Monday, April 25, 2005

He Should Have Been Passovered or His Last Supper at My Place

On Saturday night, my friend and I hosted a very small Passover gathering which included sausage and matzoh and some Korean BBQ. One of our guests who kind of crashed our seder must have been possessed by the crazy spirit of Elijah. Be careful if you actually let Elijah into your next seder. The following is all true. I am not exaggerating or making any of this up. BE WARNED. ELIJAH IS A WACKO!

1. He will walk into the seder and disregard the glass of wine you left out for him. The first thing he will say is, "Where's my beer?"
2. He will introduce himself and then say, "I'm not really here for Passover. I'm just here to network." The reason Elijah crashes seders is to find a new job.
3. He will ask everyone in the room their salary. I guess Elijah is poor.
4. He will be rude to the waiters and throw a fit when he sees kids up past 9:00PM. This kind of attitude shows why so many Jewish families must have a "kids' table." They want to protect innocent children from the wrath of Elijah.
5. Elijah has no problem telling you he's not that he's not crazy about the food. Be careful what you serve to this nut!
6. Passover songs put Elijah over the edge. He will tell you that your rendition of "Chad Gadya" sucks and then he will visibly start shaking.

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