The Calientecast

This week Rachel and Todd sweat out the BEWARE OF THE BABYLON PODCAST and...

* get all Thelma and Louise without driving off a cliff.

* learn how Rachel's week was like Return of the Living Dead

* why Todd has toilet paper on his head

* why podcasts shouldn't talk about podcasts


If you haven't already done it...
click here to subscribe to the podcast on ITUNES.

Or if you just want to hear it from here...
click here to download the podcast and listen.

Gone Fishing

MJ Cat and I will be out of town next week. We're recording a new podcast tonight before I leave so be sure to check out bewareofthebabylon.com to download it and hear me during my much needed vacation!

The Sign of the Mexican

Last night after a long evening including a work dinner and a run-in with an ex boyfriend, I hopped in a cab ready for bed. As I got out of the cab, I couldn't believe it, but Felipe was standing there sweating on the corner. I haven't seen Felipe in about four years since he left town to return to Mexico to open up his own restaurant. Felipe was the cook at a restaurant where I worked in NYC and we developed a bizarre friendship over the course of my employment. Once when I was behind the register, Felipe reached over and grabbed my nipple with a stapler. In any other work environment this would immediately have sent me to HR, but in this situation I was helpless and could only laugh at the situation and the current state of my disappointing life. In any case, I am wondering if Felipe's return to the country is a good omen or bad omen.

Scientology? Fuck that Shit! Transcendental Meditation!

As many know, David Lynch is one of my favorite directors. I once dyed my hair from brunette to platinum blonde after my first screening of the underrated movie Lost Highway. Page 6 posted today that Lynch is setting up schools for transcendental meditation callded the "David Lynch Foundation for Consciousness-Based Education and World Peace." Lynch, however, does not want his foundation to be confused for being a cult or a religion.

Quick to point out that "TM" is not a "religion" of "clones" but a "mental technique to dive within," he'll only say of Scientology and Kabbalah, "I don't know enough about either to comment. People believe in what they believe in, and that's a beautiful thing."

I have actually tried TM, and I must confess it does chill me out. I wish they offered it at Equinox.

Major Crush

I have a crush on someone and it's making me feel like I'm in junior high because I don't think he likes me back at all. And if even if he did like me back, I can't imagine what kind of relationship we could even have together. But, when I see him I feel paralyzed and I don't know what to say. I freeze up inside and if he were ever to touch me, I fear that I'd melt or shatter. I know I should be excited about feeling so young and vulnerable again, but seeing him instead makes me sad and pessimistic.

Put Tarnation at the top of your list!

I just rewatched Tarnation on DVD this weekend and listened to Jonathan Caouette's commentary. If you haven't seen this movie, rent it as once. Caoette is our generation's Stan Brakhage. On a second and third viewing, this film continues to inspire me both creatively and intellectually. If you haven't seen it, I won't go into details about the content or the construction. I wouldn't want to prepare you for this at all.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

It's been a muggy and emotional week. As of COB today, I'm going to curl up with a good friend in bed, destress and get some much needed rest!

Best in Show

Today I had a debate with a man about the phrase "working like a dog." According to him, dogs don't work at all and that the phrase should be changed to "working like a miner." I countered that a lot of dogs do work either helping blind people, rescuing people, sniffing out bombs, herding flocks and other assorted crappy jobs. He then stated (out of his ass I think) that only less than 1% of the dog population actually works. He then went on to say that cats also do not work and I argued that some cats indeed do have jobs, and before I took him as my son, MJ Cat was a professional mouser. I also pointed out that dogs and cats don't get paid so it's hard to track the actual working statistics on these animals since they can't even file for unemployment.

What is the point of this debate? I think I might have met my dream man.

York, PA: A Best Place to Live?

York, PA, my hometown, has been rated the 95th place to live by Money Magazine. No comment, but let's just say, I don't still live in York for some very good reasons.


Ranked above par - York Daily Record

The Remember our Name, Fame, Podcast

THIS WEEK ON BEWARE OF THE BABYLON - FAME!

On this podcast you will learn:

* how everything and everyone has jumped the shark

* how W. Houston street is really Whitney Houston Street

* why I learned nothing about Atrophic Vaginitis

* what will we wear to the Emmys!?!

* when is it too old to be acting weird

If you haven't already done it...
click here to subscribe to the podcast on ITUNES.

Or if you just want to hear it from here...
click here to download the podcast and listen.

There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

Somewhere in the early 90's, someone put a curse on me. The curse is that if I meet a romantic prospect or someone I am dating for lunch, I can guarantee that this will be the last time I ever see him or that we will break up. I must find a way to break this curse as it happened to me again this week. Here is a record of my lost New York City lunch dates:

1. Christopher-Tramway Diner-Christopher was my first boyfriend in New York. We dated for a while, met each other's families and even traveled together. We broke up over lunch at the Tramway Diner, but I don't remember why.

2. Bill D., Trattoria Del Arte-I met Bill at my old hangout NW3 in 1994. He was in town for a wedding and it was actually Valentine's Day. He was a lawyer from Philadelphia and he walked me home from the bar and called me that night when he returned to his hotel room saying that he couldn't wait to see me again. We corresponded for a few months, but lost touch. Four years later, he contacted me out of the blue to tell me that he moved to New York and asked me to meet him for lunch. I remember I wore my best black suit. I never saw him or heard from him again.

3. Michael-his loft- Michael was an older handsome investment banker I met while in grad school. He lived in a loft on Bond Street. He'd pick me up in his SUV and take me to Nobu after class or I'd rollerblade over to his apartment and drink fine wine. The last time I saw him was Easter Sunday 1994 to meet him for a holiday lunch. When I arrived, I noticed a woman's straw hat left by his door. I never saw him again after that day.

4. Rob-Da Silvano-Rob took me to lunch for my birthday while I was working at a dot.com that was going out of business. I liked Rob and we had been on a few dates, so I thought this power lunch might be the time to break the curse. We had a pleasant lunch where during desert he informed me he was quitting his job and moving to Hawaii to become a surfer. I never saw him again.

5. Chris, Manatus Diner-Chris is someone I met recently who I really liked and thought might have the potential to turn into someone I could actually date. A couple of weeks ago, he asked me to meet him for lunch on my day off. I was hesitant and told him about the curse and that I'd hate to not see him again. He assured me it wouldn't happen. So, against my better judgment I agreed to meet him for lunch. Last night he told me that he doesn't think it's a good idea for us to see each other again. I blame the lunch.

I Smell a Rat!

I spent this past weekend home watching NY1. As a result of the London bombing attacks, I'm going to stay off the rails here for awhile. I, however, was horrified by the following story that I watched repeatedly on the NY1 rotation. Rats have taken over the Bronx and the footage made my stomach turn. They showed dead rats surrounded by flies, rats running around in broad daylight and children attacked by rats. I was even treated to the story one more time this morning before work.

One night Eldalis Roa woke up with rats in her bed.

"One on my hair and one on my finger. The one me on the finger and the one on my finger bit me," said Roa.

I don't quite get that second part of that quote, but it doesn't sound good. Read about it for yourself. This is a true story.


NY1: The Bronx

Ask MJ Cat: Friday Catblog

It's time for everyone's favorite expert MJ Cat to answer all your questions! MJ Cat just received his PhD in Cultural Studies from a top online university and continues studying at DeVry. He also has a MA in Cinema Studies, which according to the New York times is the "new M.B.A." MJ can answer questions on any topic from any human being.
>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<

Dear MJ Cat: I recently went with my girlfriend for a pedicure and they charged me 4 dollars more than her. 16 vs. 20. i would not say that my feet are significantly bigger or dirtier than hers. does this seem fair? is this standard? i enjoyed it and would go back, but i am kind of pissed about the upcharge and may reconsider returning.--twinkle toes, Brooklyn, ny

Dear Twinkle: I hate having pedicures and am usually held down or attacked with the clippers when I'm sound asleep. I would never pay for this torture. If you must get feet done, I advise to try somewhere else because you got nailed.

Dear MJ Cat: If a bus left Cleveland at 2 PM and travels 4 hours to Cincinnati, how many beers will I need for the trip?--Aaron D, New York, NY

Dear Aaron: This question is so disturbing that I don't even know how to answer it. First of all, I can't understand why if you live in NYC you'd be in a situation where this bus trip would be necessary. If you are forced to take the trip, buy a 6-pack. Drink 3 in the first hour and spread the rest out of the rest of the trip.

Dear MJ: Does it anger you that each summer families and their canines go on vacation, and the felines are never invited?--Your Aunt, Washington, DC

Dear Aunt: Does it anger you that you are allergic to cats and can't experience the true joy of curling up with a good book and a furry friend?

My New Attitude

Today rapper Lil' Kim was sentenced to one year in prison for perjury. I normally would not care about Lil' Kim and I don't know much about her except she wore a pastie on her boob for the MTV Music Awards and someone she knows shot someone in her presence and she tried to cover it up. The story is interesting to me because in my hometown of York, PA a well-known attorney was also sentenced to jail for screwing with the court system. Aside from this, he's been found guilty of groping a woman in a bar, sexual molesting male clients and embezzling funds from his own law firm. Meanwhile, his son has been arrested with a gun and cocaine in a cheap hotel room. My friends and family in York are always updating me on the fate of this attorney as he was a member of our community and his son was a classmate of mine. As part of the new improved me, I will now refrain from participating in schadenfreude which is a German word that means to take pleasure in the misfortune of others. I will feel sorry for all powerful rich people who are either too crazy or stupid to avoid being thrown in jail.

The Kentucky Fried Podcast

THIS WEEK, WE ARE LIVE ON TAPE FROM MY APARTMENT!

Independent Woman?

Over the past few days, I've been offline contemplating the meaning of life and had a personal rebirth. Here are some of the things I realized and learned:

1. A lap around the Christopher Street Pier is called a "Love Lap." Walking alone around this pier, however, does not guarantee that you will find love.
2. Your company does not "own" you. You have the right to make choices that are best for your own present and future.
3. Receiving a painted postcard in the mail is more satisfying than receiving an email.
4. I'm smarter than most people give me credit for and I always undersell myself. I'm going to stop doing this going forward and again, not waste the pretty in all my life endeavors.