pros and Cons of the Brit.

• why Rachel wants to be taken the Candy Shop

• their favorite celebrity outbursts.

• and their love for their listeners.

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Best Films of 2005

Well, I've seen a billion movies and it's time for my annual list. 2005 was an excellent year for movies.


1. A History of Violence
2. Last Days
3. Squid and the Whale
4. Brokeback Mountain
5. Keane
6. The Intruder
7. In Her Shoes
8. Match Point
9. Millions
10. Batman Begins

Back on the WW Wagon

Well, after gaining 10lbs. during the holiday feeding frenzy, I'm back on the WW Extreme diet. Wish me luck. I want to be back to my fighting weight by Valentine's Day. Also, please excuse my crankiness as I'll be living off of pickles, celery and raw fish for the next 6 weeks.

Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

As a holiday treat, I thought you might enjoy some adolescent photos of me taken around 1985. One of my favorite after-school activities was dressing up in vintage 50's dresses and dancing around with stuffed animals or posing with rifles.

Holiday Greetings from the Upper Crust

Every holiday season I look forward to the "Best of" lists and the nysocialdiary.com round-up of socialite holiday cards. Please provide your own comments as this collage overwhelms me again this year.

Happy Holidays from MJ Cat!

I'm spending the holidays alone but I want to wish all of you a happy holiday season full of good catnip, dangling toys and Pounce treats!

The Men of 2005

This is a list of the best (not all) of the men I dated in 2005. These are the men who inspired me, drove me crazy, consumed me and pissed me off and, yet, made my year memorable. While my friends think I had a good year, I think it has been kind of boring compared to last year which was full of drunks, skunks and spankers. This year kicked off with Liev Schreiber toasting the New Year with me which I hoped would be a sign of a good year to come.

The Slow Zone (January-May)
The Slow Zone is a guy I met up with at the Zog's New Year's Eve party. I already met him before because he dated a friend of mine when they were in college and I knew him slightly from the comedy scene. He was very attentive at first. I even confessed to my friend that I met him and that things were heating up knowing this would upset her. In any case, he suddenly started making excuses about how he had to work all the time and he kept me hanging for months. Then, I found out that The Slow Zone is his actual nickname among women in New York City. If you meet the Slow Zone, be careful because he cannot commit.

Chris x 3 (Spring)
As things were slowing down with the Slow Zone, I found myself dating three guys named Chris. Although it was very confusing, I thought that perhaps the trinity of three men named Chris might symbolize the resurrection of my love life at that time.

The Widower (May-August)
The Widower was a really nice guy and I really liked him. Unfortunately, he found my blog and podcast and every conversation we ended up having became about how he didn't want to ever be mentioned in the blog or on the podcast. We ended up arguing about this on a nightly basis. I told him to stay away from my media because it was upsetting him so much. In any case, he got back together with an old girlfriend and according to my stats, I don't think he's reading this blog anymore.

The Italian Snack (November)
He's Italian, 23 years old and lives around the corner. What else do I need to explain? I have a feeling he'll text me in 2006.

The Brit (May-present)
Although we met in May, things didn't heat up until late summer. He's sometimes cranky and sometimes sweet, but he's the best man I've met and he puts up with all my shit and he is extremely supportive and encouraging in all my endeavors. Oh, and he sends me hand-painted postcards in the mail.

The Architect (January 2003-present)
Despite the fact that I haven't seen him in over a year, he got married and his new wife is pregnant, he is still around via email and IM. I told the Brit about him and he wants me to send the lascivious notes he sends me to his new wife. I, however, don't think that is such a good idea.

Strike!

The Transit System is shut down which means that I'm working from home today. This is kind of like a snow day for urban adults, but without the sledding! Of course, I found out there is that one goody-goody from work who rode his bike to the office and will probably be bragging out this for the rest of his life. All I can say, it's going to be a very cold ride home for him across the 59th Street Bridge. As for me, I just did a load of darks and am getting ready for a conference call. Max attacked my tuna sandwich so I had to make another one. I love the strike!

Do They Know It's Babylon Podcast

And in our world of plenty
This week, Todd celebrate the holidays (like all Jews do)at the Chinese restaurant.

"We can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world
At Christmas Time"

-Boy George
This week on the podcast we deck the halls, light the menorah and discuss

• our love/hate relationship with Santa

• how Judy Bloom ruined Christmas

• all about the holiday songs that matter

• this week's inappropriate fur joke

• just how "Chinese" is the Coffee ice-cream?

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Holiday Party Wrap-Up

I've been out every night at various holiday parties so I haven't been able to blog. Here's some highlights:

Best food: Shauna's mango-glazed ham
Most annoying guest: Broken-nosed photographer guy at Collette's party who tried to get all the girls to pose nude
Most Snacks: All the young media buyers at Google's client party
Worst Food: Company holiday party gave me a bad bad stomach the next day.

Most Awkward Moment of 2005

Tonight I got to an industry-related holiday party and try to make conversation with an account representative. I was running out of topics so I asked if someone I used to know still worked at his company. He then put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but he's dead." I didn't know what to say and there was this awkward five minute pause. Out of all the people that work there, why did I have to mention the one that died tragically young?

Match Point

Along with my love Benicio del Toro, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is my second top celebrity hunk. I don't understand why he's not a bigger star. Todd and I saw Match Point tonight and I Rhys-Meyers was as exciting and sexy as Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia. Anyway, today I went top the gyno and he found another lump in my breast and also told me that I better think about getting pregnant soon because I'm not getting any younger. Well, Benny or Johnny, if you are reading this, I'm ready to become the mother of your child. I'll even vote for you for best actor in our podcast awards!

The Gift that Never Gets Given

What does it mean when someone you care about DEMANDS that you do not buy him a gift? And what does it mean if you love buying gifts? I don't have an answer to this dilemma.

Vadar Had Jumped the Shark

My good friend Todd has pointed out what the best/scariest online promotion I have ever seen in all my years as a marketer. Burger King as teamed up with Star Wars to create a site where Darth Vadar can actually guess what you are thinking. It really works. Todd got it to guess vagina and I got it guess sphincter. Try it. You will be so amazed you will definitely be craving a whopper.

What I Want for Cat-mas: Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

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Originally uploaded by redrachel.

The holidays are approaching so while you are out shopping, don't forget to buy something for your favorite cat. Here's my list for Santa:
1. New Alpine Cat Scratcher
2. Little furry mice
3. Catnip-filled cigars
4. Cat spa
5. Doritos

The Untouchables

When I was in college, there was this group of untouchable boys who would leave me kind of tongue-tied and nervous whenever I had to interact with them. One of the members of this group was a guy named John McCouch who now plays a hot stud on a soap opera. John was my partner in dance class so he introduced me to some of his "untouchable" hot friends. John had this good friend named Casey who was in an English class of mine. Whenever I had to interact with Casey, I was immediately reduced to my adolescent state as Casey always had the prettiest and most sophisticated girlfriends on campus. At the same time, Casey always had time to say hello to me which I interpreted as pity.

Well, tonight, after 15 yrs. of unrequited love and forgotten fantasy, I ended up actually having dinner and drinks with Casey and was disturbed when I realized that he's actually a nice, approachable and decent guy. I'm mad at myself for being such a low self-esteemed moron when I was 19 yrs. old. Casey is on his second wife, so perhaps if and when he's ready for his third, I will need to make my intentions known.

Things I Hated 2005

It is that time of the year when I list all the things I hated in 2005. For last year's list, you can click here.

1. Tyra Banks. I'm sick of her and wish she and wish she would just disappear.
2. Hal Spark's commentary on VH-1 shows. He's not funny and he talks too much and I dread seeing him on TV.
3. Skinny celebrities going out in fat suits to see what it's like to be treated as a fake fat person.
4. When men I like get too tied up with their work to call me daily.
5. Danny Bonnaduce and Christopher Knight. I hated them then and I hate them now.
6. My doctor. He's not helping me get over this bad cough and I can't even get an appointment with him.
5. Max (my cat) biting me on the calf when he doesn't want me to leave in the morning.
6. Dieting. It still does and will always suck.
7. TomKat, but everyone kind of hates them. I just feel very sad because I used to like Tom.
8. I am very upset that my local laundromat has closed down and I have nowhere close to go to do my darks. I hate this situation and I hate the mean man who runs the place I now go to on Carmine Street.
9. Running out of toilet paper
10. Current wives of ex-boyfriends
11. I hate it when I ask for a raise at work and I'm told to get another job and they can match it. Why do companies play that game? It just seems so stupid.
12. I hate the jeans section at Bloomingdales. It is too overwhelming.
13. I hate growing out my hair.
14. I hate waiting at the nail salon.
15. Rain. I hate it when it rains.
16. I hate being invited to weddings without a date.
17. I hate cleaning the bathroom.
18. Smelly homeless people on the subway
19. The customer service people for Sprint PCS
20. Sunburns
21. Itchy feet
22. Paris Hilton and all the gossip that surrounds her. It's boring now.
23. mayo
24. ketchup
25. cheese
26. relish
27. I hate that Clinique has discontinued Gentle Light makeup.
28. I hate when Todd forgets the proper equipment to record the podcast and we have to use his digital camera.
29. I hated working in Hoboken, but I took care of that.
30. I hate when my friends don't live up to their potential and don't take risks to change their lives.
31. I hate being single when I'm sick. I don't have anyone to clean up the puke or make me soup.
32. I hate Mark McGrath as a host on Access Hollywood.
33. I hate when my leg cramps at the movies.
34. The way my cat won't eat out of the bowl and only food from off the floor
35. cab motion sickness
36. I hate finding out someone I like has a substance abuse problem and I was too stupid to know it.
37. Buying my own drinks.
38. I hate worrying about terrorist attacks.
39. 9:00AM Monday morning meetings.
40. Current celebrity perfumes including the stinky ones by Britney Spears and Sarah Jessica Parker.
41. Pet abuse
42. People taking credit for other people's works.
43. People who use big words in order to appear smart, but really talk straight out of their asses.
44. Inefficient clerks at check-out counters
45. Dick Cheney
46. I hate leaving Max alone by himself when I go away.
47. I hate when my iPod crashes and the fear that I can instantly lose days and days of downloading.
48. I hate the cost of good bras.
49. I hate visiting people. My friends are starting to complain but I prefer to be in my own town in my apartment.
50. Allergies and asthma

The Lion, the Witch and the Podcast...

A game of hide-and-go-seek takes Rachel and Todd on a trip way beyond R. Kelly's closet and into a world beyond your imagination.

Highlights include:

• Narnia - It's E.T. good.

• She bops a we bop

• Billy Joel's Italian secret

• Fear the glockenspiel, love the skin flute

• Peta approved podcast procedure


CLICK ON THE PHOTO ABOVE TO HEAR THIS WEEK'S SHOW ON YOUR COMPUTER
or use ITunes' new podcast feature to subscribe to all the podcasts
(just search for Beware of the Babylon and subscribe)

Catblog Friday: Tabby Stowaway is Reunited with Her Person!

MJ Cat is busy working on his holiday cards, but he wanted to let you all know that is cousin Emily was reunited with her person after her ordeal where she ran away from home and stowed away for three weeks in a shipping container headed to France.

These Boots Are Made for Walking

It's that time of the year where mid-tier department stores like Macy's and Lord & Taylor conduct their annual holiday friends and family sales. I never thought I'd ever say this, but I am Friends-and-Familied out. Everything is starting to look the same from year to year and low-rent cashmere still pills even with the additional 20% off the 40% sale price. I have decided these stores must repeat these big huge sales so you can replace all the crap that either got worn out or was too trendy from the year before. The only thing I saw that I REALLY wanted was not on sale and those were the Tara Subkoff for Easy Spirit boots. I just can't justify or afford paying almost $500 for Easy Spirit shoes. If, however, you are reading this and you are from another country and DO NOT know what to buy me for Xmas, I am a size 37.5 or 38 and would also love the fur scarf at Bergdorf Goodman. (You know who you are!)

Take It On the Run

I just returned from my first work karaoke outing. I think I found a good team for me to be a part of in the workforce. I've never had a job where I was able to sing a Tainted Love duet with my cool new boss or got to see the woman from Global getting down with the office Snack to Living on a Prayer. Banking rocks!

The Fur Scarf

Today I tried on a mink scarf at Bergdorf Goodman. If you are reading this and want to buy me a really nice present, I want the chocolate brown mink scarf located in the front of the store. I'm too young for a fur coat but the right age for a fur scarf. Despite what I said in the last podcast, I do not want a fur scarf made out of my cat.

Stairway to Heaven

I haven't been blogging because I've been hiding out in bed and eating cake while listening to the entire 1043 top classic rock songs on Q104.3 with my special friend. This was a perfect way to end a relaxing Thanksgiving weekend. For those of you who must know, the #1 song was Stairway to Heaven.

Things for Which I Give Thanks 2005

Well, it's that time of the year where I contemplate for what I am thankful this year. Here is the list:

1. MJ Cat-Believe it or not, I am still thankful I have the pleasure of sharing my home with this wild cat. I love him and I look forward to seeing him every day.
2. Matthew-Despite what I say and or how I behave, I'm thankful that I met him and that he still seems to like me.
2. My New Job-I have been working so hard for so long so it's nice to be out of the poverty bracket.
3. Todd and the Podcast-Working with Todd on the Beware of the Babylon podcast has been the most satisfying creative experience I've had in many years. I'm also very thankful that Todd is my friend.
4. The Risotteria-I still drop in on almost a daily basis and Joe still provides me with wine and advice.
5. Mary Kay Timewise-Eveyone at my new job thinks I am in my early-mid 20s.

Help me Hello Kitty!

Leave it to Hello Kitty to help you with all your Big Black Tuesday dilemmas. She offers more advice, but this particular test seemed the most relevant. Let me know how it pans out for you. Thanks to my new buddy at Tokyo Shoes for leading me to the guru that is Hello Kitty.

Rest sound knowing that Hello Kitty can help you with all of your life's problems.

Aslan Lives!

I haven't seen a really great movie this year until tonight. I attended a screening of the new Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I don't know if I've ever seen an adaptation that so vividly brought a favorite childhood book of mine to life. Although I enjoyed the animated version as a kid, this movie brought the book to life in the vivid way I pictured so many of the characters when I first read the book in third grade. The movie itself defies intellectual criticism in the same kind of way as did My Dog Skip . Aside from the spectacular cinematography and the exciting adventure narrative, the film brought me back to my youth and reminded me how much I love reading and how that particular novel captured my imagination as an optimistic young girl. When the film goes into release on December 9th, I highly recommend that you see it as soon as possible. My eyes felt dusty throughout the movie as I experienced a serve sense of nostalgia along with emotions of hope and faith that movies can still be really entertaining.

I Am Getting Married!

I'm through with the Snack and planning my upcoming wedding. I've noticed a recent trend where brides and grooms are creating elaborate wedding Web sites to create some excitement around their upcoming nuptuals so I'm working on mine now!

For details about my wedding, click here!

The History of a Loft Reflects the His-and-Her Story of a Couple - New York Times

My friend Kristen once tried to set me up with this buy in this past Sunday's Real Estate section. Unfortunately, I was too stupid to unerstand this man's apartment potential and didn't have any interest. I hate seeing my mistakes in the Times. Now he's married and has a lot more space than me.
The History of a Loft Reflects the His-and-Her Story of a Couple - New York TimesThe History of a Loft Reflects the His-and-Her Story of a Couple - New York Times

The R Kelly Cast

This week Todd and Rachel podcast from O'Flaherty's on Restaurant Row and end up
trapped in R. Kelly's closet...

Highlights include:

• How best to remember your pets

• Who would your rather? Bono or Sting?

• Why you shouldn't go into Rachel's closet

• Baby names that do not go well with 'Sokolove'

• Who get's the baby?




CLICK HERE or
or use ITunes' new podcast feature to subscribe to all the podcasts
(just search for Beware of the Babylon and subscribe)

All That and a Bag of Chips

As part of my obsession with my new 23 yr. old snack, I decided to have a complete Snack weekend. For those of you unfamiliar with the term "Snack" please read the following post entitled "The Joys of Snacking with Younger Men" that I wrote last year. I haven't seen him since Thursday although he did call me and hang up. I fear though that in the current cultural environment where Demi married Ashton and Cameron and JT are still together, that perhaps the shelf-life of a Snack can be extended and I'm not sure if that's such a good thing. I'm always curious what these younger men do in their free time with their friends. I have a feeling they are not sitting home watching 60 Minutes and making turkey chili.

Here's how I spent my weekend researching Snack lifestyle:

-I actually went to see the movie Prime which kind of sucked but was a movie about the shelf-life of Snacks. I was much more interested in patient/therapist storyline than I was in the relationship between Uma and her Snack. What does this say about me?
-I went shopping at Urban Outfitters and bought some t-shirts.
-I had my hair cut and asked my guy to make it "messier."
-I ordered chicken wings and a slice of pizza for dinner.
-I stayed in bed until 2 today.

I just hope he calls me or I run into him again in the neighborhood soon. I'm having Snack withdrawal.

Survey Results

MJ Cat is celebrating Veteran's Day and taking the day off from catblogging. In any case,I wanted to present the survey results from my Man Survey.

It was an even split for the preselected candidates, but under the "other" category, ten people wrote in "Todd" so Todd won the survey. Somebody wants me to get with some guy from the NBA who was also not an option because he DUMPED ME over three years ago. Todd is also not a viable option because he is GAY and has a serious partner. So, I decided to choose Il Sputino the Italian Snack because he smells good and told me that I "impress" him. This survey was a waste of my time.

Big Black Hole Thursday

There are many things I don't understand in this crazy world. Here are some of them:

1. How is that ugly crazy Lisa is still a contestant on America's Next Top Model?
2. What exactly is wrong with Fernano Ferrer?
3. What is Max thinking when he stares at me for hours on end?
4. Where should I go to buy a new winter coat?
5. Why does House limp?
6. How does one celebrate Veteran's Day?

New Online Survey: Should I Be Into Him?

Well, it's that time of the season where men appear from the woodwork as they anticipate a lonely upcoming holiday season. Here are my current choices of men who at this moment appear to be into me. Please vote for your favorite so I can make an informed decision about how best to spend my time.

Il Sputino
Pros: He's 23, Italian and handsome.
He lives around the corner.
He attends film school and can talk serious film with me.
He likes to cook.
He's up for activity any time.
Cons: He's young and foreign.
His friends are young and smoke pot.
He doesn't properly keep a schedule.

Full House
Pros: He's very smart and has celebrity friends.
He's already bought me a gift which was a book about the psychoanalytic theories about the art of flirting.
He's kind of famous.
Cons: He's 50.
He spends every other weekend in Toronto with his ex wife and two kids.

Englishman in New York
Pros: We already have an established relationship.
He sends me painted postcards.
He makes me laugh.
He loves MJ Cat and vice versa.
Cons: He's obsessed with work and gets grouchy when things don't go well for him at work.
He wishes that he was dating a model rather than me.

The Lower East Side Rock Star
Pros: He's in my dating age range.
He's a member of SAG.
He's persistent.
Cons: He lives like he's a Snack.
He spends a lot of time a band practice.
He can't make a date and always calls me at the last minute.

The Trumpeteer
Pros and Cons:He plays the trumpet.



Click here to take our Online Survey

Kate Bush "Aerial" Album Released Today!

After 12 years, Kate Bush, one of my favorite singers, has released her new album "Aerial." I am an unabashed and unapologetic fan of Kate. I remember the first time I heard "Wuthering Heights" in the early eighties and was blown away that a teenager could write a song like that. While my friends were freaking out to Menudo, I was contemplating the second side of Hounds of Love. I even stood in line for five hours in the sleet to have Kate autograph the most expensive CD I ever purchased which was the bootleg Phoenix Recordings. I am glad she's back. Now, I have to go listen to Aerial so I can savor it without interruption. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with Kate, here is the Wiki summary of her career.

Here are my top ten favorite Kate Bush songs:
1. Wuthering Heights
2. Running Up That Hill
3. Cloudbusting
4. Under the Ivy
5. Why Should I Love You
6. December Will Be Magic
7. You're The One
8. The Man With the Child In His Eyes
9. Wow
10. This Woman's Work

Tasteless Cat Humor

This is sick, but it made me laugh.

Working Girl Update

Despite my Avian flu, I love my new life in corporate America. I haven't felt this comfortable since I had a temp gig as a sales assistant at Dean Witter. I don't know why I thought I should be working in "entertainment/media" for all these years. Banking rules! Everyone at my new job has been very nice to me. At my last job, I sat alone in a cube for weeks before anybody really talked to me. I'm booked up for lunch for the next month and I've already made two new friends. Now, I just need to focus on my wedding and I will be living the American dream.

The Smells Like Maple Syrup Podcast

We're back from our hiatus and Todd and I caught up tonight at Cafe Dante for a brand new Beware of the Babylon podcast!

In this week's long awaited podcast, find out -

• what you should do if your pussy smells like maple syrup

• who put the rum in the baba rum?

• why Todd's Dad might have to arrest him

• what kills the music game for me

• how do you measure, measure a year?


Click the picture to hear it or use ITunes' new podcast feature to subscribe to all the podcasts (just search for Beware of the Babylon and subscribe).

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat: Up All Night, Sleep All Day

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Originally uploaded by redrachel.

I've been having a terrible time sleeping because my person has been coughing all night. For the last two nights, I've been sleeping alone on the chair. Next week, I'll be answering your questions for "Ask MJ Cat" so please email me at nycbabylontips@aol.com with your questions.

100 Third Avenue Update

Many of you might remember during the late 90's, I lived in an illegal apartment above a gay porn theater on lower third avenue. My roommates included a despotic skirt-wearing Iranian and his caffeine-addicted girlfriend, a Japanese guy named Aki who had a well-known acoustic act at the Sidewalk Cafe, a photo student from Cooper Union named Joanna and Melissa, an eccentric girl who lived in the back room we called the "Anne Frank Suite." While I would be sitting in my room quietly watching Fashion Emergency, Jo and Melissa were having a secret affair breaking up the entire fabric of our dysfunctional family. The affair even inspired the song "Joanna" recorded by the late great band The Cogs. Jo was forced to move out of the apartment by her controlling boyfriend in the middle of the night after he learned she was "licking ditches" with the crazy girl from the Anne Frank Suite. She skipped out on the rent and left the apartment in the middle of the night. I've lost touch with all these people but I did get an email from Melissa informing me of her current whereabouts via this interview on Gothamist. She's now driving a cab. Read the interview here. Now, I wish I knew what happened to Aki. He was a nice guy.

Help me House!

God, I wish I could score an appointment with Dr. House. I spent the last day of my vacation at D.O.C.S. which is the urgent care center. It turns out that I was breathing at only 1/2 my lung capacity so I had two nebulizer treatments and was prescribed some steroids. I pray the drugs kick in before my first day of my new job tomorrow. Dr. House could have cured me in an hour, but D.O.C.S. took over a week.

Unhappy Halloween

This has been my most depressing Halloween ever. I usually like to go and march in the parade, but this damned bronchitis left me short of wind and watching the parade at home on NY1. I start my new job on Wednesday and am praying that I recover.

Your Cat's Just Not that Into You

Last year, I was obsessed with the He's Just Not That Into You and now a new book has come out entitled Your Cat's Just Not that Into You. So, not only have I been wasting the pretty on a stream of emotionally unavailable men, it turns out I've been wasting the pretty on MJ Cat. It's true. He bites me, destroys my furniture and wakes me up at 5AM for no apparent reason. I've been sick with bronchitis for a week and he hasn't provided any sympathy and has been ignoring me. I guess I should give up men and cats and go get myself a dog.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

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Originally uploaded by redrachel.

I'm dieting during my week of vacation and I'm hungry as hell. As you can see, I'm a little big around the middle these days.

Halloween Costumes Greatest Hall of Fame

Halloween used to be my favorite holiday. This year I have nowhere to go, so please feel free to use any of my costumes from Halloween pasts. I never had a mother who could sew or make exciting costumes so I either had to buy the plastic ones or invent my own. Here are some of my favorites:

Werewolf(1976): I was so excited when my mother bought me the werewolf costume at Kmart ahead of time to ensure it wouldn't be sold out. I, however, became scared of my own costume and it had to be moved out of my closet to another room. I remember my father put the mask on when I was watching TV, peeked around the corner and scared the hell out of me.
King Kong (1977): I loved the Jessica Lange King Kong remake so I wore an oversized King Kong mask along with a black bodysuit and tights. I'd still wear this costume if I could, but I weighed only 30lbs at the time.
Dead Cowboy (1980): I was kind of a tomboy at the time, so dead cowboy was an easy costume to create. I just wore my western shirt and Billy the Kid jeans. I put on some pop guns on a holster and finished it off with a skeleton mask.
Marilyn Monroe (1988): This costume is pretty standard and my best friends Stephanie and Jessica dressed up as James Dean and Elvis to be part of the dead legends group. Our fourth friend Leigh, however, dressed up as a sexy skunk which totally screwed up our theme. Her mother didn't think it was appropriate for her to dress up as a dead celebrity but she somehow got away with wearing a bodysuit and a bushy tail.
Madonna: (1989-1991): I dressed up as various incarnations of Madonna throughout college.
Courtney Love (1992): I don't know why I chose to dress up as Courtney before she was even that famous, but I had so many baby doll dresses and my Madonna wig was on the fritz so it all made sense during my days of irony.
Miss Georgia (1995): I decked out in full beauty queen regalia to rollerblade through my first Greenwich Village Halloween Parade. This was my best Halloween in the city.
Willie Nelson (2003): I revived my dead cowboy look except I bought a Dorothy Wizard of Oz wig and converted it to Willie Nelson by removing the bows. I handed out candy to little kids in Chelsea with my pregnant friend Diane. Nobody knew who I was except one hip father. I did see one kid dressed up as a werewolf so I gave him some extra candy.

Hot Time in the City

I'm taking a vacation for the next week in my own apartment. Today was a very exciting day. I went to D.O.C.S. because I can't get rid of this damned cough. Then, I went to buy a new DVD player since mine died. Now, I'm making some Italian sausage and tomato sauce. I can't imagine what excitement will come tomorrow. I think tonight I'm going to get my sweaters out since the temperature outside has plummeted.

Flown the Coop

Smallbat is gone. He's not on the wall anymore and must have flown away to another place. Perhaps he knows I'm leaving today too and this is some kind of October sign. I'm taking the rest of the week and part of next week off to recoup, rest and pet MJ Cat. Then, I'm off to corporate America.

Take This Job and Shove It

Tomorrow is my last day at my current job. I am in the process of creating a "smooth transition" so I won't be able to blog much today. All I can say is that quitting is very stressful.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

MJ Cat
Originally uploaded by redrachel.

I love cuddling on a chilly rainy fall morning. I can't wait until next week when my person takes a vacation and spends everyday with me before she turns into a corporate drone.

Flickr is the New Google

Wall of Kitsch
Originally uploaded by nycbabylon.

I am now obsessed with Flickr, which is a Web site that allows users to publically post photos. I love snooping through stranger's lives through their photos photos. I also love snooping through the photos of exes on Flick as well. Imagine my surprise when I found an ex's flickr site and was able to see his new wife in the flesh. Once I saw her small tits, their perfectly decorated mid-century modern apartment and her long hair, I was able to know why he didn't marry me. I used to Google men, but now I'm going to flickr them to see what really goes on their sick heads.

Smallbat

This is a photo of a little baby bat that we've named "smallbat." Smallbat has been literally hanging outside our office walls for the past couple of days. I'll miss him so much when I leave this building for good next week.

Announcement

I am in the process of changing jobs. This is much more stressful than I imagined it would be. I've had to resign twice due to the fact that my boss was on her honeymoon during the period I had to give my notice. All of this big career stress is making me not able to feel emotional about things I normally would be going crazy about had I not been switching jobs. Here are some things that I wish I could emotionally respond to but am unable to right now:

1. TomKitten: In the back of my mind, Katie Holmes looks more pregnant than she says she is, but when I think about it, my head kind of hurts and I must stop.
2. The Englishman: I like this guy and he's having a bad week and told me he's in a foul mood and can't talk to me until Friday. Normally, this would upset me. Today, I don't care.
3. Ashton Kutcher's fedora: Thinking about this gives me also gives me a little headache.
4. Citarellagate: I got in trouble last night for gossiping at Citarella with Big Hands Meaghan. Has the West Village turned into Wisteria Lane?

TomKitten Gossip: Exclusive Gossip

I just ran into Big Hands Meaghan at Citarella and although she is a slightly unreliable source, she is slightly connected to the higher powers that be. In any case, BHM told me that Katie Holmes is actually carrying the frozen sperm of Scientology leader L. Ron Hubbard. I don't know if this is true, but I feel compelled to report this piece of celebrity gossip.

It was a Full House

I am posting this from location in York, Pa, where I am in town for a wedding. After the wedding we all went back to the Yorktowne hotel where I capped off the evening with Bob Saget who was also in town for a gig. I actually had to call my mother to tell me to pick me up later than planned because I was hanging out with Bob. I never thought I'd ever utter to a parent, "Can you pick me up at 12:30 cause I'm in the middle of something with Bob Saget," and then say to Bob Saget, "We need to wrap this up because my mom is coming to pick me up." In any case, Bob told me a juicy story about Bungalow 8, that Jew jokes in York bomb, that Jon Stamos is the most fabulous man on the planet and that Naomi Watts is a witch. I kind of love Bob Saget now. He's sexier than Liev Schreiber and is my new favorite celebrity.

Intelligent Design Update: Dover Update

New York Magazine has a piece written by Kurt Anderson this week entitled "Why Intelligent Design Must be Stopped. You can read it here.

Because I was born and raised in York County, I have a special interest in this political topic. What I am about to say will sound mean and snobby and perhaps vengeful, but growing up in York County, I was once called a "stupid Jew" by a student who attended Dover Area High School. Although this was scary and hurtful, I questioned the education that these kids were receiving at Dover Area School District and the values of their parents. I attended a school that was known as the "snob school" While not that diverse, my school district encouraged kids to attend college and attempted to keep religion out of the classroom. While I fully agree with everything that Anderson is stating, I would like to add something that most press coverage does not mention. Dover is full of hicks and the fact that these uneducated airbags are getting so much press coverage is upsetting to others in the county. So, I'm a Jew and an Evolutionist and believe it or not, I'm from York, PA.

Rosemary's Baby?

The Squid and the Whale

For those of you who are big Jeff Daniels fans and whose parent's divorce fucked you up in the 80's, run dont' walk to see The Squid and The Whale. So far, this is the best movie I've seen this year.

Wedding Update

I just went to a wedding this past weekend in Nowhere, Ohio. Again, I was not invited with a date but I shared expenses with a friend which made attendance somewhat feasible. In any case, I created a new strategy of attending weddings alone that make the time more fun and pleasant, especially when you really don't know anyone else there.

Steal someone else's date. I tried this tactic and it definitely added more fun to the event. I treated my pretend date as I would any other man in my command and for some reason this guy totally obliged to my requests. He escorted from my car to the church with an umbrella, he sat with me the table when I didn't want to dance while his real date danced with her friends, he got me drinks at the bar and he even saved the plant I had carry as I almost dropped it in the parking lot. At the airport, he even hugged me goodbye. The best part is that his real date didn't even seem to care. I hope I see him again although his name has already slipped my mind.

A New Leash On Life

A reader complained that I've been spending too much time on this blog posting photos of my cat and sharing lame celebrity gossip. He's right, but I have an excuse. I am making some major life changes and decisions now that will be leading me towards the scary world of adulthood. I can't reveal what these are, but soon you will all find out and I will have much more to discuss than my my cat and Katie Holmes. I know you all love a mystery.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

Most people don't know that I am a devout "Catlic" so I am praying that my person's trip to Ohio this weekend is safe and that nothing scary happens on the New York City transit system!

Gentiles Don't Eat Dessert Podcast

Listen as Rachel serves chopped liver to two Jews who can't stand it and four Gentiles who can't get enough.

Other shocking revelations in tonight's Rosh Hashanah podcast include...

• What celebs will be inscribed in the book of life this year?

• The secret recipe for Temple Chicken.

• Todd can speak Hebrew, but then again, so can Wyndham.

• The strange connection to Macho Man and Xanadu.

• and for the first time anywhere - Olivia Newton John exclusive audio commentary.


Click the picture to hear it or use iTunes' new podcast feature to subscribe to all the podcasts (just search for Beware of the Babylon and subscribe).

Whirlwind of Gossip: Keanu Reeves and Diane Keaton?

I've had such an overflow of celebrity gossip in the past two days that my mind is spinning. I don't know what is true or false or just plain crazy.

1. Katie Holmes is pregnant and Tom Cruise is the father. Are her very strict Catholic parents upset?
2. Nick and Jessica are over. Nick is kind of sexy and he can do better.
3. Keanu Reeves is dating Diane Keaton. I wonder if he's more than just a snack to her or if she's trying to capitalize on Demi's recent wedding.
4. Lindsay Lohan was in another car crash.

If I'm missing anything else, please let me know.

Breaking News: Tom and Katie Expecting?

Oh my god! Katie Holmes is pregnant with the baby of Tom Cruise and this has been confirmed. I'm too shocked to say or write anything else today.

Happy New Year!

My spirituality is very fickle, but I love this time of the Jewish New Year where I can attempt to wash away my sins, whip up some chopped liver and take a day off of work!

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat: Ambien

This week, MJ Cat stars in the short film entitled "Ambien." As you will see he is a method actor.

Click here to see the film!

The Baby Mama Podcast

This week's Beware of the Babylon goes out to all our baby mamas.

Other bold statements include:

• Creationists need to keep it in their pants.

• Shania don't impress us much.

• Jim Croce may be alright after all.

• Pit-stains rock Rachel's world.

Plus, don't miss this week's exciting new feature: SHE'S A LADY!

Click here to hear it or use ITunes' new podcast feature to subscribe to all the podcasts.

The Great Panda Trial

In my new favorite blog yorkblog.com, resident columnist Mike Argento examines the Intelligent Design trial going on in Harrisburg, PA. For those of you not following this debate, Dover School District in York, PA wants to incorporate the textbook "Of Pandas and Men" which refutes Darwin's theories on evolution. Argento discusses the testimony of a science teach who had to quit teaching due to the debate. If Intelligent Design is approved to be taught in public school science classes, Argento asks:

You start questioning your decision to dedicate your life to this school. What’s next? Will the school board ask you to start teaching that gravity is merely a theory and that you have to balance that theory with the belief that gravity is God’s way of saying you’ve had too much tequila? Will the school board start telling history teachers that because some believe the Holocaudidn'tidn’t happen, that they’ll have to balance their instruction thusly? Will the school board demand that English teachers begin teaching kids that the plural of “you” is “youse”?

It's all in the Gravy

Every once in awhile someone gives me a fabulous easy-to-make recipe that I must share with my readers. Here is one for Chicken Marsala. I don't have the measurements, so use your judgement.

Ingredients:
Boneless thin chicken breasts salted
Fresh Pepper
Mushrooms
Marsala Wine
Fresh Parsley
Garlic-flavored Pam
Can of Franco American Beef Gravy

Brown the chicken in the Pam. Set aside. Brown the mushrooms in some more Pam and add some parsley. (I love parsley so I add it to everything.)Pour in a small amount of Marsala wine and stir it in to the mushrooms. Then add enough Franco American gravy until it thickens. (I added 1/2 small can). Serve with noodles or pasta and garnish with fresh parsley. (I also add fresh pepper to everything.)

The Blog Everyone is Talking About!

York, PA has finally launched a blog called Yorkblog.com. From high school football to the denial of Darwin to managing livestock, this blog makes Gawker look like yesterday's news.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

I'm slightly hungover from a catnip binge last night, so I'm taking a break from starring in any films this week. I just hope my behavior doesn't get me fired from any of my spokescat deals!

I Do Not Sniff the Coke: Kate Moss Update

In light of the recent downfall of supermodel Kate Moss, I would like to make the following comments. For those of you living in a cave, Moss was caught sniffing cocaine and had the photos splashed all over the tabloids. As a result she's lost multi-million dollar contracts with H&M and Chanel. I do not do any illegal drugs, but I want to say that I do prefer that my favorite models do for the following reasons:

1. The drug use of models allows me to understand how they stay thin and validates that I will never be that thin since I can't afford cocaine and am afraid of messing around illegal addictive substances.
2. When I shop at a store that's clothing is promoted by Moss or any coked-up model, I feel better when I might have to buy a size larger than I think I am due to the fact that I know that Moss is coked up and therefore, can fit into very small European sizes.
3. Coked up models are the ideal candidates to promote cosmetics as one of my biggest challenges is covering up blotchy skin and dark under-eye circles. Because drug use can contribute to these complexion issues, supermodels are the perfect spokeswomen to promote these types of products.

Green Acres Is Not the Place to Be

I've heard the most startling news over the past 24 hours. A new trend which I will now call "Green Acreing" is arising among thirty-something single women where they leave their fabulos urban lifestyle, move to the country and make hay with the man they love.

-A successful New York woman who has toiled away at JP Morgan for 13 years is leaving her luxurious lifestyle and beautiful apartment to take up with a hay farmer in Oregon. The closest Wal Mart is over an hour away and they have to take an airplane to get groceries.
-I heard the Park Avenue daughter of a successful New York City physician has taken up with a truck driver and she is very happy. I never have met a truck driver in my life or considered dating one.
-A trust-fund pretty girl married a high school science teacher, moved to the midwest and is now divorced.

I dated the son of a dairy farmer in high school and let me tell you, a girl can get badly bitten rolling around in a corn field.

A tit for a tit! Tyra Banks Show Update!

I cannot wait to go home and watch the Tyra Banks Show All About Breasts show tonight!

Tyra puts a decisive end to the rumors about her breasts with an on-air sonogram. Plus, Tyra gives real women bra makeovers, and tells one young woman she’ll finally get the life-changing surgery she needs to boost her self-esteem. And blonde bombshell Anna Nicole Smith and “Desperate Housewives” star Ricardo Chavira, a spokesman for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, stop by to talk about these celebrated womanly assets. And check out the latest in bust-enhancing lingerie with a Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

In honor of Tyra's Tit Day, I will reveal that mine are real and that they are spectacular.

Emmy Post Show

The past couple of days have been very surreal. After a Saturday night filled with liquor and lust, I attended a very long and bad matinee peformance of Fiddler on the Roof starring Rosie O'Donnell and Harvey Fierstein. Fiddler on the Roof has always been one of my least favorite musicals. I also am not a big fan of Schindler's List. In any case, afterwards, Todd and I had this bizarre photo shoot at Sardi's and I ate so much salt I probably look as bloated at Patricia Arquette did last night at in that ill-fitting white dress she wore to the Emmy's. After the photo shoot, I rushed home to watch the Emmy's and as I turned on the channel, thought I was hallucinating that Donald Trump was wearing overalls and singing the Green Acres theme song with Megan Mullally. I had to go to bed early so I only watched a short amount of post-Emmy coverage and I swear that Trump told that Guiliana the Panda woman on E! that he was going home to "make love" to Melania. Then, Patricia Arquette came in for an interview and she seemed either highly medicated or drunk and made a comment about how Hollywood people find TV people inferior. Then Sela Ward came on covered in feathers and was talking in an inflated Southern accent like she just downed a bottle of Wild Turkey. At this point my own Velvet Hammer kicked in and I'm not sure what is real or what I dreamed or if he's ever going to call me again.

The Riding the Bus With My Fiddler Podcast

Podcasting may be in the 14th minute, but we're gonna spend that damn last minute in style:

- a post-theatre photo shoot at Sardi's

- a full recap of Rosie O'Donnell's broadway Mitzvah

- Ipod Nano: A Sex Toy

- A British Invasion

- Basic Instinct - for the blind

It's all just too too exciting. Click the photo to download or listen.

Friday Catblog Starring MJ Cat

This is the final film in the MJ Cat Trilogy. Please enjoy Cat in Babylon and be sure to dontate to the Red Cross or the Salvation Army to support the victims of the Hurricane Katrina.

Watch the movie here.

RenKen Over!

Back in May I reported on what I felt was the Zellweger/Chesney marriage conspiracy. Today the couple announced that they are having their marriage annulled. So, in the time period that I've had one dish waiting to be washed in the sink, Rene Zellweger has lost forty pounds, met her husband, married him for four months and now is having the marriage annulled. Perhaps the stagnancy of my life isn't so bad after all.

Evolution Schmevolution

Last night the Daily Show finally covered the "intelligent design" debate occurring in Dover Area School District. Although I am from York, I did not attend Dover schools or did not associate with anyone who did. Being a Jew, I wasn't really part of the Creationist crowd during my formative years.

The Daily Show segment entitled titled "Evolution Schmevolution," asked "should your child's curriculum really be decided by experts in their respective fields?" Then they visited the Bronx Zoo and Dayton, Tennessee-site of the Scope Monkey Trials. It's too bad they didn't go to York. I promise to do my impression of a York/Dover accent on the next podcast.

I Want You in My House

It's been a long time since I've had a celebrity crush, but I'm totally hot for Hugh Laurie the star of the Fox TV show House. For those who haven't watched the show, the plot centers around an anti-social doctor who solves mysterious diseases with little bedside manner. He is also addicted to pain killers and walks with a limp due to some problem I haven't identified yet. When I was in college, I had this crush on this guy named Bruce King who was always unshaven and walked with a limp. My friends thought it was crazy that I loved Bruce so much. One time, I slept over in his room on his couch and ended up with a terrible case of noisy and smelly gas. When he woke up, he asked me without any sort of hesitation if there was anything he could do to help me with my "stomach situation." Needless to say, I was humiliated and embarrassed to pursue him any further.

Tyra Banks is One Crazy Bitch

As many of my personal friends know, Tyra Banks was unknowingly responsible for the demise of a brief romantic fling I had two years ago. I any case, it doesn't seem that Tyra is going to become the new Oprah. If you haven't seen this site or watched the show, don't miss it.

My Fantasy Football Team

All of my friends are participating in something called "Fantasy Football." There is this very cute guy who sits in the office across from me so I am trying to impress him by assembling my dream football team although I know nothing about Pro Football except players who might have appeared on the Love Boat or in a national commercial. Here's my dream team!

Tony Dorsett
Danny Marino
Mean Joe Green
Dick Butkus
Dave Rimington
William "the Refrigerator" Perry
Jason Seahorn
Joe Namath
Alge Crumpler
Alex Karras
Jim Marshall
Antwaan Randle El
Mike Ditka
Walter Payton
Lynn Swan
Fran Tarketon

The Washington Square Potcast

Rachel and Todd turn 21 on this podcast and you will learn...

- how to imagine no bush

- what every woman is reading

- what irks Todd and Rachel

- why babies should stay clear of Rachel's mom's dog

- beware of the band geek sucking on reeds


If you haven't already done it...
click here to subscribe to the podcast on ITUNES.

Or if you just want to hear it from here...
click here to download the podcast and listen.

Friday Cat Blog: Starring MJ Cat

Please enjoy the second part of the film trilogy starring MJ Cat. This week he stars in the acclaimed very short film Catnip Dreams.

Also, check the sidebar to enter the Beware of the Babylon Film festival with your own very very short "movie."

I Want To Talk To You

One of the things that upsets me the most in this world is when someone leaves a voicemail stating in a serious voice, "I want to talk to you." This kind of cryptic message is never good and it usually means that I don't want to talk to the person who left the message especially when I can't even figure out what they could want to talk to me about that could be confrontational. I just received such a message from a friend who told me to call her back and so, I called her back and she said that she couldn't talk. So, I asked her what she wanted to talk to me about and she sounded like she wanted to have some kind of serious conversation and said, "This is not something I want to say and then hang up." If you read this blog, don't ever do this to me as this is the kind of thing that makes me neurotic and paranoid.

10 Years Younger

Tonight I'm having dinner with my friend Mark Montano, the famous host of 10 Years Younger and a designer on While You Were Out. If you watch these shows, you can experience why I love Mark so much as a friend! If you don't watch, be sure to check him out on TLC. He is the only man that I ever met who ever actually made a sofa!

Goodbye, Little Buddy

I was sad to hear that Bob Denver, star of Gilligan's Island passed away today at the age of 70.

NBC Doesn't Care About Kanye West

If you haven't read or witnessed one of the most exciting, hilarious and surprising moments of television history, the Washington Post has a transcript of the scripted versus unscripted banter between Myers and West which took place during NBC's live hurricane relief concert on Friday night. Despite watching Kanye West ad lib while Mike Myers tried to stay composed and not laugh, I think my favorite part was when the camera ripped away from West and went to a very startled Chris Tucker standing by a refrigerator. Luckily, I taped the concert so I could watch the clip over and over again all weekend. I feel guilty for laughing my ass off during what was supposed to be a serious and bleak television program, but I found myself more entertained than I was for the Jerry Lewis telethon on Labor Day.

Catblog Friday: Starring MJ Cat

This week mark's the the first film of a triology I starred in over the past week. The first in the series, is a short film entitled Birds of Morton Street. The next two segments of the series will debut on this site over te next couple of weeks.

Also, please check out my friend Thor's cat movie site which also features me!

Hurricane Katrina

Today, I'd like to express my thoughts and prayers for those suffering from Hurricane Katrina.

Kate Bush is Alive!

I just received the following email regarding one of my favorite singers. The crazy thing is that I was actually pondering what happened to Kate last week.

KATE BUSH has announced details of her new album.

The singer will release the double-LP ’Aerial’ on November 7.

The record will mark the eccentric performer’s first since 1993’s ’The Red Shoes’.

’Aerial’ will be preceded by the single ’King Of The Mountain’ on October 24.

No live dates have been announced, though Bush has only toured once during her career, in 1979.

The Sounds Like a Frog Podcast

I'm late in posting this, but this week's Beware of the Babylon podcast is here! This week Todd and I discuss

-the life and death of the New York hot spot
-the sound effects of a wooden frog
-and...we go back in time to our most recent karaoke extravaganza!



ANNOUNCING THE BEWARE OF THE BABYLON FILM FESTIVAL!





for example...
CLICK HERE TO SEE RACHEL'S SHORT FILM

CLICK HERE TO SEE TODD'S SHORT FILM

Reader Response Survey Results

Here are the very interesting results to the survey conducted throughout the week. I'd like to thank the readers who responded.

1. Over 56% of respondents were men. I forgot to find out if they are straight or gay.
2. Over 81% of my respondents claim to know me personally. I guess those who don't know me, didn't feel comfortable filling out the survey.
3. Over 56% of respondents like reading about the men in my life unless it is about them. 6.3% don't like reading only like reading about the men in my life when it is about them. 12.5% claim to jerk off after reading this blog. I'm not sure what this all means.
4. 12.5% of respondents claim to have had romantic or physical relations with me while 33.5% are waiting to make their moves, but only 12.5% want to marry me. Hmmmm....Please let me know via comments if you are wanting to make a move or marry me. I need some positive reinforcement.
5. 87.5% of those that answered like cats while 68% listen to the podcast.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

The summer is almost over and I am still waiting for something exciting to fly by my window. It's been so hot that I haven't been able to walk outside on my leash as much as I like to! Have a great weekend and next week, I'll be back answering all your questions. Meow!