Carted Off

Today, my office neighbor disappeared from The Bank. I just told my mother that someone was "carted off" from The Bank and she asked me if "carted off" was an official banking term like "reorg." She also said that my sister uses the term "partnering" and that is also a madeup word. I told her that "carted off" was not an official banking term, but that when you are fired from the bank, you must leave immediately and are "carted off" by a security guard. I was upset about this all day, and was just about to blog about the situation when I noticed that ANP already posted the story in her blog. I also noticed that she uses the term "carted someone away." So perhaps "carted off" is a banking term. In any case, here is her report:

They carted someone away from The Bank today. No drama; no jack-booted thugs. Just a quick "I'm so sorry I can't say goodbye to all of you personally" email from a woman whose cute skirt I had complimented just hours before.


Happier times

And then she was gone.

All of this was made more confusing by the fact that her name was scrolling during the big town hall offsite meeting powerpoint, heralding her as one of the newest members of our team.

Since 90% of what 90% of the people at The Bank do is simply diagram plays yet not actually run any of them (diatribe against what I like to call "Running The Baseline" forthcoming), the office was atwitter with allegations, lies, and other things that none of us could prove.

Did she fail her piss test like that other dude who got booted off the CFO team?
Did she lie about graduating from college?
Did she get arrested and not mention it on her employment application?

(I didn't, but the judge told me not to; I had to come up with the "this was supposed to be expunged" paperwork and it was all good.)

It seems it might have been more complicated than all of that and related to the fact that we work at The Bank. They gave me weeks to come up with my arrest paperwork; they didn't cart me away instantly.

All I know is that I feel sad and I wish that whatever happened, my former colleague had been in a place where she could have been upfront about whatever it is that came up during her background check. I feel badly that she was so ashamed about it that she pretended it didn't exist and did not disclose.

And even though I ran over and gave her a big hug the second I read her email and just before she left the 31st floor forever, I wish I could give her another one.

I still have the nice card she gave me to congratulate me for the debut of my one woman show. She had just started as a consultant then.

* sigh *

Well, shucks.

The upside for everyone not equal to her is that we're now hiring for her replacement.

* sigh *

For the record, I've never been arrested.