New Podcast Promo

We might not have a podcast this week, but we do have a new commercial! Check it out here!

http://libsyn.com/media/bewareofbabylon/bewarePROMO.mp3

Beware of the Babylon Podcast Update

Everyone keeps asking about this week's Beware of the Babylon podcast. Todd and I are taking a vacation this week and will resume our recording next week after the holiday. In the meantime, visit our site Beware of the Babylon and catch up on the ones that you may have missed. Or, check out our new group The Pod Squad and listen to some other independent podcasts coming out of NYC!

Smooth Cruise

I was pleased to learn today that the American Psychiatric Association released a statement against Tom Cruise's additional statements about psychotropic drugs to Matt Lauer on the Today Show. Tom Cruise should stop trying to control the minds of crazy people and concentrate on winning back the heart of his lost love Rob Thomas. Yesterday, I received email gossip that Tom Cruise actually was having an affair with Rob Thomas and was caught by Rob's wife Marisol. To cover up the affair, Tom paid off the Thomas, contracted Katie Holmes for 8 million dollars for five years and is jumping on couches to hide the fact that he went just a little bit crazy for Matchbox 20 singer Rob.

At first I was skeptical about this story, but I was once in a bar in the East Village in the late 90s where Rob Thomas rubbed against my boobs and chatted me up. Based on my own personal history and the kind of men that I usually attract, Rob Thomas could very likely be both secretly gay and crazy!

"It is irresponsible for Mr. Cruise to use his movie publicity tour to promote his own ideological views and deter people with mental illness from getting the care they need," said APA President Dr. Steven S. Sharfstein.

Over the past five years, the nation has more than doubled its investment in the study of the human brain and behavior, leading to a vastly expanded understanding of postpartum depression, bipolar disorder and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Much of this research has been conducted by the National Institutes of Health and the nation's leading academic institutions."

U.S. Newswire : Releases : "American Psychiatric Association Responds to Tom Cruise's Today Show Interview"

The Force Is Not With Me

Yesterday was a terrible day, although nothing really that terrible happened. I am still recovering and afraid to leave the house and answer the phone for a few days.

1. I had huge lapse in judgment and forwarded a short story via email that a friend of mine wrote. The friend that I sent it to responded NOT to me, but accidentally to the writer with the word "boring." Needless to say, this put me in a bad position and I had to call and apologize to the writer for forwarding on the story without approval and also convince him that I really did like the story myself (which I did.) I also owned up to my breach of judgment that I should never have shown it to someone else. My punishment is that he stated that he will cease sending me any juicy or confidential emails going forward, which blows, cause I love his emails and have a secret crush on him.

2. I had a disturbing conversation with a former fling where he accused me that I still have feelings for him. Frankly, I haven't seen or heard from him in months and have moved on, so I was caught by surprise by this bizarre accusation and told him that I was insulted by his assumption since he knew that my New Year's resolution was to Not Waste the Pretty, which includes him. I feel badly that this man is such a self-centered asshole because he lives close by and the chances of bumping into him are highly probable in the future.

3. After reloading my iPod for five days straight, I accidentally erased all the work I did during the phone conversation with #2. Needless to say, this was the final aggravation of long and upsetting day.

I Don't Do Lunch

I have to confess something to all of you men who ask me out to lunch on weekends or on my day off. I don't like meeting men for lunch. Here is why:

1. If I am not working, I usually stay up all night and sleep at least until noon the following day. Lunch for me is like breakfast and I never look so good in the morning. I also don't like worrying about waking up in time or hearing the phone ring to confirm the lunch date when I should be sleeping.
2. I never know what to wear to meet someone for lunch. I prefer dinner when the rules are more in place.
3. I don't mind meeting for lunch with old girlfriends or under the pure premise of business. I don't like romantic lunches, unless they are an extension of the dinner the previous evening.
4. Frankly, I'm slightly insulted when I'm asked for a weekend lunch rather than a weekend dinner. The man gives himself an "out" by planning lunch so that he can go onto his higher prioritized evening activity. I don't like being second choice.

This is Your Brain on Berry!

The Times reported today that scientists have researched the brain's chemical reaction to seeing celebrities and other images.

When scientists sampled brain cell activity in people who were scrutinizing dozens of pictures, they found some individual cells that reacted to a particular celebrity, landmark, animal or object.

In one case, a single cell was activated by different photos of Berry, including some in her ''Catwoman'' costume, a drawing of her and even the words, ''Halle Berry.''

The findings appear in a part of the brain that transforms what people perceive into what they'll eventually remember, said Dr. Itzhak Fried of the University of California, Los Angeles, a senior investigator on the project.

While all this scientific mumbo jumbo is confusing, you can see an actual diagram of my brain and the specfic celebrities, landmarks and animals that produce a chemical reaction. This kind of research makes me want to be a scientist!

Katie Holmes Timeline

Today Fox 411published a timeline of Katie Holmes' life as of the beginning of April to the present. This is one of the most fascinating pieces of journalism I have encountered in a long time. As I've said before, I've had a dish in the sink that still needs to washed in this short amount of time, while Katie has totally changed her life.

Here is Katie's timeline versus my own timeline:

April, 7th 2005:
Katie: moves to New York City and attends Fragrance Foundation's Fifi Event.
Babylon: I am still living in New York City and feeling on the fence about American Idol's Constantine.

April 11th, 2005:
Katie: Katie attends "Save the Music" concert. She has never met Cruise before.
Babylon: I hear a rumor that my ex's new girlfriend smells. This puts me a funk.

April 11th-April 27th:
Katie: Nobody spots Katie but rumor has it that she flew to Los Angeles to meet with Tom about a role in "Mission: Impossible 3" sometime during this period.
Babylon: I fall in the shower and attend the first meeting of the NYC Podcasting Association.

April 27th:
Katie: Katie reappears and announces she is Tom Cruise's lady. Her star power increased by three points.
Babylon: I'm devastated as Constantine is voted off Idol. The podcast appears in the Wall Street Journa. My star status increases by .5 pt.


The article also questions the period when Katie fires the great John Carabino as her manager during her April 11th-April 27 disappearance. For the most of the month of May, I've been bugging friends to call him directly and get the real scoop.

Freaking Out in Coney Island!

Yesterday, I made one of my dreams come true. Every since the mid-80s and the prominence of such great dancers as Shrimp and Shaba Doo (Breakin' 1984), I've had this secret desire to be a famous breakdancer. I noticed that a group of breakdancers were taking a break so I asked them if I could dance on their mat for a little bit on the Coney Island boardwalk. Little did I know that they were going to turn on the boombox to "Planet Rock" and clap around me as I did the robot and moonwalked in front of a gathering crowd of people.

The We Got Crabs Podcast

Believe it or not, Rachel and Todd actually recorded this week's podcast from outside Manhattan!

Coming to you more live than a freak-show carny is our WE GOT CRABS PODCAST recorded from Coney Island and Clemente's Crab House in Sheepshead Bay.

In this week's podcast you will learn:

* how to bump, bump, bump your ass off

* what happens when you put the mic in the earphone jack

* where to get bootleg copies of DVDs in Brooklyn

* how to speak up and ask for more crab legs

* CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST AND LISTEN! *

Cruise and Holmes get Engaged!

Someone actually emailed me and asked why I am obsessed with Katie Holmes? And my response is, how could I NOT be! I admire this woman. She has put aside all of personal beliefs, judgment, values and reputation to advance her career and bank account by agreeing to marry the publicity-crazy Scientology brainwashed Tom Cruise. I wish I could be that way in order to be more famous and make more money.

Cruise proposed to Holmes atop the Eiffel Tower and creepy Dakota Fanning was there to wish them all the best at Cruise's press conference to promote War of the Worlds. Yet, Tom and Katie go on to say that this entire relationship is NOT a publicity stunt!

And also, I'm willing to be patient to wait for the day when the entire romance/marriage goes to hell and Katie writes a tell-all book called, "What in the hell was I thinking?"

The CNN article ends with this statement:

Holmes said then that she was embracing Scientology -- Cruise's religion. The former star of television "Dawson's Creek" grew up with a poster of Cruise on her bedroom wall and has said she grew up wanting to marry him.

God, maybe this entire romance provides the hope for me that I can marry some of the men I had posters of on the wall as a teenager. Perhaps there is still a chance I'll be Mrs. Huey Lewis, Mrs. Robert Smith or Mrs. Daryl Hall. I now have a photo of Benicio del Toro on my fridge. Perhaps there's a chance for us!

Congrats to Katie and best wishes to Tom!

href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/17/cruise.holmes.ap/index.html">CNN.com - Cruise, Holmes engaged to marry - Jun 17, 2005

I'm being held hostage!

I'm being held hostage all day as I attend a workshop on how to influence WITHOUT authority. The goals is that I will learn to get people to do stuff for me because they WANT to, and not because they HAVE to.

I always take up any chance to receive any type of corporate brainwashing as it provides me with the opportunity to think less while achieving more. I'll be back on my next break to share my authority "score" with you.

Things More Shocking than the Jackson Case

While everyone is still discussing the verdict in the Michael Jackson case, I've been more shocked by the following information and think I need some Jesus Juice to calm down.

1. Katie Holmes is converting to Scientology and ADMITTED this during a press conference? What in the hell is she thinking? How long until she realizes she is totally playing Tom's fool?
2. Somebody I know had his eardrums "pop" today and blood and puss oozed out. This story was shocking.
3. This hot weather is more disturbing than the Jackson case.
4. While I was watching the verdict in a bar, there was a man there who admitted to being molested by his father as a child and when the TV showed Joe Jackson, the guy started screaming, "He's the devil!" This man's reaction to the case was by far more shocking than the case itself!

Jr. Miss Program to Close

As a former participant in the Jr. Miss program (it is not a pageant)and Spirit of Jr. Miss winner, I was saddened to hear the news today that the Junior Miss program is officially closing. Junior Miss not only taught me to "Be My Best Self," but also provided me probably the only time in my life where I will get to wear an expensive white beaded gown. Former Jr. Misses participants include luminaries such as Diane Sawyer, Deborah Norville, Julie Moran, Debra Messing and Kim Basinger. Below, is the official notification.

The board of directors of America's Junior Miss, a premier scholarship program for young women that has presented cash scholarship awards totaling more than $87.7 million, announced yesterday that the 48-year-old program's last day of operation will be Sept. 30.

AJM was a pioneer programthat had blazed a trail that helped raise awareness of the need for scholarship opportunities for young women. The board also said it believed that because AJM had been so successful in raising that awareness, many more such opportunities exist today. We are extremely proud of all AJM has done. It has accomplished its mission at an even greater level than was probably envisioned by its founders.

However, in recent years, the program has faced difficult circumstances and that AJM had been finding it increasingly difficult to attract and retain national sponsors and also had been unsuccessful in efforts to attract the interest of a major television network. Unfortunately, AJM without television means AJM without national sponsors,

The board said it will soon begin developing a plan for closing AJM that will allow the program to end in an orderly, dignified manner and that this year's AJM National Finals will be the last. TV viewers can watch the final night of competition live on Saturday, June 25, on WKRG-TV 5 and on Monday, June 27, when it is aired by PAX TV.

The Hot Sticky Sweet Podcast

This week in the podcast you WILL learn:

- all about the bathroom habits of Pulitzer prize winning author David McCullough

- what ever happened to Paula Cole

- what a kiss from a rose really feels like

- where to find the Madison Avenue of the West Village

* CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST AND LISTEN! *

MJ Cat Friday Catblog: National Adopt a Cat Month!

June is the official adopt-a-shelter-cat month. Here is a picture of my first day living in my new home. As you can see, I've fattened up a bit since then, but I have to confess, I love living in my comfortable apartment rather than the cold hard cage. I suggest for all of you who don't have your own pussy to go down to shelter or rescue mission and adopt a cat this month.

http://www.aspca.org/site/DocServer/9_Ways_to_Welcome_Your_Cat_Home_-_New_Adopter.pdf?docID=4743&AddInterest=1022

Goodbye Mr. C. :Schadenfreude

Today, a "great friend" of NYCBabylon was let go by the crazy brainwashed Katie Holmes. In the photo above, John Carrabino is pictured in the background talking on his cell phone most likely to Big Hands Meagan. I once tried to get John C. to represent me and turn me into a star like he did for Renee but he told me I had no talent.

Page Six reported this today.

KATIE SWINGS THE AX AGAIN

KATIE Holmes has made yet another change in her life. Just a week after replacing Brandt Joel of CAA as her agent with Tom Cruise's representatives at the same agency, Rick Nicita and Kevin Huvane, Holmes has ditched her longtime manager John Carrabino, who also reps Renée Zellweger. Carrabino didn't return calls, but another exec at his firm confirmed that Holmes "recently" left. Holmes' rep didn't know about the move when we called. Meanwhile, Cruise's ex-publicist, Pat Kingsley, is now experiencing Schadenfreude over his career meltdown. The studio cut Cruise's promotion schedule for "War of the Worlds" after he jumped up and down on Oprah Winfrey's couch like a chimpanzee and blurted his love for Holmes. And "Mission: Impossible 3" might be canceled because of Cruise's demands — he insisted on having a "Scientology tent" on the set. The Internet was abuzz that Kingsley — fired by Cruise last year and replaced with his sister, Lee Anne DeVette — must be gleeful. But close friends say no. "Pat is very worried and concerned for Tom," one pal said. "She has always loved and adored him as a good friend."

Words to the Wise

-"Something's wrong with somebody who isn't happy with the face that god gave you."-Strange man to my mother at the gas station as they discussed their theories on the outcome of the Michael Jackson trial.

My Elitist Classification Results

I just took a quiz classifying my elitist classification. My results are:


French pop Kid. You like to listen to Serge
Gainsbourg and you can actually understand what
he's saying. You prefer to go to sit at a cafe
discussing philosophy and art, and chances are
you're speaking in french, just to be
pretentious. Still, you've got great taste in
music, and it's okay to be pretentious about
it, because you know your cool and you could
careless if anyone else thinks so.


What type of indie elitist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

The We've Got Magic to Do Podcast!

THE WE'VE GOT MAGIC TO DO PODCAST

Break a leg! On the podcast this week, you will learn:

- What Todd and I did to get our asses kicked out of the Mercer

- How I spend my Saturday nights

- What kind of soup I really hate

- How we are SO golden monkeys for Liev and Mike

- How much I loved the Sith


* CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST AND LISTEN! *

Congratulations to Liev, My Golden Monkey

Earlier this year, Liev Schreiber proclaimed to be my "golden monkey." Although we rang in the new year together, Liev, however, seems to be having such a fantastic 2005 that perhaps he was wrong. I am actually his golden monkey. While we both have won awards for our work this year, he won the Tony while I won a basic corporate-based award. He is dating Naomi Watts while I sat home on Saturday night alone.

Sugar Magnolia Sunday

On this warm Sunday, every woman in New York City decided to wear her new bohemian Spring 2005 outfit. Long flowy skirts, sequined tunics, smocked emroidered sundresses and beaded necklaces crowded the streets making me feel as if I was on my way to a Dead show rather than to sun myself and read the Times weddings section on the Christopher Street Pier. Women were looking much more dirty than they were a year ago when they were wearing more civilized 50's inspired sundresses and circle skirts. I, too, was part of the fashion madness in my own smocked sundress which I know makes me look pregnant. I am embarrassed I've fallen prey to this ridiculous and unflattering trend.

Catblog Vacation by MJ Cat

We had to take a break from Friday catblogging. My person and I got caught up at BEA (Book Expo of America) and then we went to K-Mart to buy a brand new vacuum. The amount of dirt and fur picked up by the powerful new vacuum put my person into a terrible asthma/allergy attack and she had to take two Benedryl which made her pass out until today. As you know, I am smart, but my paws can't turn on the computer alone. See you next week for Ask MJ Cat!

Have You Met Miss Jones?

Someone asked me today if I prefer to formally addressed as "Ms." or "Miss." After careful consideration, I have concluded that I like to be formally addressed using as "Miss." I am clearly still single, never married and I am never invited anywhere with a guest. This marked single status grants me the privilege of proudly utilizing my "Miss" status. I am available and want everyone to know it. Why mask my single independence and sexuality in a cloud of mystery by using the "Ms." title? The title of "Ms." adds years to a woman's age. If I lived in France, I would want to be addressed as mademoiselle over madame.

Cruise Control Off

Many of my friends and business associates keep asking me "What the hell is wrong with Tom Cruise?" After reading this article in the Times, my theory has been confirmed. Tom Cruise's publicist (his sister Le Anne De Vette) needs to be fired. Paramount Pictures is considering taking away Mission Impossible III from Cruise due to his recent publicity fiasco which includes his overzealous love of Katie Holmes, jumping up and down on Oprah's couch and pretending to be a neurologist making judgment on Brooke Shields.

In reaction to his embarrassing Oprah appearance the article states:

Mr. Cruise's spokeswoman, his sister Lee Anne De Vette, said she had not heard anything negative after the "Oprah" appearance. "You're looking at someone who's genuinely very happy," she said. "The response we've gotten back is complete enthusiasm and exhilaration for his enthusiasm and exhilaration. He's a very happy person."

First of all, he has the potential to damage his career, lose roles and industry respect for his insane Scientology ramblings and teenager behavior. No good publicist would allow a client this type of career-damaging freedom.

On that note, I would NEVER hire my sister as my publicist. Your publicist should be someone who has never seen you naked, is entitled to money in your will or who is only a publicist riding on your own famous coattails.

Summer Goals 1985 and 2005

When I was a teenager, I used to write my "summer goals" at the end of the school year. I decided I think I need to do that again. Surprisingly, the goals are exactly the same while the methods of reaching them might have changed. Here are the goals circa 1985.

1. Get a new bikini that makes me look really cute.
2. Get a great tan.
3. Get passionately kissed by a guy that really likes me.
4. Go to a cool concert with my friends.
5. Play a lot of miniature golf.
6. Save some money to buy some new makeup.
7. Make my hair blonder.

The New Black

I just read in the LA Times that Prep School fiction is the "new black." For some reason, this statement just doesn't make sense to me. So, in the spirit of new summer trends, here is what I consider the new black for June 2005.

1. Merled fur is the new black.
2. Bo Bice is the new black.
3. Honest communication is the new black.
4. Pinching asses on the street while drunk is the new black.
5. Cold sores are the new black.