Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Bite It and Write It

I have been pigging out for a year straight at too many fancy restaraunts and bad take out food. As I start my new role and a new year, I'm back on the trusted Weight Watchers diet which always work WHEN I FOLLOW IT.  But, as I joined online yesterday to "bite it and write it," I was very confused because they changed how the points work. I mean, I was used to 19-23 points per day with 10 bonus points + activity. Now, I have like 35 points a day and 49 weekly and they don't count calories anymore and a glass of wine is now  4 points but what is a glass of vodka? And, I desperate need the online tool to keep track for me but I don't know how to count anything anymore.  So, you had to change the program because morons where choosing a pack of 100 pt. Oreos versus a banana? Actually, I saw people do that. This all better work. If I seem cranky the next few months it is because I'm living off egg whites, pickles and bananas.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Favorite Movies 2010

Since the Oscar nominations come out tomorrow, I wanted to release my list of favorte films of 2010. While many critics deliver their "best" lists, I always prefer to list my favorites as these are based on personal taste, experience of watching the film (a bad date can really ruin a movie) and their emotional impact on me. Timing is also crucial.

1. True Grit-Best line, "Well, that didn't pan out."
2. Black Swan-It's not a great movie but ever since I saw it, when I start going crazy from craving perfection, I now say, "I'm going Black Swan."
3. Somewhere-Chateau Marmont...need a I say more?
4. King's Speech-As my friend Todd always points out, I love any movie about a middle-aged man with a speech impediment (i.e. Sling Blade.) As my sister knows, I love the Queen Mother. Of course, I loved this movie.
5. Toy Story 3-Yes, I cried at the end and missed my old stuffed animals.
6. Another Year-As I get older, I like to see movies about old people.
7. Blue Valentine-I peed during the big nc-17 scence but it was still the saddest movie I saw all year. Is it me, or is Michelle Williams a great actress?
8. Social Network: Why in the hell am I not a billionaire?
9. Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work: Joan writes every joke on an index card and files it. Inspirational.
10. Exit Through the Gift Shop: Saw this right after my Spring obsession with Marina Abramovic at MOMA.

Now, get ready for the NOMS!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Team Kim Richards

I have to confess, I actually teared up during the finale of Housewives of Beverly Hills. I hate admitting that I watched it and all season and that I was mesmerized with Camille Grammer's plastic surgery. But, the real star of this reality series was Kim Richards and I'm on Team Kim and and think Kyle is the meanest and most vindictive person I have ever witnessed on reality TV. Kyle holds such unresolved resentment and bitterness toward her sister and her willingness to belittle Kim on national television  was inexcusable no matter what has happened between them throughout the years. I feel disgusted that BRAVO actually aired this (although it was gripping.) The relationships of sisters is complicated and sometimes messy, but despite the fights I have my sister, I would NEVER go into it on an Andy Cohen orchestrated show on BRAVO. After seeing this episode and crying at the severity at the end, I wanted to say I love my sister Ellen and no matter what happens between us, I WILL NEVER GO KYLE RICHARDS ON YOU and I know you will never leave me crying alone in the back of a limo on BRAVO. Love you, sis.

Friday, January 21, 2011

West Village Pool Scandal

As many of you know, I disappear to secret outdoor spaces and beaches during the summer. One of my trusted places of refuge on hot summmer days has always been the pool located above the Printing House. There I hang with former 70 teen idols, Playboy bunnies, old Village ladies and washed up rock stars. I develop a tan starts in mid-May that lasts through the end of September. My hair turns green and I swim laps with a kickboard. Along with my gyno, one of my longest relationships in NYC has been my committment to this space and the people who go there. Over the past couple of months, Equinox purchased the Printing House threatening my private sanctuary. They are stating they will "renovate" the pool, but I fear publicity and dues will rise and my glorious summers with Jimmy, Alice, Denize and even fat Carla will end. Goodbye, old friend. Even if they surround you in bamboo and create more seating, it just won't be the same. I suppose now I'll need to spend more time at the beach.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Things I Hated 2010

Things I Hated 2010
It is that time of the year when I list all the things I hated in 2010.
1. Winter hats shaped like animals.
2. The use of the word "meh" to describe a medicore emotion. I've hated this now for three years in a row.
3. The overuse of the non-word "impactful" in meetings.
4. When Max gets sick with bladder stones.
5. When men don't pick up the check. I realize this is old-fashioned but I love when he does.
6. When my colorist does not listen to me and follow my instructions.
7. Bad disgusting sandwiches at lunch meetings.
8. Community and Parks and Recreation...boring!
9. When Jenny my cleaning woman throws my shit away without asking.
10. The fact I missed a year of blogging due to corporate stress.
11. Members on task forces who do not do tasks.
12. Crying at work.
13. People who think it's OK to voice homophobic comments in front of me.
14. That period between 4-5PM when you need a taxi and you can't get a taxi.
15. When Justin Beiber tries to be cool
16. Willia H. Macy
17. mayo
18. ketchup
19. cheese
20. relish
21. Every fall when I realize moths have ruined 1/2 of my cashmere
22. Young girls who "Tweet" and think they are digital experts. Not true.
23. Sitting on the runway
24. Cold calls
25. 8AM meetings
26. Having my order messed up at a restaurant
27. Having to fire someone
28. Bras that don't fit after being "fitted"
29. Below freezing temps
30. Men who don't follow up.