Tuesday, January 02, 2007

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

So, before the holidays, I had more than one man hint he'd take me out for the New Year. Needless to say, they all seemed to vanish (and I mean fall off the face of the earth) one by one after they mentioned taking me out for the big night. I had more hope about some than others and surrendered myself to the fantasy that one of them would show up at the last minute and the goddess of fate would take care of me and 2006 would come to a very happy ending. Despite the fabulous time I ended up having with my gfs, I want to stress to the men out there that this kind of vanishing act is not cool during the period between 11/26 and 12/31 when women are especially vulnerable so don't hint at holiday dates when you cannot come through or at least let the woman know you are crapping out, freaking out, going out of town, etc. At least, The Boss has the decency to share his schedule with me and for that reason, he still has my respect. Out of generous spirit, I'm providing some guidance to the guilty about how to get back in my good graces.
1. Send me flowers. Make sure they are my favorite. If you don't know my favorite flowers, do some homework and find out. I have enough online media that you can find one of my friends and find out.
2. Send me an apology card that includes a photo of a cute animal on it that says, "I'm sorry" including a handwritten explanation of your disappearance. Depending on the animal you choose, I will determine if I will forgive you.
3. Call and profusely apologize and invite me to Sparks for dinner.
4. Email me a list using the headline "I'm sorry" and then list 10 things you think are great about me.
5. Write me a song about how great I am and record yourself singing it on youtube and then send me the link.

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