Wednesday, April 13, 2005

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

The other day after I confessed I slipped and hurt myself in the shower, my boss became very concerned about my emergency support network. I thought about what I would do in the case of an emergency like this when perhaps I fall and cannot get up. I decided to purchase the Life Alert system. Although marketed towards seniors, Life Alert should be targeting the active single thirtysomething woman who lives alone.

Here's my marketing message for the new Life Support necklace which will liberate young women all over the world.

You never have to worry about dying alone with the new Life Support designed specifically for single women over the age of 30. Available in the hottest fashion shades, the Life Support necklace is the most functional new fashion accessory on the market. Not only can the Life Support summon the paramedics during a health emergency or accident, but the Life Support necklace can help you with all your female thirtysomething emergencies. Perhaps you come home slightly tipsy and feel as if you have to vomit. With life support, you can page your neighbor to come over to put you to bed. Perhaps you run into the guy you are dating and he's kissing another woman at a bar. Page your best friend to come to the scene for help immediately with the help of your Life Support necklace. Suppose your cat is sick and you can't find him anywhere in your apartment. Page your vet and the fire department with the Life Support necklace! We guarantee that as a young women you might fall, but with Life Support, we can always attempt to get you back up on your feet.

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