Otherwise known as "tadpoling," I discovered what I like to call "snacking" last night. I was explaining to my friend that I had a date with a man in his early 20s and she said, "Oh great...a snack!" After dating older men for the past couple of years and being burnt and confused by their complicated baggage, I have to confess, I enjoyed my evening with The Snack. I recommend to all you single women, find yourself a Snack for the holidays! If you don't overindulge, you might just fill up without gaining any unnecessary baggage weight. Here's why:
1. Most snacks don't have careers that take up too much of their time. They never really have to work late and if they do, they are not too tired to see your old ass.
2. Some Snacks live with their parents which I think might be better than a man actually being a parent. It's much easier to compete with parents, than with children.
3. Snacks like to go out and know of all the new places and secret parties. This can be fun and beats sitting home with you cat on Saturday night.
4. Snacks have A LOT of energy which can manifest itself in many pleasing and satisfying ways.
5. Snacks will text-message you how much they miss you even if they just saw you an hour ago.
6. Snacks think you are very cool and smart. They are in awe of your presence. They are not afraid to tell you this to your face.
7. Snacks have smooth skin and hard bodies.
8. You have the power in the relationship. This is a great remedy to help you forget the last man who sideswiped you and broke your heart.
9. Snacks are uncomplicated. They still have the optimism of youth rather than the pessimism that comes with an ex wife or a failed career. They are hopeful.
Warning: Don't rely on Snacks, as there is little chance, they will ever become a meal.