Gemma Massot: Where in the hell are you?

The woman on the right used to be my very close friend and ward named Gemma Massot. I would like to get back in touch with her. If any of you can find her or have her information, please contact me! I miss her!

Flirt Cosmetics

Vanessa Manilo aka Nick Lachey's girlfriend unveiled her new line of cosmetics today. Despite the fact that I can't imagine that Manilo's brand is worthy of a cosmetic licensing deal, I'm curious why all of Lachey's broads are forced to whore themselves to "create" their own cosmetic lines. Remember Jessica Simpson's failed of Dessert products which you could lick off your woman which was first sold as high-end at Sephora and then low-end at Walmart and then went out of business? Does Lachey have some kind of stock in some lipstick producing factory? Please explain this to me.

Dutch

To all you suitors out there, I hate going dutch. Either you pay or I pay, but going dutch is just not sexy and you lose any chance of hitting even first base after splitting the check, so don't even try.

Thumbs Up, Roger!

For months, I've been wondering where Roger Ebert has been hiding. Ebert has always been one of my favorite popular film critics. Roger Ebert has suffered a long bout recoving from salivary gland cancer and due to some unsuccessful operations he has lost his ability to speak. Roger, I don't care what you look like! I look forward to reading more of your reviews soon! Read his touching story in the Chicago Sun Times here.

Frenemies in the News

Here's a roundup of my friends and enemies in current news:
1. My former rich employer sues Bronfman for $100million and accuses him of being stupid. Bronfman accues Snyder of being a "hanger on." I'm not sure who to believe but I hope this suit isn't costing me any tax dollars.
2. Mrs. Seinfeld won't comment on what she has or what doesn't have. I have no comment about this either.
3. Russel Simmons demands "no mo hos."

New Beast in Babylon

A woman in my 30's, I'm constantly receiving endless birth announcements from my friends having human babies. I, however, would like to salute the nontraditional new members into the nycbabylon family. These cats, dogs, horses, fish and other beasts continue to bring joy and purpose into the lives of my fabulous single friends. For this reason, I'd like to congratulate my dear friend Deirdre on the arrival of her new beast, Ryley Horse Silver.

Don't Waste the Pretty

Back in 2005, I was on a mission to "not waste the pretty." Somewhere since this period, I've lost sight of my own mission. After recent layoffs at work, my good pal leaving the bank, and a recent selection of bad dates, I decided to get back on track with my mission statement. From this day forward, I WILL NOT WASTE THE PRETTY.

What does this mean? This means that I alone am responsible for my happiness. If men, work and friends are not providing me with what I need to be happy, I will make strong efforts to express these needs in order to resolve and change the situation. This effort, in turn, will make myself accountable again for my own success and happiness.

So, heads up. I'm back.

I'm pretty. Don't fuck with me.

Sign of the Whippet

Many people know that 4 leaf clovers or shooting stars can be a sign of good luck, but very few know about the Magical Sign of the Whippet. The more whippets you spot within shorter period of time, the more luck you will have for the following day and week. Today I spotted 3 whippets which means this should be an excellent week.

Shear Genius Expose!

We're only into the second week, but I had an insider's tip about Rene Fris, the Tim Gunn wanna be on Bravo's new reality series Shear Genius. The bio includes the following information. My tipster also commented on the Bravo site, but his post was removed! The Fris coverup is becoming one of the greatest scams in reality TV show history!

Fris' accolades have included: Head Stylist at Elizabeth Arden's
Red Door
Salon at Saks 5th Avenue, Celebrity Stylist for John Frieda Salons,
Grooming
Specialist on the TV series “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” in
Europe,
author of two best selling men's and women's grooming books, owner
of an
internationally acclaimed product line bearing his name, and a
successful
modeling career with the Wilhelmina Modeling Agency. He has shaped the careers
of hundreds of stylists, and the list of celebrities and
models that have
passed through his doors is endless

.

According to my source, this claim above is a complete
lie. Fris was actually fired from John Frieda for not bringing in clients, let
alone celebrities. Also, since when is Saks considered a celebrity salon? If you
look at Fris' personal site, his editorial work is mediocre at best. Since when
is Euroman a high-fashion hair magazine? As for the products, if they are not at
Ricky's then they don't exist.

I'm Safe

I'm safe but don't really want to discuss it.

Pink Wednesday

So, tomorrow is the day anywhere from 15,000-45,000 are getting pink slipped at the bank and I still fear I could be one of them. If I'm safe, tomorrow is still going to suck because there is nothing worse than working in corporate America and seeing people lose their jobs. During the dot com bust, I was layed off TWICE which marked a terrible period emotionally, physically and financially for me and I would hate for me or anyone else to face the challenges of searching for a good job while making ends meet at a demeaning part-time job, fearing an accident while being unable to afford health insurance and most of all feeling isolated and rejected. Some people I work with have stated they'd be thrilled to be canned. Well, these people should just resign and save the job for someone who actually needs/wants to work. So, I'm going to put on my navy blue suit tommorrow morning and watch the other shoe drop.

D-Listers

While this video is fascinating due to the bizarre Tinsley Mortimer fashion shoot, what really captured my attention is the editor-in-chief Devorah and socialite Wannabe stylist Gregory. I don't know much about these two except that they are ALL OVER myspace and share friends with some of my friends. Before this video was mocked by Gawker and Socialite Ranks, these two social climbers had public profiles on myspace which I somehow became entranced with while browsing through profiles one evening. (Yes, I'm a loser.) I know that Gregory hosts parties with some very big tall broad named Kelly, Devorah has some little dog named Stella and her main claim to fame is that she's best friends with Joan Lunden's daughter. They hang out at Marquee and Bungalow and still think the Hamptons is pretty cool.

Cat Rides Bus

Somewhere in England, this cat takes the bus to get fish and chips. So, perhaps we are not joking when we say MJ Cat is out at Magnolia pawing the cupcakes or going for a rat snack and Kentaco.

Read the article here.

Happy Easter!

Above, is the winning peeps diarama from the York Daily Record contest. They really know how to have a good time in our Nation's First Capital.

Madonna Weeps

This is a billboard in London.

Phone Etiquette

Something that drives me crazy is when I call someone (usually a parent) and they unexpectedly "put someone on the phone" which can include someone you haven't spoken to in 20 yrs, your old pediatrician, your 3rd grade gym teacher or an old boyfriend. This, of course, is excused if the person is your spouse or child and lives with you. First of all, if I am calling you, I am calling you and not the person you want to put on the phone. This puts everyone in a bad position. Here's why:
1. I may owe this person a phone call and by you telling them it is me on the phone shows that I have time to call you, but not them.
2. I may only have time to talk to you from work and want to call this person back when I can savor the conversation.
3. This person may not want to talk to me.
4. This person might be busy or distracted and not have time to talk.
5. I could have had a huge fight with this person or secret romantic relations and now you are putting everyone on the spot in a public space.
6. I could be running out of free minutes.
7. I could have nothing to say to this person and vice versa creating a very awkward phone convo.

There are many other possibilities, but I hope you learned that if you are in situation where you might feel compelled to "put someone on" and you see it is me, don't pick up the fucking phone!

P.S. Steph, you fall under "2" and I still owe you a call!

Pollen

So, the pollen count is high as hell and I've been at home dying for the past 30 hours. My lungs are tight and I've taken so much Benedryl, I feel like Anna Nicole about to kick it at the Hard Rock.

Don't Hang the DJ

So, last night, I debuted my new DJ career at Luv. Let me tell you, DJing is hot and hard. We kept the place full during our entire set. Also, I'd really like to thank all my great friends who came to support us. For those of you who ignored the invite, you missed one hell of a time!