Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Men of 2005

This is a list of the best (not all) of the men I dated in 2005. These are the men who inspired me, drove me crazy, consumed me and pissed me off and, yet, made my year memorable. While my friends think I had a good year, I think it has been kind of boring compared to last year which was full of drunks, skunks and spankers. This year kicked off with Liev Schreiber toasting the New Year with me which I hoped would be a sign of a good year to come.

The Slow Zone (January-May)
The Slow Zone is a guy I met up with at the Zog's New Year's Eve party. I already met him before because he dated a friend of mine when they were in college and I knew him slightly from the comedy scene. He was very attentive at first. I even confessed to my friend that I met him and that things were heating up knowing this would upset her. In any case, he suddenly started making excuses about how he had to work all the time and he kept me hanging for months. Then, I found out that The Slow Zone is his actual nickname among women in New York City. If you meet the Slow Zone, be careful because he cannot commit.

Chris x 3 (Spring)
As things were slowing down with the Slow Zone, I found myself dating three guys named Chris. Although it was very confusing, I thought that perhaps the trinity of three men named Chris might symbolize the resurrection of my love life at that time.

The Widower (May-August)
The Widower was a really nice guy and I really liked him. Unfortunately, he found my blog and podcast and every conversation we ended up having became about how he didn't want to ever be mentioned in the blog or on the podcast. We ended up arguing about this on a nightly basis. I told him to stay away from my media because it was upsetting him so much. In any case, he got back together with an old girlfriend and according to my stats, I don't think he's reading this blog anymore.

The Italian Snack (November)
He's Italian, 23 years old and lives around the corner. What else do I need to explain? I have a feeling he'll text me in 2006.

The Brit (May-present)
Although we met in May, things didn't heat up until late summer. He's sometimes cranky and sometimes sweet, but he's the best man I've met and he puts up with all my shit and he is extremely supportive and encouraging in all my endeavors. Oh, and he sends me hand-painted postcards in the mail.

The Architect (January 2003-present)
Despite the fact that I haven't seen him in over a year, he got married and his new wife is pregnant, he is still around via email and IM. I told the Brit about him and he wants me to send the lascivious notes he sends me to his new wife. I, however, don't think that is such a good idea.

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