Thanks, Todd

Catladies is the best new site!

I'm having a very busy and exhausting week. It's nice to find a new site that makes me laugh. Thanks, Catladies.com for this! I think I need to find a photo of me and Max now and reverse our heads.

Memorial Day

Things I forgot to remember on Memorial Day:

1. Suntan lotion
2. To call back Eileen
3. To feed Max this morning
4. A pack of tissues
5. That the massage place closed at 6
6. To turn off my alarm clock
7. That the 2-3 was running local

Socialite or Ghost?

I love perusing the party photos of nysocialdiary.com. Occassionally, I'm struck by the fashion, makeup and hair disasters socialites think they can get away with just because they're rich.

The Beware of Green Porno Cast!

Two months in the making,
this is our first ever completely digital
BEWARE OF THE BABYLON
recorded live on tape from Bryant Park!

Crisper, clearer, and digitally mastered topics include...

* Observations of a horny Isabella Rossellini

* The Babylon Summer Movie Oath.

* What constitutes a YP over an MP.

* Sex education mishaps that lead us to our adult lives.

* Occasional coughing from the overbearing NYC pollen count.

As alway, this and every BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded from iTunes here.

Or listen to our show at the office, when you should really be working....


powered by SEX

Velveteen Rabbits

I'm going this weekend to clean out the bedroom I spent the first half of my life living. As you can imagine, this room houses and stores all my childhood memories. I'm torn about what to pitch and what to store. Here are some items in question:
1. Casio Keyboard which I recorded many cassettes with my one-woman band Rachel Goes to Epcot Center.
2. Stuffed Animals with Names who were my friends during the turbulant 70s.
3. My prom corsage
4. Junior Miss and Prom Gowns which will I will never fit into again but were some really funky fashions back in the day.
5. Complete 80's New Wave Vinyl Collection (OK, I'm keeping this.)
6. Old 80's jewelry collection including palm tree earrings, lucite bangle bracelets and assorted vintage jewelry
7. Complete collection of Shakespeare and Dante
8. Old college papers about Dante and Shakespeare
9. Complete Donny and Marie stage set and dolls
10. Super 8 camera and projector.

xoxo

Not since the heyday of Melrose place, have I been as satisfied with a night time drama as I now am with Gossip Girl. Tonight's episode was hilarious and I won't give any spoilers except to say I HATE GEORGINA! She is the most evil character and her bad ways are making Chuck seem like an angel. The line tonight about making out with investment bankers at PJ Clarkes was especially hilarious.

First Dates

I have a lot to blog about but I can't resist telling the story that I actually was at dinner tonight eavesdropping on a couple on their first date and the couple will hopefully work out but they both made the following errors and were so bizarre that I have to write it all down. Here are some choice quotes.

"I have been depressed my entire life."-Man
"My friend is very protective of me. I make terrible choices in men."-Woman
"How long were you a Communist?"-Woman
"I was a Communist until I was ten."-Man
"England is boring."-Woman
"My first wife was a dancer from Paris. She was actually from a suburb outside of Paris. It wasn't a nice suburb."-Man
"Why did you leave her?"-Woman
"I was unhappy."-Man
"Do you have a roommate?"-Woman
"I live with my mother."-Man
Pause
"One day we came home and the chicken was gone."-Man

I also have to clarify that the couple's conversation was so compelling that me and my date didn't speak to each other and had to keep a straight face the entire dinner. When she went to the ladies room, I asked the man where they met and if it was indeed a first date, and he said yes. They met at Film Forum. I asked what film, and he said, "It was French."

Get With the Program

I've been an interactive geek now since 1991 when email was introduced to me in college. The first person I emailed was one other guy who signed up immediately as I did and we would email each other in the same computer room. When I attended NYU in the early 90's, I started stalking my classmates and fingering them via the PINE system. Then, I became addicted to message boards and became an online beauty expert actually quoted in Vogue Magazine in 1995 about my love for the Chanel nail polish color VAMP. I had my own site on Geocities and signed up for blogger immediately because it was easier to manage than Geocities. I created a podcast before iTunes even hosted them. I used to track down old boyfriends using Dogpile and I still won't date anyone unless I can Google him. My profile has been on social networks since the early inception of Classmates. I've made a career out of my addiction to the net without any formal training or a degree. My mother always says, "Rachel just loves the computer." So, my tolerance for those in the corporate world who don't understand the basics of how to navigate the internet is somewhat low, especially at large billion dollar corporations which are transferring funding to digital marketing initiatives because it's cheaper to acquire customers through these channels than through traditional advertising channels such as TV and print. I'm not bragging and believe me, my love of the "computer" has cost me dearly especially after the dotcom crash when I had to waitress for two years as I worked on my geocities site and looked for a new job on monster. People still think I work in IT and call me at least once a week to fix their computer for them and I'm always happy to help. Now, however, my loyalty to the net is finally paying off and my expertise is valued. So, please allow me the following courtesy when I invite you to a meeting to include your thoughts into any digital marketing opportunities.

1. If I invite you to a meeting with Google, don't wait until the end of the meeting to ask, "What is this this thing you call a link?"
2. Don't ask me to invent a new computer that turns into a mirror.
3. Don't think that every website is a destination site. Think about your business objectives as you brainstrom about online opportunities. Where are you driving your customers and what are you selling? How do you shop online? How do you search for information? Do you open every email you get that is not personal? Trust your own online behavior and realize others use the net in similar ways that you do.
4. Understand that we don't cut and paste things on the Web. We have to build sites and tools which takes time, money and resources.
5. Show me the money. You can build the most beautiful site but if you don't invest in driving traffic to it, it's a waste of time, money and effort.

Costume Institute GalaLiveblog!

Tonight is one of my favorite liveblogging events of the year--The Costume Institute Gala Benefit at the Met! The theme is "Superheroes and Fantasy" which has prompted some very strange outfit choices. I think I would have dressed at Catwoman if I was actually invited.



Hostess Anna Wintour dresses up as the Hulk!

I didn't know the Incredible Shrinking Woman counted as a fantasy or a super hero.

I'm not sure what they are going for here, but I have to give a shout out to Posh and Becks.

Like Eva Amurri, I often wonder how I'd also fit into my old prom gown.

Christina Ricci or Dyna Girl?

Isn't Giselle being paid in Euros now? She should have more money for fabric.

I don't have a clever vagina joke or any kind of crass joke Sarah Silverman would make about her own outfit. I do have to say that everyday on my way to work I walk pass Dress Barn and wonder who shops there. Now I know.

A Super Hero in her own right, MJ Blige looks just fine!

Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!

Nothing's Gonna Stop Him Now! Scientology Super Hero Tom Cruise drags his mannequin to the ball.

For those who missed my photo in Response Magazine, check me out here. We actually had our hair and makeup done for the shoot and as I modeled, I tried to take direction for Tyra and "say it with my eyes." Aren't my eyes saying, "I mean business, bitch!"

Social Networking Wars

Eyes Wide Shut

I've been spending time in an alternate reality where people don't work, have taxidermy clutter rooms and ampitheaters and actually live in this house. And, I could go live there in the future. What do you think I should do?

Blood on the Tracks

Deep grief is an emotion I don't wish upon even my worst enemy. Since my dear friend Teeks unexpectedly passed away last June, I was feeling dull, sad, in shock and uninspired. Perhaps it is spring, but the dark cloud in my heart is starting to lift and I'm beginning to feel a little more like myself again. And, it's strange how small things can bring you back. My new chair from Room and Board gave me a new throne to sit on. I moved my crap into storage and threw out old dirty crap. I have an awesome team working for me at my job. I'm hosting a Passover Seder on Sunday and actually feel like celebrating with my friends. I went on a date last week. I'm going to visit my old friend in Maine next week.

But the truth is, I haven't felt much like writing and keeping this blog has been difficult for me as it's hard to be funny when all one feels is pain, sadness and a deep sense of true mortality. It's Friday night and I just cleaned the kitchen and I'm sitting here now and listening to Bob Dylan's album Blood on the Tracks which is sad, painful and cathartic which has inspired to write this post. It's a wonder I still know how to breathe.

Best Cat Video Ever

Response Magazine

If you happen to be one of the very few who actually receive Respons Magazin, check out page 28 where you will see one hot serious bitch at work.

Bret Michael's Rock of Hair

So, Bret chose Ambre (yes, that's how the ho spells it) but most importantly, he reveals how he revealed some insight into his hair and bandanna on dlisted today. I wonder if he gets his hair done by Paves.

My hair is combined of my hair and the finest extensions Europe has to offer. I do the show without it on all the time and they wont film me. They are like, “Put your bandanna back on. It is your image.” It is my signature thing.

Rock of Love Finale!

OK, as a result of the TV strike, I somehow became addicted to Rock of Love on Vh1. Aside from watching all the hos compete for washed up Brett Michael's love, I can't get past what the fuck is wrong with Brett Michael's hair. Is it a wig held on by a bandanna? Is it plugs? Is he bald? Does he think it looks good? How does he watch it? By the way, I hope Daisy wins. I'd love the see the self-sabotaging crazy girl get her man.

Mid Century Cat

Mid Century Cat
Originally uploaded by redrachel

MJ Cat enjoys my brand new chair which really wasn't intended for his personal use.

Catblog Friday

I've had an emotional and very busy week. So, I'm finally sitting down and contemplating the meaning of life as I hang with MJ Cat. Then, after watching Oprah cry about the death of her beloved 13 year old dog Sophie, I realized that, for now, MJ Cat just may be the meaning of my life. When I came home tonight, I smelled a very strong gas smell in my building so instinctively I called 911 and packed up MJ in his cat carrier in case we had to evacuate. As the firemen came barrelling in, I felt that MJ is one the one steady character in my life. He waits for me to come home and when I wake up in the morning he rolls around and purrs in excitement. He's taught me to be a kinder and more responsible person. As I write this, he is curled up beside me with his little tabby head on my ankle. I don't mean to sound like a crazy cat lady, but I love MJ just as Oprah loved her dog. Our sympathies are with you, Oprah.