Last night at 1:30AM, I had an epiphany about why that book "He's Just Not that Into You" is such a phenomenon. Oprah rebroadcast her episode yesterday featuring the authors talking about the book. In any case, I finally understood the message of the title when Greg said to a woman waiting for a man to ask her out, "Don't Waste the Pretty." So, for 2005, I am going to make every effort to follow this advice. I'm a smart hot piece of ass, so from now on, I am not accepting any shit from immature male morons. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but for the first time, I am making one. IN 2005, I AM NOT GOING TO WASTE THE PRETTY. Here's how:
1. I will not wait for men to call me. Rather than sit by the phone, I will go out with Snacks and enjoy myself.
2. I will not ever let myself become a second-tier woman. I will not accept any dates unless they are made at least three business days in advance.
3. I will not accept or go on booty calls, unless I am the caller. If I do go on one, and the man is passed out from too much Wild Turkey and doesn't open the door, I will not accept any additional dates with him.
4. If he's too busy, I will immediately move on. Bicoastal men are now out of the question.
5. I will not go out with married men.
6. I will stay away from addicts.
7. I will follow my instincts. As Oprah said, "If you ever have doubt, don't do it."