More Entertaining Than El Cantante

Costume Institute Gala Red Carpet Arrivals

Next to the Oscars, the Costume Institute Gala at the Met has become one of my favorite annual fashion events. This year, however, the event celebrating Poiret: King of Fashion was more of an actual costume party than a fashion show. Celebrities dressed up as gorillas, other celebrities, tin foil, and former first ladies as they crowded the red carpet. Here's some highlights:


Parker Posey dressed up as Cat Scratch Fever.


Is that Amanda Lepore? No, it's Jessica Simpson!

Jennifer Garner as former first lady Nancy Reagan.

Mary-Kate Olsen dressed up in a classic gorilla suit.

Renee Zellweger dressed up as a tube of toothpaste.

Christina Ricci went as Terri Hatcher.

Chloe Sevigny is a magical leprichan.

Kelly Ripa dressed up a fake-baked TV star.

Jennifer Connelly went as Reynolds Wrap.

Cameron Diaz dressed up like a movie star.

Cate Blanchett dressed as the greatest puppet of all time-Madame!

Who is that robot with Marc Anthony?

Julianne Moore dressed up as Sienna Miller dressed up as Edie Sedgwick.

Paris Hilton Sentenced to Prison!

I usually don't care about Paris Hilton gossip but I just learned that the self-entitled heiress is going to jail for breaking her parole. I love it when celebs who think they are above the law go to prison.

Hasselhoff is the New Baldwin

Flirt Cosmetics

Vanessa Manilo aka Nick Lachey's girlfriend unveiled her new line of cosmetics today. Despite the fact that I can't imagine that Manilo's brand is worthy of a cosmetic licensing deal, I'm curious why all of Lachey's broads are forced to whore themselves to "create" their own cosmetic lines. Remember Jessica Simpson's failed of Dessert products which you could lick off your woman which was first sold as high-end at Sephora and then low-end at Walmart and then went out of business? Does Lachey have some kind of stock in some lipstick producing factory? Please explain this to me.

Shear Genius Expose!

We're only into the second week, but I had an insider's tip about Rene Fris, the Tim Gunn wanna be on Bravo's new reality series Shear Genius. The bio includes the following information. My tipster also commented on the Bravo site, but his post was removed! The Fris coverup is becoming one of the greatest scams in reality TV show history!

Fris' accolades have included: Head Stylist at Elizabeth Arden's
Red Door
Salon at Saks 5th Avenue, Celebrity Stylist for John Frieda Salons,
Grooming
Specialist on the TV series “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” in
Europe,
author of two best selling men's and women's grooming books, owner
of an
internationally acclaimed product line bearing his name, and a
successful
modeling career with the Wilhelmina Modeling Agency. He has shaped the careers
of hundreds of stylists, and the list of celebrities and
models that have
passed through his doors is endless

.

According to my source, this claim above is a complete
lie. Fris was actually fired from John Frieda for not bringing in clients, let
alone celebrities. Also, since when is Saks considered a celebrity salon? If you
look at Fris' personal site, his editorial work is mediocre at best. Since when
is Euroman a high-fashion hair magazine? As for the products, if they are not at
Ricky's then they don't exist.

Nothing Compares to Britney!

I'm stuck at home nursing a nasty cold and getting bored by the relentless boring coverage of Anna Nicole Smith. Thank God, Britney Spears just went beserk by escaping rehab, flying coach on a plane back to LA and then shaved off all of her hair and then went to get some tattoos! This is not a joke. Proof is below.

Yo Quiero Chaka Chaka Contigo!

Mark Anthony humps wife JLo at a pre-Superbowl party.

Winter Awakening

I've been feeling kind of down after the exciting holiday season, but this weekend really brought my spirits back. First, I had a great date on Friday night with an eccentric musician. As he drove me home, he pulled a tree branch from his back seat and asked me to smell it and then looked me deep in the eyes and seriously said, "It smells like Christmas." He asked me out again and I can't wait to see him once more.

Then, last night I went to see the musical Spring Awakening. I went alone and scored a second row center orchestra seat. Before the show started, Tracey Ullman sat by me. As you can imagine, I'm a huge fan of Tracey who was as funny and outgoing as she is in her act. During intermission she leaned over and asked me, "What do you make of this?" She even did a bit of shtick where she projected the average old Jewish lady response to the show. "Oy, where's the dancing?" Then someone came up to her and told her how much they loved her on Frasier which she thought was pretty funny and she looked at me and said, "Can you bloody believe that?" The show was fresh with a great score so I recommend it. Lisa Marie Presley was also there but I don't consider her nearly as exciting as Tracey. Lisa was actually with Angela McCluskey who I met and chatted for a long time with at a party last year but I didn't have time to chat with Angela or meet Lisa because I was too starstruck by Ullman. So, on Saturday night I had a great date with Tracey Ullman.

Today, I made some bolognese and cheesecake, practiced my sax and downloaded the Spring Awakening soundtrack. I'm in a very good mood and I still can smell the faint scent of Christmas.

Donald vs. Rosie

Today, I got an email from a reader/friend who wanted my opinion on the Rosie vs. Trump feud. Frankly, I can't believe it's still making headlines and that on a poll today that I saw on AOL, most people are on Trump's side. Here, however, are my thoughts:
1. Rosie is a comedienne and entitled to her opinion and frankly, I thought what she said was funny and Donald seems on the defense.
2. Trump's initial response on Acess Hollywood disgusted me since his comments were been both homophobic and misogynist. Instead of stating that perhaps Rosie was misinformed about his finances, he attacked her by calling her fat, unattractive, and threatening to have a friend come steal her girlfriend Kelly.
3. If Trump is as smart and powerful as he claims, he should act as a responsible corporate citizen. Instead, as a self-proclaimed symbol of corporate power, his homophobic tirades demonstrate the sexism women face in the white corporate world. If a man disagrees with him, he'd never call him "fat" or a "pig." This type of rhetoric is very anti-woman and that type of response does not create an intellectual debate.
4. It's making me sick he's dragging Ivanka into this as a mere ratings device for his show the Apprentice which I used to enjoy, but now is officially fired from my TV schedule.
5. I love the View!

Oprah Talks Shit!

I was shocked yesterday when I watched an repeat episode of Oprah where she and some guy named Dr. Oz answered "Your Most Embarrassing Questions" about poop. Oprah seriously covered questions such as "What Shape Should Your Poop Be?", "Why does poop smell?", and "What makes poop brown?" You can click here for a recap. While I have to confess, I'm curious about poop, I can't believe Oprah dedicated a show to discussing bowl movements. I'd like to ask her why pinenuts always come out as some weird deposit in my shit or what to do when you get poop stuck 1/2 way on the work toilet. Tonight, I'll be watching "Does My Butt Look Big?" I know mine does and don't need Oprah to tell me this either.

Vagina is the New Black

A trend I've been following over the past year is the fashion trend of young celebs flashing their naked shaven beavers. Paris Hilton and Lindsay "Firecrotch" Lohan were the first to start this trend earlier this year. Now, desperate Britney Spears is following at the tail end of the hoo-ha flash craze. Frankly, once Britney adopts the trend, that trend has jumped the shark and will soon be available at Claire's boutique and the San Gennaro street fair. This morning, I flashed my own crotch while going down the steps to the V train at the West 4th Street subway station. A subway tunnel wind caught hold of my skirt raising it far above my waist. I, however, have taken the trend to the next level. I displayed to the entire rush hour scene a full bush hidden by granny panties.

Kramer Apologizes

I am watching David Letterman and Jerry Seinfeld asked Michael Richards to apologize for his racist tirade at LA's Laugh Factory earlier this week. Frankly, this apology is one of the most uncomfortable television segments I've ever seen. Now, Kramer looks like he's going to cry and the audience is laughing out of discomfort. I don't know what to say and can't wait for this show up on youtube.com.