Friday, May 20, 2005

Ask MJ Cat: Friday Catblog

It's time for everyone's favorite expert MJ Cat to answer all your questions! MJ Cat just received his PhD in Cultural Studies from a top online university and continues studying at DeVry. He also has a MA in Cinema Studies, which according to the New York times is the "new M.B.A." MJ can answer questions on any topic from any human being.
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Dear MJ Cat: What the hell is up with John Bolton's mustache? It looks like he's snorting a rat or something. Since cats are experts at good grooming practices, what advice do you have for Mr. Bolton?--Barry @ enrevanche, New York, NY

Dear Barry: I take pride in my own whiskers although I burnt one in a candle last week. Who is John Bolton? Is he related to Michael Bolton? Those Boltons sure are cheeseballs.

Dear MJ Cat: Dear Max. A Brazilian friend of mine recently wrote: "To dream is to make plans. To live is to have courage to realize them." I've been suffering
from a lot of fear lately - fear of doing stuff I really want to do. Any
advice?-Scaredy Cat, New York, NY

Dear SC: As the cool cats say in Rio,"Tenha coragem. O desafio viver o sonho."

Dear MJ: What do you think of Chris Klein getting busted for drunk driving a few days after the press announcement that his ex-fiancee and Tom Cruise are dating? How does one deal with horrible break-ups, especially in the public eye?--DMB, Michigan

Dear DMB: There is no easy way to deal with a sudden upsetting breakup. When faced with man trauma, my person usually recoups at home and spends more time with me. I guess the answer is, it's always best to spend some quality time with your own pussy and stay away from the bottle.

Dear MJ: How do you stay regular? Zel Norm, NYC

Dear Zel: I watch my diet and eat food strong in protein and fiber. Also, don't eat too much cellophane cause that definitely stops me up.

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