Lost Whippet!

I was very sad to hear that the search for the missing whippet has been called off. A whippet named Vivi escaped at JFK and was last seen running through the surrounding marshlands. This story sparks the same type of sadness and worry in me that I experienced when Spaulding Gray disappeared a couple of years ago. I hope they find Vivi!

Capoeira Thursday

A little known fact about me is that I've been studying capoeira for over 15 years. I just found this awesome capoeira video on youtube.com. Capoeira is a Brazilian martial art disguised as dance.

Swimming with Sharks

As I get older and more powerful and more of my friends get assistants at work, I would like to set the following ground rules. I started my career assisting someone who abused his position of power, so I am sensitive to the plight of all executive assistants around the world. These kids did not go to college to be your slave. If you are so important and powerful that you need to have your executive assistant become involved in your personal life, you should have the funds to hire a personal assistant rather than abuse the company hire.

1. Do not have your assistant call me to make social plans. Your assistant is only allowed to call me if you are either locked in a room somewhere and you do not have access to your blackberry, cell phone or other PDA that I know that you must have on you on all times in order to keep in touch with your assistant. If you have the time to give your assistant detailed instructions about what to tell me in a call, you have the minute it takes to call me personally. Plus, I am not comfortable with your assistant knowing about my personal life and where I am dining with you that evening.
2. Do not have your assistant leave me a message. Please see above. Call me personally. If you get off on having your assistant call me, then have him call my assistant so I can get off too.
3. If you are having a birthday party or some other social event, do not have me RSVP to your work assistant. The assistant that your company pays for should not be used as a social secretary.
4. The only exemption to the above rules is that your assistant is allowed to call me if you have either been rushed to the hospital for a medical emergency, you have died or you are having a mental breakdown and your assistant doesn't know how to handle the situation.

Thank you.

The Side Boob Trend

Mariah Carey continues to try to promote a new "side boob" trend. I have ratty old flannel nightgowns that look better than this.

Boots and Saddles

Willie Nelson released a gay cowboy song today entitled "Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other)." If you have the lyrics, please send them to me.

The Bitch is Back

OK, I'm at the last ice cube of my annual meltdown and if it weren't for the Westminster Dog Show, I don't know if I could coagulate on an annual basis. This year has been an especially rough Valentine's Day. I tried to stay afloat with some extra daytime flirting with the office Snack and by wearing a kitten-heel shoe, but as I left the office tonight, I felt as if I was suffocating. I saw couples with flowers, young lovers holding hands and men lined up for cheap diamonds at Macy's. A friend confessed that after her dinner with her new man, she was going to put on feather pasties and a g-string as a special treat for her Valentine. Todd even took Craig to Forbidden Broadway rather than record the podcast. Then, when I came home I received the phone call from the British man who disappeared over New Year's Eve. I wonder if his return was planned for today, but I was glad to hear his voice. Ex-boyfriends are popping up all over the place today and I came to the conclusion that Valentine's Day is really not a day about love and togetherness, but a day for single women to revisit their past mistakes and question if perhaps a dog or cat might just be a better companion. Perhaps it is a good sign that a Bull Terrier named Rufus just took Best in Show. The persistent underdog just might come out ahead!

Puss 'N Boots

It's the final day of my downward spiral from New Year's Eve. If I make it through tomorrow, I'll be on the upswing through the final day of 2006. Unfortunately, I have to spend the day in a Risk class. Fortunately, my fantasty boyfriend Boots is in town. He's taking me to the dog show and to a late dinner. He's sending me flowers and a gift certificate to Bergdorf so I can go buy whatever I want. I need to believe in this fantasy.

Blizzard!

MJ and I survived the big Blizzard of 2006. Starting Saturday night, we holed up and decided to have a cooking, cleaning and sleeping marathon. We bought all of our groceries as the first snowflakes began to fall. First, we cleaned the kitchen and bathroom floors. I actually scrubbed while Max supervised from atop his perch on the TV box. Then, we decided to throw out some old books from the overcrowded book shelf. We threw out such classics as The Red Tent, The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing and a 1996 Zagat's Guide. As we were cleaning, we marinated a big London Broil. Our friend Kristen braved the storm and came over for the dinner which also included wild rice and a green salad. We offered her a frozen Tasky Kake for dessert, but she declined. After our dinner party, we went to bed but were roused when the lightening and thunder started to occur in the middle of the night. We stayed into bed until 3:00. I woke up and checked out the storm and took some photos which I posted on flickr. Then, I sorted some paper. As I did this, I made homemade chicken noodle soup, turkey chili, chocolate chip cookies, saffron rice and black beans. I ate black beans on Friday and I think I need some more this week. Now, we are getting ready for bed knowing that we survived the blizzard, but are not so sure we are going to survive Valentine's Day.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

MJ Cat
Originally uploaded by redrachel.

My person has been out every night this week and I miss her. I wish she would dump the fantasy of an unattainable man and spend more time with me. I know what loyalty, companionship and spooning is all about.

The Grammys!

The Grammy's were pretty good this year. Check out Madonna. She rocks.

Youtube is the new flickr

As we discussed in this week's podcast, I am obsessed with Youtube.com which is a site where anyone can post and share their videos. I love to type in random words and see what comes up. Youtube.com is better than most programs on TV. Below is what I found when I typed in "cat shower."

The Ballcast

Rachel and Todd get older and wiser at Chumleys and ask important questions like:

• Where did Han Solo's mojo go?

• What is Gwyneth's favorite word in the English language?

• Who is this guy, and how do I know him?

• Why does Todd feel so old?

• Does Cruisin' count as Cruising?

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

I'm Going to Find My Cat!

I just returned from a screening of the new Harrison Ford movie Firewall. The movie was terrible and during the Q&A afterwards, Ford seemed embarrassed while Bettany seemed smug. Yet, I am scared that someone might try to kidnap MJ Cat in order to blackmail me to get inside the bank where I work. If I do not blog for a week witout notice, I am struggling to track down Max and his catnappers. I need to have a digital chip installed in Max tomorrow!

FATHER DEMO SQUARE Update

As a long time West Villager, I've been known to spend a lazy afternoon reading the paper, making out after a first date, licking a Cones cone or scarfing down a slice of Joe's sitting on a dirty bench in Father Demo Square. On warm Sundays, I tended to catch up on calls from my cell phone as I avoided sitting next to a smelly homeless person or being shit on by a pigeon. The truth is, Father Demo Square is my favorite city park and a few months ago, I was very confused as they put a wire gate around the cement park and tore out some of the benches. Friends who have witnessed this devastation keep asking me, "Do you know what's going on in Father Demo Square? Where have you been hanging out?"

Last night, the mystery was solved. Father Demo Square is being renovated to include a fountain, new benches and greenery and the worst part is that I have to wait until AT LEAST fall 2006 to be readmitted to my park of choice! Plus, I can't imagine how this "renovation" is actually an improvement. My favorite aspect of FDS was that is was the anti-park park. I loved sitting in the concrete jungle in the middle of 6th Avenue and now I have nowhere to go!

Franco!

On Saturday, as I was browsing the Soho H&M, I spotted none other than Daniel Franco, who competed and lost on the past two seasons on my favorite show Project Runway! I was on my way out of the store and it too hot for me to spy, so I left him browsing in the sale rack. This was was a very exciting way for me to kick off fashion week.

Superbowl Minnelli Sunday!

For those of you who don't watch the Superbowl you can watch TWO HOURS of Liza Minnelli on the Actor's Studio on Bravo! Rumor has it that Liza is going to make host James Lipton cry!

For WLS

My friend WLS keeps requesting I send him a photo of Janet Jackson. Well, in honor of this weekend's superbowl and the amount of calories people will be consuming, here are special photos of Janet Jackson AND Mariah Carey who are rumored to be recording a duet together soon. (WLS, fat is back so don't worry about your diet! Look at these two fabulous broads and don't fret as you continue to scarf fried oysters and drink your martinis.)

BunnyBlog Friday

When you see a bunny this big, you can't even think about cats. Some crazy German dude bred a rabbit that is over 3 ft. tall and weighs over 17 lbs. I want a Giant Bunny! I want a Giant Bunny NOW!

Celeb Gossip Round-Up: Fact or Fiction?

This week, I kept encountering insane celebrity gossip and photos that I've read in bits and pieces in papers left on the subway and headlines on random web sites. I'm not even sure if I even read some of this stuff or it just came to me in a dream. I had to take a Benedryl so I'm feeling very Fit Club Jeff Conaway so my brain is kind of muddy. Please let me know if this is all fact or fiction.

1. Lindsay Lohan had the word "breathe" tattooed on her wrist to remind herself of her recent asthma attack. I am thinking I might have the word "Starve" tattooed on my stomach to remind me to diet. Also, she slipped and cut herself in Brian Adams' house in London. Why was she even there? Are they friends? How do they know each other?

2. Jodie Sweetin aka Stephanie Tanner from Full House was a meth addict and had to have an intervention conducted by the Olson Twins, my buddy Bob Saget, and hottie Jon Stamos. She claimed she got hooked on meth cause she was bored after being unemployed at the age of 13. When I was unemployed and bored, I got hooked on Full House.

3. Katie Holmes was photographed wearing the bizarre vagina bodysuit above and Brittney Spears is rumored to be pregnant again. I don't have anything to say about this as the photo above speaks for itself.

4. Heather Locklear is divorcing Richie Sambora? If they can't last, I lose all hope in true love.

Carry On!

I just finished watching my favorite show Project Runway. This week's episode was one of the gayest hours of television I have ever seen. As the competitors make dresses out of flowers, Vosovic comes out on national telvision, Santino impersonates Tim Gunn, Nick talks about beards and Andre mos out over moss. But, the best moment of the entire episode is when Tim Gunn saunters in to see the mess that Andre has made, and exclaims, "Look at this flotsam and jetsam!" Tim Gunn is my new favorite C-list celebrity. He even has his own podcast and blog!

The NomCast Podcast

In honor of today's Oscar nominations we get all film school geeky.

Topics include:

• A full run down of The Noms.

• Dorothy's sexual journey to meet the Wizard.

• The most interesting thing Rachel learned in film school.

• The Selena - L.A.'s hottest car rental.

• Who are the Barrymores of our generation?

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Harvey and Bob

I just received my New York Magazine and there is an article about Harvey and Bob Weinstein. First of all, Bob looks terrible in the photo. Also, how did Harvey score such a hot new babe? I guess money can make any face handsome. I think my favorite part of the article is where Meryl Poster states that Harvey has "evolved." I do have to give them credit for Transamerica. God, it's been ten years since I left Miramax. That's a lifetime ago. I wonder how I've evolved.

Gothgirls

For the past two weeks as part of my downward winter emotional spiral, I've been spending Saturday nights at Goth night at Luke and Leroys. (Needless to say, my outfits are more Go Gos than Goth.) In any case, there were a lot of freaky people totally jamming to the Cure, Smiths and Sisters of Mercy. One woman was all gothed out in a very very short skirt and my friend Kristen and I gasped as she bent over revealing that she was not wearing any panties. The scene was totally the opposite of Marquee or Bungalow and for some reason, I just can't get enough...

Copcast

Cops don't always make the best gentleman. If you are feeling kind and want to be nice to a cop and meet him for drinks to teach him how to podcast, be warned that he might display behaviour that is not becoming of a man who is supposed to be protecting you. He might drink too much, talk about "banging" the lady beside you at the bar and might be bizarrely obsessed with his cell phone. If you need to get a manicure, go to the salon rather than waste time with a horny cop.

Dance With Me

I just came home for a dance class where I danced next to the great Jane Krakowski. While Jane is not necessarily a household name, she is recognizable from her days on Ally McBeal. In any case, this was my first time at this class and to be frank, I'm a terrible dancer. I've always been a little heavy on my feet and have trouble following choreography. To make matters worse, we had to learn a routine to Tyra Banks' song Shake Your Body. For those of you who are long-term readers, you know how that song played a role in the breakup of one of my men in the past so hearing Shake Your Body always kind of pisses me off. The teacher of the class asked if anyone could name the singer and I was the only one who knew that it was Tyra. Then we had to break up into dance performing groups and it was just me, Jane and one other woman and I still couldn't get the steps down. When she found out it was just the three of us, she gave me a look which I couldn't quite interpret.

The Most Depressing Day of the Year

Today is supposedly the most depressing day of the year. I've been having a good day, except I just fell flat on my ass in my apartment. I slipped on an old copy of Life and Style. I think I broke my toe so now I just might be depressed. I like a man that I have absolutely no chance with, so this could also be construed as a depressing situation. Max just bit me on the leg so that kind of bummed me out. I haven't been able to call Todd back so that is sad and I have engagements I'd rather not attend for the rest of the week. And to top it off, I need a manicure but don't have any fucking time to get to the salon. Now, I'm very depressed.

Tuesday Update

I haven't been able to write beause I've been overwhelmed with work. Well, overwhelmed isn't the proper word, but I've been busy. I haven't been so busy in a long time, but it feels good and satisfying to have so much on my mind and unfortunately, my plate.

Don't Cha Cast

Don't cha wish your podcast was raw like this?

Rachel and Todd wax poetic this week on...

• Globes all over the Golden Globes.

•The End of the Spear - The Year's Hotest Gay Porno.

• How Margaret Thatcher ruined Rachel's love life.

• How the recorder is kinda not like a kazoo.

• Which waiter to stay away from at this week's location, the Westway Diner.


As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Why Me?

Nancy Kerrigan has to be questioning her career status on the new Fox Show Skating with Celebrities. She's paired with former Full House Star Dave Coulier who was" just asked, "What would you rather have in your arms-a hockey stick or Nancy?" He didn't have an answer to the question.

Dave Coulier is becoming a professional celebreality presence after his appearance on the the Surreal Life. Actually, despite the fact that I'd never want to bug Coulier in the middle of dinner, I prefer him over Kerrigan who I never quite thought was that talented or interesting. My favorite skater of all time is, of course, Brian Boitano.

The Recorder

Due to the loss of my saxophone, I've been forced to play the recorder again. My cat hates it and attacks me as I play. I now have a scratch across my left cheek making me look like Marla Hanson. Please send me some sheet music so I can learn some songs.

Best Films of 2006

I wrote this weeks ago, but I had to see a couple more movies before my final posting. Here's my Top 10 of 2006.

1. The Queen
2. Borat
3. Tristam Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story
4. Volver
5. Marie Antoinette
6. A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
7. The Devil Wears Prada
8. Stranger Than Fiction
9. Children of Men
10. Babel

Best performances of the year:
Best Actress: Helen Mirren in the Queen
Best Actor: Sascha Baron Cohen in Borat
Supporting Actress: Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada
Supporting Actor: (Tie) Jackie Earl Haley in Little Children and Eddie Murphy in Dreamgirls

Big Black Hole Tuesday: Golden Globes Edition

After a long weekend, the Golden Globes have left me pondering some of these big questions on a Tuesday. Female stars such as Drew Barrymore, Mariah Carey and Queen Latifah, however, have proved why they call this awards show "The Globes."

1. Who wrote that crazy opening song to the tune of the Pussycat Doll's "Dontcha?" Am I imagining the lyric when Anthony Hopkins appeared--"Hannibal Lecter is licking his lips to taste the Cecil B?" That is so bad it's funny.
2. What's the deal with Kevin Bacon's hair? Who told him that it is OK to go out of the house looking like that? And does he have the same stylist as Tim Robbins?
3. Since when is it OK to show the side of your boobs or sagging boobs? What were Drew and Barrymore thinking?
4. Who keeps telling Penelope Cruz that she looks good with bit hair and that she can speak English?.
5. Who cares about Emmy Rossum?
6. Who has the most self esteem out of the following: George Clooney, Deborah Messing or Steven Speilberg?

Ask MJ Cat: Friday Catblog

MJ Cat just earned his PhD in Cultural Studies from Trinity Online University. So, now MJ is able to answer questions and offer advice on any topic. Think of MJ Cat as a foxier furrier Dear Abby. From love advice to fashion tips to Oscar race predictions, MJ Cat has an answer for everything.
>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<

Dear MJ Cat: Should I get a new car?--Deirdre, NY NY

Dear D: I'm a city cat so I've never been in car. The only benefit of having a car in general for me would be so that I can easily travel across state lines. Cats aren't allowed on Amtrak or Greyhound. I wouldn't care what kind of car I had as long as it took me safely through the tunnel.

Dear MJ Cat: I work 12 hour days and can't seem to get to the gym. What should I do about my exercise regime?-J, New York, NY

Dear J: First of all, you need to structure your work time more efficiently so that your work/life balance is in check. If someone dangles the cat dancer in front of you, you don't always have to jump. One of the most highly effective habits of a successful cat is to spend some time each morning structuring and prioritizing both your work and your personal tasks and sticking to your plan. My other recommendation is to join the gym at work and setting time aside on your calendar to go three times per week.

Dear MJ: Do you like cat booties?--Brunettie, York, PA

Dear Brunettie: I don't play well with other felines, so I don't get to see a lot of cat ass.

Dear MJ: How do you stay regular? Zel Norm, NYC

Dear Zel: I watch my diet and eat food strong in protein and fiber. Also, don't eat too much cellophane cause that definitely stops me up.

Santino's Sarcasm

As much as I loved Austin Scarlett last year on Project Runway, I dislike Santino on the second season. I do think he's talented, but he's an asshole. Tonight he even insulted Michael Kors stating that the average Banana Republic shopper never heard of Kors because Kors has an "older" clientele. Kors should have kicked off his greasy-haired ass off the show on the spot. I hope that Daniel Vosovik wins. I miss Austin so I'm reposting my all-time favorite photo of him.

Salchow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Traditionally, January is my month of hibernation where I diet, experiment with my hair and watch tons of television. Thank god for Project Runway and American Idol. I am also looking forward to Fox's new reality show Skating with Celebrities which I predict may be one of the best TV shows EVER. Where else can you see Nancy Kerrigan double with Dave Coulier or Debbie Gibson get thrown on her face by Kurt Browning? Also, the host is the fantastic Scott Hamilton! I am so excited that I'm doing backflips here in my studio.

Sloppy Seconds Ain't My Style

Just when celebreality could not get any better, this week on Celebrity Fit Club Jeff Conaway aka Kenickie OD's on Benadryl and gets a lecture on prescription drug abuse from Chastity Bono. I'm not making this up. Watch it to believe it.

A Very Good Cat

I would like to dedicate today's post to Colin, my catblogging friend Jazz' cat. Losing a pet is a difficult so today give your pet a hug and a treat in memory of Colin who we know was "a very good cat."

The Astmaticast Podcast

Rachel and Todd catch their breath at L’Angolo and discuss the first week of 2006.

Topic include…

• Asthma—it’s not just for the weird kid anymore.

• Todd’s new beard—is it working?

• The Tale of Sweeney Rachel (and Todd)

• Will Rachel’s hot new brunette locks snag the Baldo?

• The best gefilte fish is your own gefilte fish.


As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Drunk in the Candy Store

The New York Post reported today that a mom is suing Applebee's for getting her kid loaded on a Long Island Iced Tea. The mother became suspicious when the kid started rolling around on the table and licking the bread basket. She tasted his apple juice and found out it was a Long Island Iced Tea. Now the mother is claiming the kid is having terrifying nightmares where he is spinning and the calls them "Applebee's" nightmares.

When I was a kid about that age, I also loved alcoholic beverages. If I was ever in a bar no floater beer would go unturned and I put Creme de mente on my iced cream whenever it was offered. Last week at work, somebody brought in a entire case of those chocolate liquor-filled candies which I announced I used to love as a kid, much to everyone's shock.

Booze is like TV for kids. I don't go crazy over TV or drink that much anymore because I had my fill as a child.

Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

Max's New House
Originally uploaded by redrachel.

Here I am in my new cathouse. I'm still recovering from the New Year and am breaking out all over my little cat chin. I hate cat acne.

Asthma is the New Black

According to the New York Post, Lindsay Lohan celebrated the New Year with a hard-core asthma attack. For those of you who know me, in October I also had an asthma attack that sent me to the ER. I've been coughing ever since. I like to think that asthma is the new health trend problem taking over such outdated 90's illnesses as Epstein-Barr and manorexia. Asthma is the new "in-condition" of 2006. I am hoping this trend sparks such accessories as jewel-encrusted autohalers, Cartier nebulizers and Louis Vuitton leather Peak Flow meter belt bags. Perhaps people will start ODing on Singulair. I'm finally proud and happy to admit that I have asthma. Thanks, Lindsay.

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

After the New Year, I always say that it's a downward spriral towards Valentine's Day. This year, I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and look forward to the following:

1. Martin Luther King Day: This is the day I like to eat dim sum and go to the movies.
2. Dieting. I fell off the wagon and am waiting for the compliments to come again.
3. American Idol keeps me going through the winter.
4. Awards Show Season

Happy New Year!

This past weekend was so fabulous and fun that I spent today making a movie to immortalize bringing in 2006 with my core karaoke crew Kristen, Ken and Alex. I hope your celebrations were as happy as ours.

To watch click here.

The Year of the Podcast Podcast

It's the YEAR OF THE PODCAST, so Rachel and Todd are counting down their favorite moments of 2005 live on tape from the Grey Dog Cafe

On the show this week, Rachel and Todd discuss:

• why some cats like the movie Crash

• the Pros and Cons of the Brit.

• why Rachel wants to be taken the Candy Shop

• their favorite celebrity outbursts.

• and their love for their listeners.

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Best Films of 2005

Well, I've seen a billion movies and it's time for my annual list. 2005 was an excellent year for movies.


1. A History of Violence
2. Last Days
3. Squid and the Whale
4. Brokeback Mountain
5. Keane
6. The Intruder
7. In Her Shoes
8. Match Point
9. Millions
10. Batman Begins

Back on the WW Wagon

Well, after gaining 10lbs. during the holiday feeding frenzy, I'm back on the WW Extreme diet. Wish me luck. I want to be back to my fighting weight by Valentine's Day. Also, please excuse my crankiness as I'll be living off of pickles, celery and raw fish for the next 6 weeks.

Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

As a holiday treat, I thought you might enjoy some adolescent photos of me taken around 1985. One of my favorite after-school activities was dressing up in vintage 50's dresses and dancing around with stuffed animals or posing with rifles.

Holiday Greetings from the Upper Crust

Every holiday season I look forward to the "Best of" lists and the nysocialdiary.com round-up of socialite holiday cards. Please provide your own comments as this collage overwhelms me again this year.

Happy Holidays from MJ Cat!

I'm spending the holidays alone but I want to wish all of you a happy holiday season full of good catnip, dangling toys and Pounce treats!

The Men of 2005

This is a list of the best (not all) of the men I dated in 2005. These are the men who inspired me, drove me crazy, consumed me and pissed me off and, yet, made my year memorable. While my friends think I had a good year, I think it has been kind of boring compared to last year which was full of drunks, skunks and spankers. This year kicked off with Liev Schreiber toasting the New Year with me which I hoped would be a sign of a good year to come.

The Slow Zone (January-May)
The Slow Zone is a guy I met up with at the Zog's New Year's Eve party. I already met him before because he dated a friend of mine when they were in college and I knew him slightly from the comedy scene. He was very attentive at first. I even confessed to my friend that I met him and that things were heating up knowing this would upset her. In any case, he suddenly started making excuses about how he had to work all the time and he kept me hanging for months. Then, I found out that The Slow Zone is his actual nickname among women in New York City. If you meet the Slow Zone, be careful because he cannot commit.

Chris x 3 (Spring)
As things were slowing down with the Slow Zone, I found myself dating three guys named Chris. Although it was very confusing, I thought that perhaps the trinity of three men named Chris might symbolize the resurrection of my love life at that time.

The Widower (May-August)
The Widower was a really nice guy and I really liked him. Unfortunately, he found my blog and podcast and every conversation we ended up having became about how he didn't want to ever be mentioned in the blog or on the podcast. We ended up arguing about this on a nightly basis. I told him to stay away from my media because it was upsetting him so much. In any case, he got back together with an old girlfriend and according to my stats, I don't think he's reading this blog anymore.

The Italian Snack (November)
He's Italian, 23 years old and lives around the corner. What else do I need to explain? I have a feeling he'll text me in 2006.

The Brit (May-present)
Although we met in May, things didn't heat up until late summer. He's sometimes cranky and sometimes sweet, but he's the best man I've met and he puts up with all my shit and he is extremely supportive and encouraging in all my endeavors. Oh, and he sends me hand-painted postcards in the mail.

The Architect (January 2003-present)
Despite the fact that I haven't seen him in over a year, he got married and his new wife is pregnant, he is still around via email and IM. I told the Brit about him and he wants me to send the lascivious notes he sends me to his new wife. I, however, don't think that is such a good idea.

Strike!

The Transit System is shut down which means that I'm working from home today. This is kind of like a snow day for urban adults, but without the sledding! Of course, I found out there is that one goody-goody from work who rode his bike to the office and will probably be bragging out this for the rest of his life. All I can say, it's going to be a very cold ride home for him across the 59th Street Bridge. As for me, I just did a load of darks and am getting ready for a conference call. Max attacked my tuna sandwich so I had to make another one. I love the strike!

Do They Know It's Babylon Podcast

And in our world of plenty
This week, Todd celebrate the holidays (like all Jews do)at the Chinese restaurant.

"We can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world
At Christmas Time"

-Boy George
This week on the podcast we deck the halls, light the menorah and discuss

• our love/hate relationship with Santa

• how Judy Bloom ruined Christmas

• all about the holiday songs that matter

• this week's inappropriate fur joke

• just how "Chinese" is the Coffee ice-cream?

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Holiday Party Wrap-Up

I've been out every night at various holiday parties so I haven't been able to blog. Here's some highlights:

Best food: Shauna's mango-glazed ham
Most annoying guest: Broken-nosed photographer guy at Collette's party who tried to get all the girls to pose nude
Most Snacks: All the young media buyers at Google's client party
Worst Food: Company holiday party gave me a bad bad stomach the next day.

Most Awkward Moment of 2005

Tonight I got to an industry-related holiday party and try to make conversation with an account representative. I was running out of topics so I asked if someone I used to know still worked at his company. He then put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but he's dead." I didn't know what to say and there was this awkward five minute pause. Out of all the people that work there, why did I have to mention the one that died tragically young?

Match Point

Along with my love Benicio del Toro, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is my second top celebrity hunk. I don't understand why he's not a bigger star. Todd and I saw Match Point tonight and I Rhys-Meyers was as exciting and sexy as Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia. Anyway, today I went top the gyno and he found another lump in my breast and also told me that I better think about getting pregnant soon because I'm not getting any younger. Well, Benny or Johnny, if you are reading this, I'm ready to become the mother of your child. I'll even vote for you for best actor in our podcast awards!

The Gift that Never Gets Given

What does it mean when someone you care about DEMANDS that you do not buy him a gift? And what does it mean if you love buying gifts? I don't have an answer to this dilemma.

Vadar Had Jumped the Shark

My good friend Todd has pointed out what the best/scariest online promotion I have ever seen in all my years as a marketer. Burger King as teamed up with Star Wars to create a site where Darth Vadar can actually guess what you are thinking. It really works. Todd got it to guess vagina and I got it guess sphincter. Try it. You will be so amazed you will definitely be craving a whopper.

What I Want for Cat-mas: Friday Catblog by MJ Cat

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Originally uploaded by redrachel.

The holidays are approaching so while you are out shopping, don't forget to buy something for your favorite cat. Here's my list for Santa:
1. New Alpine Cat Scratcher
2. Little furry mice
3. Catnip-filled cigars
4. Cat spa
5. Doritos

The Untouchables

When I was in college, there was this group of untouchable boys who would leave me kind of tongue-tied and nervous whenever I had to interact with them. One of the members of this group was a guy named John McCouch who now plays a hot stud on a soap opera. John was my partner in dance class so he introduced me to some of his "untouchable" hot friends. John had this good friend named Casey who was in an English class of mine. Whenever I had to interact with Casey, I was immediately reduced to my adolescent state as Casey always had the prettiest and most sophisticated girlfriends on campus. At the same time, Casey always had time to say hello to me which I interpreted as pity.

Well, tonight, after 15 yrs. of unrequited love and forgotten fantasy, I ended up actually having dinner and drinks with Casey and was disturbed when I realized that he's actually a nice, approachable and decent guy. I'm mad at myself for being such a low self-esteemed moron when I was 19 yrs. old. Casey is on his second wife, so perhaps if and when he's ready for his third, I will need to make my intentions known.

Things I Hated 2005

It is that time of the year when I list all the things I hated in 2005. For last year's list, you can click here.

1. Tyra Banks. I'm sick of her and wish she and wish she would just disappear.
2. Hal Spark's commentary on VH-1 shows. He's not funny and he talks too much and I dread seeing him on TV.
3. Skinny celebrities going out in fat suits to see what it's like to be treated as a fake fat person.
4. When men I like get too tied up with their work to call me daily.
5. Danny Bonnaduce and Christopher Knight. I hated them then and I hate them now.
6. My doctor. He's not helping me get over this bad cough and I can't even get an appointment with him.
5. Max (my cat) biting me on the calf when he doesn't want me to leave in the morning.
6. Dieting. It still does and will always suck.
7. TomKat, but everyone kind of hates them. I just feel very sad because I used to like Tom.
8. I am very upset that my local laundromat has closed down and I have nowhere close to go to do my darks. I hate this situation and I hate the mean man who runs the place I now go to on Carmine Street.
9. Running out of toilet paper
10. Current wives of ex-boyfriends
11. I hate it when I ask for a raise at work and I'm told to get another job and they can match it. Why do companies play that game? It just seems so stupid.
12. I hate the jeans section at Bloomingdales. It is too overwhelming.
13. I hate growing out my hair.
14. I hate waiting at the nail salon.
15. Rain. I hate it when it rains.
16. I hate being invited to weddings without a date.
17. I hate cleaning the bathroom.
18. Smelly homeless people on the subway
19. The customer service people for Sprint PCS
20. Sunburns
21. Itchy feet
22. Paris Hilton and all the gossip that surrounds her. It's boring now.
23. mayo
24. ketchup
25. cheese
26. relish
27. I hate that Clinique has discontinued Gentle Light makeup.
28. I hate when Todd forgets the proper equipment to record the podcast and we have to use his digital camera.
29. I hated working in Hoboken, but I took care of that.
30. I hate when my friends don't live up to their potential and don't take risks to change their lives.
31. I hate being single when I'm sick. I don't have anyone to clean up the puke or make me soup.
32. I hate Mark McGrath as a host on Access Hollywood.
33. I hate when my leg cramps at the movies.
34. The way my cat won't eat out of the bowl and only food from off the floor
35. cab motion sickness
36. I hate finding out someone I like has a substance abuse problem and I was too stupid to know it.
37. Buying my own drinks.
38. I hate worrying about terrorist attacks.
39. 9:00AM Monday morning meetings.
40. Current celebrity perfumes including the stinky ones by Britney Spears and Sarah Jessica Parker.
41. Pet abuse
42. People taking credit for other people's works.
43. People who use big words in order to appear smart, but really talk straight out of their asses.
44. Inefficient clerks at check-out counters
45. Dick Cheney
46. I hate leaving Max alone by himself when I go away.
47. I hate when my iPod crashes and the fear that I can instantly lose days and days of downloading.
48. I hate the cost of good bras.
49. I hate visiting people. My friends are starting to complain but I prefer to be in my own town in my apartment.
50. Allergies and asthma

The Lion, the Witch and the Podcast...

A game of hide-and-go-seek takes Rachel and Todd on a trip way beyond R. Kelly's closet and into a world beyond your imagination.

Highlights include:

• Narnia - It's E.T. good.

• She bops a we bop

• Billy Joel's Italian secret

• Fear the glockenspiel, love the skin flute

• Peta approved podcast procedure


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(just search for Beware of the Babylon and subscribe)

Catblog Friday: Tabby Stowaway is Reunited with Her Person!

MJ Cat is busy working on his holiday cards, but he wanted to let you all know that is cousin Emily was reunited with her person after her ordeal where she ran away from home and stowed away for three weeks in a shipping container headed to France.

These Boots Are Made for Walking

It's that time of the year where mid-tier department stores like Macy's and Lord & Taylor conduct their annual holiday friends and family sales. I never thought I'd ever say this, but I am Friends-and-Familied out. Everything is starting to look the same from year to year and low-rent cashmere still pills even with the additional 20% off the 40% sale price. I have decided these stores must repeat these big huge sales so you can replace all the crap that either got worn out or was too trendy from the year before. The only thing I saw that I REALLY wanted was not on sale and those were the Tara Subkoff for Easy Spirit boots. I just can't justify or afford paying almost $500 for Easy Spirit shoes. If, however, you are reading this and you are from another country and DO NOT know what to buy me for Xmas, I am a size 37.5 or 38 and would also love the fur scarf at Bergdorf Goodman. (You know who you are!)