Friday, March 18, 2005

You've Got a Friend?

It's the height of flu season and chances are if your single female friend has disappeared for a week, she might be bedridden unable to get up except barely to go the bathroom. We all know she wants to drop five pounds, but seven pounds in a week is pushing it which shows that someone needs to get his or her ass over to her apartment and offer some provisions and to change her sweaty sheets. Here are some signs that your friend might be feeling as sick as she did when she had mono back in 1987:

1. You notice that she hasn't written in her blog for nearly a week.
2. She doesn't call you or pick up her phone. You know how she loves the phone.
3. It's St. Patrick's Day and she doesn't invite you anywhere. You know how she loves this holiday so this is all out of character.
4. She's not on AIM ALL WEEK LONG!
5. She calls you on the phone and leaves a message that she is really sick and NEEDS YOUR HELP. Please come over and help her if you receive this call.

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