Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The NomCast Podcast

In honor of today's Oscar nominations we get all film school geeky.

Topics include:

• A full run down of The Noms.

• Dorothy's sexual journey to meet the Wizard.

• The most interesting thing Rachel learned in film school.

• The Selena - L.A.'s hottest car rental.

• Who are the Barrymores of our generation?

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Harvey and Bob

I just received my New York Magazine and there is an article about Harvey and Bob Weinstein. First of all, Bob looks terrible in the photo. Also, how did Harvey score such a hot new babe? I guess money can make any face handsome. I think my favorite part of the article is where Meryl Poster states that Harvey has "evolved." I do have to give them credit for Transamerica. God, it's been ten years since I left Miramax. That's a lifetime ago. I wonder how I've evolved.


For the past two weeks as part of my downward winter emotional spiral, I've been spending Saturday nights at Goth night at Luke and Leroys. (Needless to say, my outfits are more Go Gos than Goth.) In any case, there were a lot of freaky people totally jamming to the Cure, Smiths and Sisters of Mercy. One woman was all gothed out in a very very short skirt and my friend Kristen and I gasped as she bent over revealing that she was not wearing any panties. The scene was totally the opposite of Marquee or Bungalow and for some reason, I just can't get enough...

Thursday, January 26, 2006


Cops don't always make the best gentleman. If you are feeling kind and want to be nice to a cop and meet him for drinks to teach him how to podcast, be warned that he might display behaviour that is not becoming of a man who is supposed to be protecting you. He might drink too much, talk about "banging" the lady beside you at the bar and might be bizarrely obsessed with his cell phone. If you need to get a manicure, go to the salon rather than waste time with a horny cop.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Dance With Me

I just came home for a dance class where I danced next to the great Jane Krakowski. While Jane is not necessarily a household name, she is recognizable from her days on Ally McBeal. In any case, this was my first time at this class and to be frank, I'm a terrible dancer. I've always been a little heavy on my feet and have trouble following choreography. To make matters worse, we had to learn a routine to Tyra Banks' song Shake Your Body. For those of you who are long-term readers, you know how that song played a role in the breakup of one of my men in the past so hearing Shake Your Body always kind of pisses me off. The teacher of the class asked if anyone could name the singer and I was the only one who knew that it was Tyra. Then we had to break up into dance performing groups and it was just me, Jane and one other woman and I still couldn't get the steps down. When she found out it was just the three of us, she gave me a look which I couldn't quite interpret.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Most Depressing Day of the Year

Today is supposedly the most depressing day of the year. I've been having a good day, except I just fell flat on my ass in my apartment. I slipped on an old copy of Life and Style. I think I broke my toe so now I just might be depressed. I like a man that I have absolutely no chance with, so this could also be construed as a depressing situation. Max just bit me on the leg so that kind of bummed me out. I haven't been able to call Todd back so that is sad and I have engagements I'd rather not attend for the rest of the week. And to top it off, I need a manicure but don't have any fucking time to get to the salon. Now, I'm very depressed.

Tuesday Update

I haven't been able to write beause I've been overwhelmed with work. Well, overwhelmed isn't the proper word, but I've been busy. I haven't been so busy in a long time, but it feels good and satisfying to have so much on my mind and unfortunately, my plate.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Don't Cha Cast

Don't cha wish your podcast was raw like this?

Rachel and Todd wax poetic this week on...

• Globes all over the Golden Globes.

The End of the Spear - The Year's Hotest Gay Porno.

• How Margaret Thatcher ruined Rachel's love life.

• How the recorder is kinda not like a kazoo.

• Which waiter to stay away from at this week's location, the Westway Diner.

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Why Me?

Nancy Kerrigan has to be questioning her career status on the new Fox Show Skating with Celebrities. She's paired with former Full House Star Dave Coulier who was" just asked, "What would you rather have in your arms-a hockey stick or Nancy?" He didn't have an answer to the question.

Dave Coulier is becoming a professional celebreality presence after his appearance on the the Surreal Life. Actually, despite the fact that I'd never want to bug Coulier in the middle of dinner, I prefer him over Kerrigan who I never quite thought was that talented or interesting. My favorite skater of all time is, of course, Brian Boitano.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The Recorder

Due to the loss of my saxophone, I've been forced to play the recorder again. My cat hates it and attacks me as I play. I now have a scratch across my left cheek making me look like Marla Hanson. Please send me some sheet music so I can learn some songs.

Best Films of 2006

I wrote this weeks ago, but I had to see a couple more movies before my final posting. Here's my Top 10 of 2006.

1. The Queen
2. Borat
3. Tristam Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story
4. Volver
5. Marie Antoinette
6. A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
7. The Devil Wears Prada
8. Stranger Than Fiction
9. Children of Men
10. Babel

Best performances of the year:
Best Actress: Helen Mirren in the Queen
Best Actor: Sascha Baron Cohen in Borat
Supporting Actress: Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada
Supporting Actor: (Tie) Jackie Earl Haley in Little Children and Eddie Murphy in Dreamgirls

Monday, January 16, 2006

Big Black Hole Tuesday: Golden Globes Edition

After a long weekend, the Golden Globes have left me pondering some of these big questions on a Tuesday. Female stars such as Drew Barrymore, Mariah Carey and Queen Latifah, however, have proved why they call this awards show "The Globes."

1. Who wrote that crazy opening song to the tune of the Pussycat Doll's "Dontcha?" Am I imagining the lyric when Anthony Hopkins appeared--"Hannibal Lecter is licking his lips to taste the Cecil B?" That is so bad it's funny.
2. What's the deal with Kevin Bacon's hair? Who told him that it is OK to go out of the house looking like that? And does he have the same stylist as Tim Robbins?
3. Since when is it OK to show the side of your boobs or sagging boobs? What were Drew and Barrymore thinking?
4. Who keeps telling Penelope Cruz that she looks good with bit hair and that she can speak English?.
5. Who cares about Emmy Rossum?
6. Who has the most self esteem out of the following: George Clooney, Deborah Messing or Steven Speilberg?

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Ask MJ Cat: Friday Catblog

MJ Cat just earned his PhD in Cultural Studies from Trinity Online University. So, now MJ is able to answer questions and offer advice on any topic. Think of MJ Cat as a foxier furrier Dear Abby. From love advice to fashion tips to Oscar race predictions, MJ Cat has an answer for everything.
>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<

Dear MJ Cat: Should I get a new car?--Deirdre, NY NY

Dear D: I'm a city cat so I've never been in car. The only benefit of having a car in general for me would be so that I can easily travel across state lines. Cats aren't allowed on Amtrak or Greyhound. I wouldn't care what kind of car I had as long as it took me safely through the tunnel.

Dear MJ Cat: I work 12 hour days and can't seem to get to the gym. What should I do about my exercise regime?-J, New York, NY

Dear J: First of all, you need to structure your work time more efficiently so that your work/life balance is in check. If someone dangles the cat dancer in front of you, you don't always have to jump. One of the most highly effective habits of a successful cat is to spend some time each morning structuring and prioritizing both your work and your personal tasks and sticking to your plan. My other recommendation is to join the gym at work and setting time aside on your calendar to go three times per week.

Dear MJ: Do you like cat booties?--Brunettie, York, PA

Dear Brunettie: I don't play well with other felines, so I don't get to see a lot of cat ass.

Dear MJ: How do you stay regular? Zel Norm, NYC

Dear Zel: I watch my diet and eat food strong in protein and fiber. Also, don't eat too much cellophane cause that definitely stops me up.

Santino's Sarcasm

As much as I loved Austin Scarlett last year on Project Runway, I dislike Santino on the second season. I do think he's talented, but he's an asshole. Tonight he even insulted Michael Kors stating that the average Banana Republic shopper never heard of Kors because Kors has an "older" clientele. Kors should have kicked off his greasy-haired ass off the show on the spot. I hope that Daniel Vosovik wins. I miss Austin so I'm reposting my all-time favorite photo of him.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


Traditionally, January is my month of hibernation where I diet, experiment with my hair and watch tons of television. Thank god for Project Runway and American Idol. I am also looking forward to Fox's new reality show Skating with Celebrities which I predict may be one of the best TV shows EVER. Where else can you see Nancy Kerrigan double with Dave Coulier or Debbie Gibson get thrown on her face by Kurt Browning? Also, the host is the fantastic Scott Hamilton! I am so excited that I'm doing backflips here in my studio.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Sloppy Seconds Ain't My Style

Just when celebreality could not get any better, this week on Celebrity Fit Club Jeff Conaway aka Kenickie OD's on Benadryl and gets a lecture on prescription drug abuse from Chastity Bono. I'm not making this up. Watch it to believe it.

A Very Good Cat

I would like to dedicate today's post to Colin, my catblogging friend Jazz' cat. Losing a pet is a difficult so today give your pet a hug and a treat in memory of Colin who we know was "a very good cat."

The Astmaticast Podcast

Rachel and Todd catch their breath at L’Angolo and discuss the first week of 2006.

Topic include…

• Asthma—it’s not just for the weird kid anymore.

• Todd’s new beard—is it working?

• The Tale of Sweeney Rachel (and Todd)

• Will Rachel’s hot new brunette locks snag the Baldo?

• The best gefilte fish is your own gefilte fish.

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Drunk in the Candy Store

The New York Post reported today that a mom is suing Applebee's for getting her kid loaded on a Long Island Iced Tea. The mother became suspicious when the kid started rolling around on the table and licking the bread basket. She tasted his apple juice and found out it was a Long Island Iced Tea. Now the mother is claiming the kid is having terrifying nightmares where he is spinning and the calls them "Applebee's" nightmares.

When I was a kid about that age, I also loved alcoholic beverages. If I was ever in a bar no floater beer would go unturned and I put Creme de mente on my iced cream whenever it was offered. Last week at work, somebody brought in a entire case of those chocolate liquor-filled candies which I announced I used to love as a kid, much to everyone's shock.

Booze is like TV for kids. I don't go crazy over TV or drink that much anymore because I had my fill as a child.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

Max's New House
Originally uploaded by redrachel.
Here I am in my new cathouse. I'm still recovering from the New Year and am breaking out all over my little cat chin. I hate cat acne.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Asthma is the New Black

According to the New York Post, Lindsay Lohan celebrated the New Year with a hard-core asthma attack. For those of you who know me, in October I also had an asthma attack that sent me to the ER. I've been coughing ever since. I like to think that asthma is the new health trend problem taking over such outdated 90's illnesses as Epstein-Barr and manorexia. Asthma is the new "in-condition" of 2006. I am hoping this trend sparks such accessories as jewel-encrusted autohalers, Cartier nebulizers and Louis Vuitton leather Peak Flow meter belt bags. Perhaps people will start ODing on Singulair. I'm finally proud and happy to admit that I have asthma. Thanks, Lindsay.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

After the New Year, I always say that it's a downward spriral towards Valentine's Day. This year, I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and look forward to the following:

1. Martin Luther King Day: This is the day I like to eat dim sum and go to the movies.
2. Dieting. I fell off the wagon and am waiting for the compliments to come again.
3. American Idol keeps me going through the winter.
4. Awards Show Season

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year!

This past weekend was so fabulous and fun that I spent today making a movie to immortalize bringing in 2006 with my core karaoke crew Kristen, Ken and Alex. I hope your celebrations were as happy as ours.

To watch click here.