Friday, March 11, 2005

Ask MJ Cat: Friday Catblog

It's time for everyone's favorite expert MJ Cat to answer your plaguing questions! MJ Cat just received his PhD in psychoanalysis from a top online university. He also has a MA in Cinema Studies, which according to the New York times is the "new M.B.A." MJ can answer questions on any topic from any human being.

MJ: I got the ring last night. How should I pop the question?--Eric F., York, PA

Eric: Women like to be taken out and proposed to in public. The tough part is that there really isn't anywhere too romantic in York, PA to pop the question. I mean the Depot isn't really going to cut it. You should do it when you are out walking your cat (or dog) with her late at night or at Walmart at 2AM. Get the ring out and get down on one knee when it's totally unexpected. Good luck and let us know her response!

MJ: How much should I be willing to pay for tickets to the ACC tournament?--Your Aunt Ellen, Washington, D.C.

Aunt Ellen: I never get to see you much so I don't know much about your finances. I did appreciate that cat bed you gave me last Christmas. If I had an opportunity to go see Garfield in person, I'd pay $150.

MJ: Why do guys spit in the street and women don't?--Rachel A, New York, NY

Rachel: I only spit when I'm really pissed off or at the vet, but I'm a classy cat. Classy cats don't spit. Perhaps you should examine the relationships you have with these men who feel so comfortable spitting all the time in front of you.

MJ: Have you read “The Kite Runner”? If so, what are your thoughts? If not, WHY NOT?--Dave, Miami, FL

Dave: I just finished "The Life of Pi" which was such a rewarding and wonderful novel and I've been searching for a new satisfying book to read. Based on your taste in women and cats, I suspect you have great taste in literature. I'll be sure to read this one next!

MJ: Have you ever tried crystal meth? There's such a hub-bub about it lately.-JH, New York, NY

JH: I have never tried crystal meth but I will now take this time to confess that I have a serious problem with catnip. If I don't get my nightly dose, I get mean and bite my owner on the calf. Hallucinogenic drugs are dangerous and when you get addicted, you can really upset your loved ones as they become slaves to your nasty habit.

MJ: Why would my fiance want to wear an ascot to our wedding? Is this a
request you would honor? Am i a bad fiancee if i don't let him express his
individuality through neckwear?--Shauna, New York, NY

Shauna: I'm a classic brown tabby with white so I would not find an ascot necessary as my white fur collar serves as a natural type of ascot. I'm old-school and I think men look best in their own basic fur in a properly fitted tuxedo. You are not being a bad fiancee, but if he insists on wearing his ascot, let him. Hopefully, after you get married, he'll be more comfortable in his own fur.

MJ: Do you think Micheal Jackson was wearing underpants under his pajamas in
court today?--Wyndham S., New York, NY

Wyndham: No, but I don't wear underpants either so we can't judge him on that. At least he wasn't wearing an ascot.

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