Friday, December 30, 2005

The Year of the Podcast Podcast

It's the YEAR OF THE PODCAST, so Rachel and Todd are counting down their favorite moments of 2005 live on tape from the Grey Dog Cafe

On the show this week, Rachel and Todd discuss:

• why some cats like the movie Crash

• the Pros and Cons of the Brit.

• why Rachel wants to be taken the Candy Shop

• their favorite celebrity outbursts.

• and their love for their listeners.

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Best Films of 2005

Well, I've seen a billion movies and it's time for my annual list. 2005 was an excellent year for movies.

1. A History of Violence
2. Last Days
3. Squid and the Whale
4. Brokeback Mountain
5. Keane
6. The Intruder
7. In Her Shoes
8. Match Point
9. Millions
10. Batman Begins

Back on the WW Wagon

Well, after gaining 10lbs. during the holiday feeding frenzy, I'm back on the WW Extreme diet. Wish me luck. I want to be back to my fighting weight by Valentine's Day. Also, please excuse my crankiness as I'll be living off of pickles, celery and raw fish for the next 6 weeks.

Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

As a holiday treat, I thought you might enjoy some adolescent photos of me taken around 1985. One of my favorite after-school activities was dressing up in vintage 50's dresses and dancing around with stuffed animals or posing with rifles.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Holiday Greetings from the Upper Crust

Every holiday season I look forward to the "Best of" lists and the round-up of socialite holiday cards. Please provide your own comments as this collage overwhelms me again this year.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Happy Holidays from MJ Cat!

I'm spending the holidays alone but I want to wish all of you a happy holiday season full of good catnip, dangling toys and Pounce treats!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Men of 2005

This is a list of the best (not all) of the men I dated in 2005. These are the men who inspired me, drove me crazy, consumed me and pissed me off and, yet, made my year memorable. While my friends think I had a good year, I think it has been kind of boring compared to last year which was full of drunks, skunks and spankers. This year kicked off with Liev Schreiber toasting the New Year with me which I hoped would be a sign of a good year to come.

The Slow Zone (January-May)
The Slow Zone is a guy I met up with at the Zog's New Year's Eve party. I already met him before because he dated a friend of mine when they were in college and I knew him slightly from the comedy scene. He was very attentive at first. I even confessed to my friend that I met him and that things were heating up knowing this would upset her. In any case, he suddenly started making excuses about how he had to work all the time and he kept me hanging for months. Then, I found out that The Slow Zone is his actual nickname among women in New York City. If you meet the Slow Zone, be careful because he cannot commit.

Chris x 3 (Spring)
As things were slowing down with the Slow Zone, I found myself dating three guys named Chris. Although it was very confusing, I thought that perhaps the trinity of three men named Chris might symbolize the resurrection of my love life at that time.

The Widower (May-August)
The Widower was a really nice guy and I really liked him. Unfortunately, he found my blog and podcast and every conversation we ended up having became about how he didn't want to ever be mentioned in the blog or on the podcast. We ended up arguing about this on a nightly basis. I told him to stay away from my media because it was upsetting him so much. In any case, he got back together with an old girlfriend and according to my stats, I don't think he's reading this blog anymore.

The Italian Snack (November)
He's Italian, 23 years old and lives around the corner. What else do I need to explain? I have a feeling he'll text me in 2006.

The Brit (May-present)
Although we met in May, things didn't heat up until late summer. He's sometimes cranky and sometimes sweet, but he's the best man I've met and he puts up with all my shit and he is extremely supportive and encouraging in all my endeavors. Oh, and he sends me hand-painted postcards in the mail.

The Architect (January 2003-present)
Despite the fact that I haven't seen him in over a year, he got married and his new wife is pregnant, he is still around via email and IM. I told the Brit about him and he wants me to send the lascivious notes he sends me to his new wife. I, however, don't think that is such a good idea.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


The Transit System is shut down which means that I'm working from home today. This is kind of like a snow day for urban adults, but without the sledding! Of course, I found out there is that one goody-goody from work who rode his bike to the office and will probably be bragging out this for the rest of his life. All I can say, it's going to be a very cold ride home for him across the 59th Street Bridge. As for me, I just did a load of darks and am getting ready for a conference call. Max attacked my tuna sandwich so I had to make another one. I love the strike!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Do They Know It's Babylon Podcast

And in our world of plenty
This week, Todd celebrate the holidays (like all Jews do)at the Chinese restaurant.

"We can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world
At Christmas Time"

-Boy George

This week on the podcast we deck the halls, light the menorah and discuss

• our love/hate relationship with Santa

• how Judy Bloom ruined Christmas

• all about the holiday songs that matter

• this week's inappropriate fur joke

• just how "Chinese" is the Coffee ice-cream?

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Holiday Party Wrap-Up

I've been out every night at various holiday parties so I haven't been able to blog. Here's some highlights:

Best food: Shauna's mango-glazed ham
Most annoying guest: Broken-nosed photographer guy at Collette's party who tried to get all the girls to pose nude
Most Snacks: All the young media buyers at Google's client party
Worst Food: Company holiday party gave me a bad bad stomach the next day.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Most Awkward Moment of 2005

Tonight I got to an industry-related holiday party and try to make conversation with an account representative. I was running out of topics so I asked if someone I used to know still worked at his company. He then put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but he's dead." I didn't know what to say and there was this awkward five minute pause. Out of all the people that work there, why did I have to mention the one that died tragically young?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Match Point

Along with my love Benicio del Toro, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is my second top celebrity hunk. I don't understand why he's not a bigger star. Todd and I saw Match Point tonight and I Rhys-Meyers was as exciting and sexy as Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia. Anyway, today I went top the gyno and he found another lump in my breast and also told me that I better think about getting pregnant soon because I'm not getting any younger. Well, Benny or Johnny, if you are reading this, I'm ready to become the mother of your child. I'll even vote for you for best actor in our podcast awards!

The Gift that Never Gets Given

What does it mean when someone you care about DEMANDS that you do not buy him a gift? And what does it mean if you love buying gifts? I don't have an answer to this dilemma.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Vadar Had Jumped the Shark

My good friend Todd has pointed out what the best/scariest online promotion I have ever seen in all my years as a marketer. Burger King as teamed up with Star Wars to create a site where Darth Vadar can actually guess what you are thinking. It really works. Todd got it to guess vagina and I got it guess sphincter. Try it. You will be so amazed you will definitely be craving a whopper.

Friday, December 09, 2005

What I Want for Cat-mas: Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

Originally uploaded by redrachel.
The holidays are approaching so while you are out shopping, don't forget to buy something for your favorite cat. Here's my list for Santa:
1. New Alpine Cat Scratcher
2. Little furry mice
3. Catnip-filled cigars
4. Cat spa
5. Doritos

Thursday, December 08, 2005

The Untouchables

When I was in college, there was this group of untouchable boys who would leave me kind of tongue-tied and nervous whenever I had to interact with them. One of the members of this group was a guy named John McCouch who now plays a hot stud on a soap opera. John was my partner in dance class so he introduced me to some of his "untouchable" hot friends. John had this good friend named Casey who was in an English class of mine. Whenever I had to interact with Casey, I was immediately reduced to my adolescent state as Casey always had the prettiest and most sophisticated girlfriends on campus. At the same time, Casey always had time to say hello to me which I interpreted as pity.

Well, tonight, after 15 yrs. of unrequited love and forgotten fantasy, I ended up actually having dinner and drinks with Casey and was disturbed when I realized that he's actually a nice, approachable and decent guy. I'm mad at myself for being such a low self-esteemed moron when I was 19 yrs. old. Casey is on his second wife, so perhaps if and when he's ready for his third, I will need to make my intentions known.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Things I Hated 2005

It is that time of the year when I list all the things I hated in 2005. For last year's list, you can click here.

1. Tyra Banks. I'm sick of her and wish she and wish she would just disappear.
2. Hal Spark's commentary on VH-1 shows. He's not funny and he talks too much and I dread seeing him on TV.
3. Skinny celebrities going out in fat suits to see what it's like to be treated as a fake fat person.
4. When men I like get too tied up with their work to call me daily.
5. Danny Bonnaduce and Christopher Knight. I hated them then and I hate them now.
6. My doctor. He's not helping me get over this bad cough and I can't even get an appointment with him.
5. Max (my cat) biting me on the calf when he doesn't want me to leave in the morning.
6. Dieting. It still does and will always suck.
7. TomKat, but everyone kind of hates them. I just feel very sad because I used to like Tom.
8. I am very upset that my local laundromat has closed down and I have nowhere close to go to do my darks. I hate this situation and I hate the mean man who runs the place I now go to on Carmine Street.
9. Running out of toilet paper
10. Current wives of ex-boyfriends
11. I hate it when I ask for a raise at work and I'm told to get another job and they can match it. Why do companies play that game? It just seems so stupid.
12. I hate the jeans section at Bloomingdales. It is too overwhelming.
13. I hate growing out my hair.
14. I hate waiting at the nail salon.
15. Rain. I hate it when it rains.
16. I hate being invited to weddings without a date.
17. I hate cleaning the bathroom.
18. Smelly homeless people on the subway
19. The customer service people for Sprint PCS
20. Sunburns
21. Itchy feet
22. Paris Hilton and all the gossip that surrounds her. It's boring now.
23. mayo
24. ketchup
25. cheese
26. relish
27. I hate that Clinique has discontinued Gentle Light makeup.
28. I hate when Todd forgets the proper equipment to record the podcast and we have to use his digital camera.
29. I hated working in Hoboken, but I took care of that.
30. I hate when my friends don't live up to their potential and don't take risks to change their lives.
31. I hate being single when I'm sick. I don't have anyone to clean up the puke or make me soup.
32. I hate Mark McGrath as a host on Access Hollywood.
33. I hate when my leg cramps at the movies.
34. The way my cat won't eat out of the bowl and only food from off the floor
35. cab motion sickness
36. I hate finding out someone I like has a substance abuse problem and I was too stupid to know it.
37. Buying my own drinks.
38. I hate worrying about terrorist attacks.
39. 9:00AM Monday morning meetings.
40. Current celebrity perfumes including the stinky ones by Britney Spears and Sarah Jessica Parker.
41. Pet abuse
42. People taking credit for other people's works.
43. People who use big words in order to appear smart, but really talk straight out of their asses.
44. Inefficient clerks at check-out counters
45. Dick Cheney
46. I hate leaving Max alone by himself when I go away.
47. I hate when my iPod crashes and the fear that I can instantly lose days and days of downloading.
48. I hate the cost of good bras.
49. I hate visiting people. My friends are starting to complain but I prefer to be in my own town in my apartment.
50. Allergies and asthma

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The Lion, the Witch and the Podcast...

A game of hide-and-go-seek takes Rachel and Todd on a trip way beyond R. Kelly's closet and into a world beyond your imagination.

Highlights include:

• Narnia - It's E.T. good.

• She bops a we bop

• Billy Joel's Italian secret

• Fear the glockenspiel, love the skin flute

• Peta approved podcast procedure

or use ITunes' new podcast feature to subscribe to all the podcasts
(just search for Beware of the Babylon and subscribe)

Friday, December 02, 2005

Catblog Friday: Tabby Stowaway is Reunited with Her Person!

MJ Cat is busy working on his holiday cards, but he wanted to let you all know that is cousin Emily was reunited with her person after her ordeal where she ran away from home and stowed away for three weeks in a shipping container headed to France.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

These Boots Are Made for Walking

It's that time of the year where mid-tier department stores like Macy's and Lord & Taylor conduct their annual holiday friends and family sales. I never thought I'd ever say this, but I am Friends-and-Familied out. Everything is starting to look the same from year to year and low-rent cashmere still pills even with the additional 20% off the 40% sale price. I have decided these stores must repeat these big huge sales so you can replace all the crap that either got worn out or was too trendy from the year before. The only thing I saw that I REALLY wanted was not on sale and those were the Tara Subkoff for Easy Spirit boots. I just can't justify or afford paying almost $500 for Easy Spirit shoes. If, however, you are reading this and you are from another country and DO NOT know what to buy me for Xmas, I am a size 37.5 or 38 and would also love the fur scarf at Bergdorf Goodman. (You know who you are!)