Memorials for Memorial Day

I'm heading to D.C. to hang out and do the same stuff I do in N.Y.C. but just in a different location. I, however, will go to visit Abe cause this is my fave memorial. Nothing says Memorial Day like making a pilgrimage to your favorite memorials! I never tire of the Lincoln Memorial. I'll also make a stop in Commander Salamander which was my favorite store in the 80s.

Blogger Relations

Last week I completed an interview about blogger relations for a company that sends white papers to agencies. You just may be reading this blog because you may have seen the URL in this document where I was listed as a blogging expert. I, however, thought it was ironic and hilarious that a senior leader from the company that interviewed me called me today with a "problem" about how the white papers were distributed to their clients and that the other bloggers in the study are pissed. He also pointed out in the phone message if I personally have any concerns about my own reputation being tarnished for being associated with this document that I should call him back and he would explain what happened. I did not call him back as I really have no reputation to tarnish.

I, however, would like to point out that this entire episode ironically is an example of BAD BLOGGER relations since I'm now blogging and making fun of this company. This is not positive PR for a PR company.

Rosie vs. Elizabeth

This is some A+ TV. I actually feel for Rosie. I work with someone who operates like Hasselback and it's tough.

Chuck it

Chuck it
Originally uploaded by zinegrrl.

xoxoanp.com demonstrates her own bad panties. Girls, this weekend throw away your skanky drawers. Let's start the summer in great fitting new undergarments! Old panties can ruin your day!

Girls Prefer Ugly Guys!

According to this article the majority of women prefer ugly old men. I, however am still a sucker for a pretty face who is not boring but these dudes are hard to find.

Bad Panties

There is nothing that screw up your day worse than wearing a bad pair of underwear. I vow for Memorial Day that I'm going to throw away all my bad underpants, bras and nightware. I'm starting the summer with a fresh ass.

The Bachelor Finale

I have to confess. I've been watching the Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman season finale. Tessa's mother lives in my hometown York and Andy is from Lancaster so I somehow got sucked into the cheesiest two hours of my television watching life.

Ancient Chinese Secrets

I must confess that I love finding new places for massages, manicures and facials run by Chinese immigrants. Not only are their prices CHEAP, but I've received much better services than I have at much more posh places such as Bliss, Equinox Spa and other top-rated salons. I can't link to the Web sites for these places because they don't have any but I'll fill you in on two of my favorite secret places.

Lotus Salon--This is located on West 8th Street and 6th Avenue across from the Barnes and Noble and above the Gray's Papaya hot dog stand. Aside from their $20 mani/pedi special, they give the best facial I've ever had. I have very sensitive skin and easily break out. I once left Bliss with cysts all over my face. When I leave Lotus, my skin is glowning and my blackheads are extracted. While you have to deal with the subtle aroma of hotdogs and lack of privacy, the final result is worth it. Ask for Mabel the owner and get the Salon Special facial for $65 which includes neck and shoulder massage.
Chinese Secret Massage--This is not the name of the place but it is located on Christopher Street between 6th and 7th Avenues down the block from the pet store. They have these little rooms sectioned off by curtains. The guys massaging runs into one another through the curtains and when they massage your feet they sit on a chair outside of the curtain. I get naked but always keep my underpants on. While this all sounds crazy, these guys are massage magicians. Go in and tell them your ailments and with some simple pressure techniques, they have stopped allergy attacks, cured sinus infections and cured blindess and all for the cost of about $50/hour. Rudy is my favorite.

Moment of Clarity

Today, I had a psychological breakthrough. I have a man in my life that I care very much about and today when we were on the phone while I was at work and I started bitching at him for being cranky. He replied, "I don't always have to be happy for you." He stated this in a nonabrasive manner as pure fact. I realized a few moments later that he's absolutely right. Neither he nor anyone else in my life has to be happy for me all the time and if someone is unhappy or in a bad mood, I shouldn't always take it personally. It's just not about me. I shouldn't put pressure on my relationships to perform for me. This all sounds very obvious but I think this thought pattern has hindered many relationships throughout my life. So, thank you, Teeks. I adore you even if you are a cranky pain-in-the-ass sometimes.

I Love New York

This shouldn't make me laugh, but it does.

Year of the Cat

People often tease me about how much I love my cat Maximillian Joseph. As a 30-something broad living along with her tabby, I realize that I'm a bit a social cliche. Last weekend, I saw the movie Year of the Dog which has really made me think about my relationship to my pet. Molly Shannon's character falls apart after her pet beagle unexpectedly dies. After this happens, she goes through a period of self-discovery accepting that her strong passion for her dogs and her committment to animal rights does not make her crazy, but defines her identity and gives her life purpose. Not all of us have the character to become dutiful wives or caring mothers or rich CEO's. Some of us define ourselves and are content as animal nuts and if our pets can provide us self-esteem, love, happiness and companionship, what is wrong or crazy about that? Plus, just look at Max's handsome face. Meow.

6 Degrees In York

My hometown local paper the York Daily Record has a hilarious new feature where people write in how they are "6 degrees" away from knowing a famous person. I think this is hilarious since I'm from York and actually could serve as a conduit to other Yorkers who know me since I actually know and have met many famous people. Some unsuspecting Yorkers who know me would be shocked to learn that they are only two degrees away from a variety of celebrities such as Russell Simmons, Madonna, Jane Krawkowski, Billy Baldwin, Johnny Rotten and the Zog.

Check this article out. It is hilarious.

Spring Awakening Sweeps Tony Noms!

Spring Awakening, the best musical I saw this season, garnered 11 Tony noms! I love that Broadway is recognizing this great show. If you come to NYC, run and don't walk to see this show. The music is fantastic.

Reality Really Bites!

Remember when Ethan was hot? I do, especially that fateful night at Wetlands. I suppose we were both younger and cuter then.

Dear White Corporate Male America

One of the archaic cultural elements of working in corporate America is that there are still men in charge who think using sports metaphors (especially baseball and football terms) in large team meetings is an appropriate way to get their team excited. For example, a headline to a page in a presentation might say "Hit a Grand Slam" or he might mention his son's Little League team's strategy, or he might make a joke out of some sports scores. (I can't even quote an example because I tune out to this kind of bullshit.) I find this kind of white male rhetoric exclusive and sexist and it really doesn't motivate me or pump me up to succeed. While I appreciate the person in question loves himself some team spots, I also think consistently using sports metaphors to motivate a diverse group of people would be as arbitrary as me leading a team using my love of cats.

Here are some examples of how arbitrary this kind of rhetoric can be:

1. Don't Be Pussies: Facilitating Change
2. Catch that Mouse! Get 10 million accounts!
3. Get Out Your Scratching Posts: Annual Review Guidelines
4. Catnip Crazy: Getting Feedback from Your Boss
5. Your Jacobson's Organ: Sniffing Out New Trends
6. Cleaning Out the Litterbox: Audit Kickoff!

See how crazy that sounds? I, however, am smart enough to know that some people hate cats and people would think I was kind of crazy and wonder why in the hell they worked for a company that used this kind of crazy cat talk.

Christopher Just Kicked It

I can't fucking believe this.

Babylonian Idol Podcast-The Final Four

THIS WEEK ON BABYLONIAN IDOL
WE'RE DOWN TO THE FINAL FOUR!

Experience the talented Todd, Rachel, Mr. T, and the return of Barry Bellenbogen. Don't forget to vote at BewareOfTheBabylon.com

OTHER STAR-MAKING TOPICS INCLUDE:

* the ghost of dylan thomas

* sweet & vicious rumours about british royalty

* how we both once got a little hasselhoff

* just for the sponsorship of it, diet coke

* how to become more "global"

* what to do when your pussy gets wet

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

OR, just listen right here and now with the audio player below...


powered by ODEO

Jane Rules

Is it me, or does Jane Fonda look the best out of these three?

Big Black Hole Tuesday

Tuesday is the worst day of the week. As usual, today sucked like all other days.

1. I woke up with a killer headache.
2. The final four on American Idol all suck.
3. I'm fucking starving after 100% committing back to Weight Watchers.
4. All my friends at work quit and I don't have any more good friends at the office.
5. I have nothing exciting to blog about.
6. MJ Cat just fell in the tub and then as revenge bit me.

Costume Institute Gala Red Carpet Arrivals

Next to the Oscars, the Costume Institute Gala at the Met has become one of my favorite annual fashion events. This year, however, the event celebrating Poiret: King of Fashion was more of an actual costume party than a fashion show. Celebrities dressed up as gorillas, other celebrities, tin foil, and former first ladies as they crowded the red carpet. Here's some highlights:


Parker Posey dressed up as Cat Scratch Fever.


Is that Amanda Lepore? No, it's Jessica Simpson!

Jennifer Garner as former first lady Nancy Reagan.

Mary-Kate Olsen dressed up in a classic gorilla suit.

Renee Zellweger dressed up as a tube of toothpaste.

Christina Ricci went as Terri Hatcher.

Chloe Sevigny is a magical leprichan.

Kelly Ripa dressed up a fake-baked TV star.

Jennifer Connelly went as Reynolds Wrap.

Cameron Diaz dressed up like a movie star.

Cate Blanchett dressed as the greatest puppet of all time-Madame!

Who is that robot with Marc Anthony?

Julianne Moore dressed up as Sienna Miller dressed up as Edie Sedgwick.

Paris Hilton Sentenced to Prison!

I usually don't care about Paris Hilton gossip but I just learned that the self-entitled heiress is going to jail for breaking her parole. I love it when celebs who think they are above the law go to prison.

Hasselhoff is the New Baldwin

The Beware of the Baldwincast

The rude and thoughtless little pigs of podcasting return in this very special podcast focusing on the future, but also kind of a little on the past.

This week's angst-ridden podcast also includes...

• thoughts on our need for a DJ name

• how France made Todd Alec Baldwin deficient

• quality time with crazy right wing Rachel

• Bronski Beat sings the latest Jock Jams

• what The Sopranos has in common with Melrose Place

• marketing buzzword mad-libs for all ages

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

OR, just listen right here and now with the audio player below...

Tribeca Film Festival Update

Tonight I attended a BAFTA reception at the Soho House in honor of British filmmakers showing at the Tribeca film festival. I haven't been to the "Ho-Ho" house in years but despite the fact that (as usual) Todd bagged going to BAFTA with me, I put on a new Spring outfit and went all by myself. Within the first ten minutes, I made a new friend named Wendy who works at WE TV. The only celeb we spotted was Kim Catrall. Jane Rosenthal was also there but Jane is not a celeb.

The most interesting part of the evening is that I actually ran into someone in from LA that I met during that crazy party I went to last fall in LA. If you read that post, you can see how traumatic that evening was for me. So, I said to him, "It's surprising to see you" and he replied, "I'm actually not surprised to see you. You have a blog." What the hell does that mean?

Rules of the Pool

I just started swimming as part of my fitness routine and there are all these rules of the pool. I'm trying to figure out if the pool rules are a metaphor for real life rules. I'm learning these rules by making mistakes or by having the lifeguard yell at me for breaking them.

1. Don't swim in the fast lane if you really want to swim slowly. It's not a race.
2. Make sure all your hair is tucked into the cap or you will get in trouble.
3. Don't assume you will be rotating lanes. You may just be asked to swim in the same one.
4. Make sure to breathe.
5. Old goggles are not as clear as new ones.
6. Make sure to doll up after your swim. You might run into someone on the way home.

Gemma Massot: Where in the hell are you?

The woman on the right used to be my very close friend and ward named Gemma Massot. I would like to get back in touch with her. If any of you can find her or have her information, please contact me! I miss her!

Flirt Cosmetics

Vanessa Manilo aka Nick Lachey's girlfriend unveiled her new line of cosmetics today. Despite the fact that I can't imagine that Manilo's brand is worthy of a cosmetic licensing deal, I'm curious why all of Lachey's broads are forced to whore themselves to "create" their own cosmetic lines. Remember Jessica Simpson's failed of Dessert products which you could lick off your woman which was first sold as high-end at Sephora and then low-end at Walmart and then went out of business? Does Lachey have some kind of stock in some lipstick producing factory? Please explain this to me.

Dutch

To all you suitors out there, I hate going dutch. Either you pay or I pay, but going dutch is just not sexy and you lose any chance of hitting even first base after splitting the check, so don't even try.

Thumbs Up, Roger!

For months, I've been wondering where Roger Ebert has been hiding. Ebert has always been one of my favorite popular film critics. Roger Ebert has suffered a long bout recoving from salivary gland cancer and due to some unsuccessful operations he has lost his ability to speak. Roger, I don't care what you look like! I look forward to reading more of your reviews soon! Read his touching story in the Chicago Sun Times here.

Frenemies in the News

Here's a roundup of my friends and enemies in current news:
1. My former rich employer sues Bronfman for $100million and accuses him of being stupid. Bronfman accues Snyder of being a "hanger on." I'm not sure who to believe but I hope this suit isn't costing me any tax dollars.
2. Mrs. Seinfeld won't comment on what she has or what doesn't have. I have no comment about this either.
3. Russel Simmons demands "no mo hos."

New Beast in Babylon

A woman in my 30's, I'm constantly receiving endless birth announcements from my friends having human babies. I, however, would like to salute the nontraditional new members into the nycbabylon family. These cats, dogs, horses, fish and other beasts continue to bring joy and purpose into the lives of my fabulous single friends. For this reason, I'd like to congratulate my dear friend Deirdre on the arrival of her new beast, Ryley Horse Silver.

Don't Waste the Pretty

Back in 2005, I was on a mission to "not waste the pretty." Somewhere since this period, I've lost sight of my own mission. After recent layoffs at work, my good pal leaving the bank, and a recent selection of bad dates, I decided to get back on track with my mission statement. From this day forward, I WILL NOT WASTE THE PRETTY.

What does this mean? This means that I alone am responsible for my happiness. If men, work and friends are not providing me with what I need to be happy, I will make strong efforts to express these needs in order to resolve and change the situation. This effort, in turn, will make myself accountable again for my own success and happiness.

So, heads up. I'm back.

I'm pretty. Don't fuck with me.

Sign of the Whippet

Many people know that 4 leaf clovers or shooting stars can be a sign of good luck, but very few know about the Magical Sign of the Whippet. The more whippets you spot within shorter period of time, the more luck you will have for the following day and week. Today I spotted 3 whippets which means this should be an excellent week.

Shear Genius Expose!

We're only into the second week, but I had an insider's tip about Rene Fris, the Tim Gunn wanna be on Bravo's new reality series Shear Genius. The bio includes the following information. My tipster also commented on the Bravo site, but his post was removed! The Fris coverup is becoming one of the greatest scams in reality TV show history!

Fris' accolades have included: Head Stylist at Elizabeth Arden's
Red Door
Salon at Saks 5th Avenue, Celebrity Stylist for John Frieda Salons,
Grooming
Specialist on the TV series “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” in
Europe,
author of two best selling men's and women's grooming books, owner
of an
internationally acclaimed product line bearing his name, and a
successful
modeling career with the Wilhelmina Modeling Agency. He has shaped the careers
of hundreds of stylists, and the list of celebrities and
models that have
passed through his doors is endless

.

According to my source, this claim above is a complete
lie. Fris was actually fired from John Frieda for not bringing in clients, let
alone celebrities. Also, since when is Saks considered a celebrity salon? If you
look at Fris' personal site, his editorial work is mediocre at best. Since when
is Euroman a high-fashion hair magazine? As for the products, if they are not at
Ricky's then they don't exist.

I'm Safe

I'm safe but don't really want to discuss it.

Pink Wednesday

So, tomorrow is the day anywhere from 15,000-45,000 are getting pink slipped at the bank and I still fear I could be one of them. If I'm safe, tomorrow is still going to suck because there is nothing worse than working in corporate America and seeing people lose their jobs. During the dot com bust, I was layed off TWICE which marked a terrible period emotionally, physically and financially for me and I would hate for me or anyone else to face the challenges of searching for a good job while making ends meet at a demeaning part-time job, fearing an accident while being unable to afford health insurance and most of all feeling isolated and rejected. Some people I work with have stated they'd be thrilled to be canned. Well, these people should just resign and save the job for someone who actually needs/wants to work. So, I'm going to put on my navy blue suit tommorrow morning and watch the other shoe drop.

D-Listers

While this video is fascinating due to the bizarre Tinsley Mortimer fashion shoot, what really captured my attention is the editor-in-chief Devorah and socialite Wannabe stylist Gregory. I don't know much about these two except that they are ALL OVER myspace and share friends with some of my friends. Before this video was mocked by Gawker and Socialite Ranks, these two social climbers had public profiles on myspace which I somehow became entranced with while browsing through profiles one evening. (Yes, I'm a loser.) I know that Gregory hosts parties with some very big tall broad named Kelly, Devorah has some little dog named Stella and her main claim to fame is that she's best friends with Joan Lunden's daughter. They hang out at Marquee and Bungalow and still think the Hamptons is pretty cool.

Cat Rides Bus

Somewhere in England, this cat takes the bus to get fish and chips. So, perhaps we are not joking when we say MJ Cat is out at Magnolia pawing the cupcakes or going for a rat snack and Kentaco.

Read the article here.

Happy Easter!

Above, is the winning peeps diarama from the York Daily Record contest. They really know how to have a good time in our Nation's First Capital.

Madonna Weeps

This is a billboard in London.

Phone Etiquette

Something that drives me crazy is when I call someone (usually a parent) and they unexpectedly "put someone on the phone" which can include someone you haven't spoken to in 20 yrs, your old pediatrician, your 3rd grade gym teacher or an old boyfriend. This, of course, is excused if the person is your spouse or child and lives with you. First of all, if I am calling you, I am calling you and not the person you want to put on the phone. This puts everyone in a bad position. Here's why:
1. I may owe this person a phone call and by you telling them it is me on the phone shows that I have time to call you, but not them.
2. I may only have time to talk to you from work and want to call this person back when I can savor the conversation.
3. This person may not want to talk to me.
4. This person might be busy or distracted and not have time to talk.
5. I could have had a huge fight with this person or secret romantic relations and now you are putting everyone on the spot in a public space.
6. I could be running out of free minutes.
7. I could have nothing to say to this person and vice versa creating a very awkward phone convo.

There are many other possibilities, but I hope you learned that if you are in situation where you might feel compelled to "put someone on" and you see it is me, don't pick up the fucking phone!

P.S. Steph, you fall under "2" and I still owe you a call!

Pollen

So, the pollen count is high as hell and I've been at home dying for the past 30 hours. My lungs are tight and I've taken so much Benedryl, I feel like Anna Nicole about to kick it at the Hard Rock.

Don't Hang the DJ

So, last night, I debuted my new DJ career at Luv. Let me tell you, DJing is hot and hard. We kept the place full during our entire set. Also, I'd really like to thank all my great friends who came to support us. For those of you who ignored the invite, you missed one hell of a time!

The Namesake

This trailer does not do justice to this beautiful and moving film based on fantastic book. If it's in your town, go see it this weekend. This is the best movie I've seen in a very long time but I confess I'm a sucker for Mira Nair.

Who wore it better? At least I wore it first.

nycbabylon on New Year's Eve?


Or Paris Hilton last weekend at Teddy's?

Madonna for H&M

As most of my good friends know, I'm a sucker for both Madonna and for H&M. So, when I found out that Madonna was launching her own line for the Swedish department store, I was sure to get my ass over there to check it out. So, despite tepid reviews, I found some good solid pieces. I bought three dresses and a cashmere wrap sweater. With my new shoes from te casan, I'm ready for spring!

My Bentley

As I was on my way home from Gourmet Garage where I purchased some tulips and produce, I noticed a huge-ass Bentley parked in front of my house. I had grocery bags so I paused to get my house keys out when I was stopped by a group of tourists and vagrants asking me if it was my car. Then one man from the midwest said, "It sure looks like it could be your car." And I said, "No, that's not my car," and someone else said, "You sure look like a celebrity and you're getting your keys out. I know that's your car." I had to convince them that I was not a celeb and also that I was not the owner of the Bentley but that I was flattered that I look so rich. I don't know who they thought I was but if you want to look like someone who could roll in a Bentley, adopt the following look. I am wearing Levi's, a white cotton dotted swiss H&M blouse, hand knit sweater from Anthropologie, bronze Unisa flats and my down fur-collar vest. My hair was back in a half-assed bun and I was wearing my prescription Ray Ban aviators. I was also carrying my red beat up Marc Jacobs purse. I'm also very blonde and tan from my Aruba trip so I was not wearing any makeup. I need to go on vacation more often.

Back from Paradise

I'm back from a fabulous vacation in Aruba. I don't care what you hipsters say, Aruba is fun, relaxing and full of lizards and birds. I spent 7 nights with the Patrick sisters at the Mill Resorts and Suites located on Palm Beach. During our vacation, we celebrated both St. Patrick's Day and Aruba Day! Other highlights included snorkeling, tubing, dancing, and frying ourselves on the beach. I'm so relaxed, I am not even mad at MJ Cat for taking up with Pilobolus.

why i miss my Rachelby Max, the cat...

* She buys me stuff even when it's not founder's day.

* She makes me laugh, even though cats don't really laugh.

* She lets me sleep on the Time-Warner Cable box.

* She smells nice and she also hates mayo.

* She isn't the cat sitter.

* She has good taste in cats.

Hurry back!

Meow!

- Max, the Cat
Guest Blogger

total recall

New Yorkers got the shock of their lives a few weeks ago with rat infested Kentaco Bells.

Now my fellow cats and dogs get the shock that several brands of canned food have been recalled due to some corporate rats known as Menu Foods.

Please click on the cats and dogs above for more information on the recall and have your pets checked just in case.

On another note, I would like to call for a recall of Greenies Cat Treats. They taste like ass.

Meow.

- Max, the Cat
Guest Blogger

all you have to do is dream

Dear Rachel:

Do not be alarmed if my availability in the apartment changes in the upcoming months.

I have joined the Pilobolus Dance Theatre, and my new schedule is very demanding.

I know how much this may come as a disappointment to you, but I hope that you will please be understanding of my inner desires.

It was joining this or the Hollywood Film Chorale Sound Effects Choir, and all I can do is meow.

All the best,

Max, the cat

PS - My official publicity photo...

lone pussy

I've been calling my old friends Thor and Heather all weekend in an effort to hit the town, especially last night with St. Patty's Day giving me a good excuse to drink green beer, yet my calls went unreturned.



Wouldn't you know, their "platonic" relationship has progressed.

I called this years ago. Please, you could have cut that sexual tension with a cat toe nail clipper.

I hate these so-called married poser cats trying to assimilate into human status quo. I am proud to be a bachelor cat, and Rachel's the only woman for me.

Still I can't help feeling like I'm stuck in some bad sitcom where I'm the single cat.

Meow.

- Max, the Cat
Guest Blogger

what's warm about global warming?

Today, this cat's stayin' indoors.

While my owner gallivants all over the tropics, I get stuck in Category 6: Day of Destruction.

Lucky for me Lifetime Television for Women, gay men, and cats is showing hour long blocks of Golden Girls, Reba, and Still Standing. I'm not quite sure what that last show is, but I'm a sucker for fat guy/skinny wife shows.

Meow.

Max, the cat
Guest Blogger

I'm gonna fix that ratthat's what I'm gonna do

With my owner out of the house, it's the purrfect time for this cat to hit the town.

I am spending most of the day watching my soaps, but I did manage to wake up early for a delicious rat-snack at the Kentaco Bell recently closed on West 4th Street.

Okay, I lie. The doors were closed, and thanks to the board of health, not a rat could be found.


Off to Marc Jacobs later this afternoon for a new collar. More to blog tomorrow.

Meow.

- Max, the Cat
Guest Blogger

Catblogging by MJ Cat

I'm off to Aruba so MJ Cat will be catblogging again while I'm away. Last year, he was out of control when I was on my vacation. He stole cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery, tried on clothes at Marc Jacobs, went to a Tribeca Foam Party and made the cover of Cat Fancy. I'm curious what adventures he'll have this year. Will he break into the Waverly Inn with Ms. Chat? Will he go to Bungalow 8 with Lohan? Will he shave off all his fur like Britney? I can't wait to see what he's up to this year!

West Village Celebfest!

The celebs are out in full force this week. Tonight, I passed by Rhea Perlman and her daughter walking down Cornelia Street. In other news, I'm headed on vacation in 24 hours! MJ Cat will be catblogging while I'm away.

Cumming: The Fragrance

Yes, Alan Cumming also has his own fragrance and here is the commercial.

Miss Chat Celebrity Dog

Miss Chat was walking down Waverly smoking a Virginia Slim when she stopped by Graydon Carter and Fran Lebowitz in front of hip Waverly Inn. She sniffed her way right up to the door and her person WLS said, "Chat, you don't have the proper credentials to get in," but Graydon replied, "Yes she does." So, Chat entered the exclusive Waverly Inn for a dirty martini and was immediately accosted and petted by Angeline Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Chat has become our ticket to the celebrity inner circle. And to think, she was picked up from a trailer park in Havre de Grace.

Celebrity Stalking

This is a photo of Sarah Jessica Parker's ass along with her son James. I encountered them on Saturday in the West Village. Later James got on his bike and almost ran me over and SJP told him to say "Excuse me." Some tourist then tried to accost SJP as she was crossing 6th Avenue but SJP was trying to keep her son from getting run over. And then I noticed that SJP was wearing the scent "Skin" by Bonnie Bell so I asked her, "Are you wearing Skin?" And then she replied, "You have a good nose. I either wear that or my own scent," which I thought was funny because she just assumed I knew who she was or perhaps I just thought that every woman has her own line of perfume. Then, we parted ways.

This is a crappy celeb photo but I was trying to be discreet.

Where are you From?

Someone was making fun of the way I pronounce the word "box office" so I decided to take this quiz.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
The South
Philadelphia
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Free to Be?

Beware of the Blog reminded me today that It's Alright to Cry courtesy of Rosie Grier from the 1974 classic Free To Be You and Me. As I watched this on You Tube, I realized that Free to Be You and Me can perhaps be the root of many of my current psychological conflicts. Free to Be was big in the Babylon house in the 70s. We had the book, sang the songs and often watched the TV show as film while at camp or even at Sunday School and I took it all to heart. I really believed that when I grew up, I might be pretty or tall, but I wouldn't have to change at all. I believed that ladies don't always have to their feminine ways to come out ahead and that I could have success in any career I dreamed. I learned it's OK for William to have a doll and I made many gay male friends. I learned that parents are basically just totally fucked up people with children.

I've always felt free to be just me. Now, however, as I'm a woman working in the corporate world, I'm not sure that all of Marlo's lessons hold true. In today's age, crying at work gets you classified as "depressed" or "emotional," using the same aggressive tactics as a man gets you classified as a "bitch," hanging out with your gay boyfriends gets you classified as a "hag" and don't even get me started on what happened to poor Michael Jackson when he grew up acting freely. I'm just not so sure we are all so free to be you and me anymore. I'm just not sure who in the hell we are supposed to be? Marlo?

Eyebrows

I want to confess. I'm addicted to my Tweezermans. I am obsessed with any stray hair anywhere on my body. So, as you can imagine, growing out my eyebrows is going to be a difficult challenge. I was told last week that my eyebrows are "too thin" so I am now undergoing a project where I WILL NOT TWEEZE my brows for one month. My brows, however, are not that thin and without proper care, I'll be Brooke Shields in a few days. BUT I AM NOT GOING TO TOUCH MY BROWS WITH TWEEZERS! if you see me, don't look through my bangs at my hair brows. I will be seen my an A-list eyebrow expert who will shape my brows in movie star style. Wish me luck.

Kokomo

It's fucking below zero and I can't wait until next week when I'm in the Caribbean away from all the pressure of the United States! Things I won't miss while I'm with the real fish:
1. Small fish struggling in big ponds.
2. Confused men from the Pacific side.
3. The Druskin initiative.
4. Fake tans.

Big Black Hole Tuesday

It's been a while since I've been in the Big Black Hole, but with Mercury in retrograde, I again have many unanswered questions?
1. What does he want from me?
2. Whose idea was it to have Pilobolus on the Oscars?
3. What is going on with the Druskin plan?
4. Where were Britney's handlers?
5. Why does MJ Cat want to bite me in the middle of the night?

Save the Date!

Todd and I aka Beware of the Babylon aka DJ Babylon and DJ BWare
are DJing on March 31st! Be there!

Widgets are the New Podcasts!

To replace my flickr widget, I will be posting my new ilike.com widget. This is one fucking cool widget! I was actually in a meeting today where some financial type was talking about widgets although I think he was just throwing around a buzzword.