Thursday, December 21, 2006

Men of 2006

This is a list of the best (not all) of the men I dated in 2006. These are the men who inspired me, drove me crazy, consumed me and pissed me off and, yet, made my year memorable. Like last year, I did not find true love but at least I did not relive the insanity of 2004's drunks, skunks and spankers. I'm still optimistic and I think I'm making better choices so let's hope that perhaps that I will not be writing this annual list in the next couple of years.

The Brit (May 2005-January 2006)
I wrote about the Brit last year and his sweet painted postcards he sent me in the mail. On New Year's day of last year, the Brit disappeared. I finally received a note from him in February that he was depressed and he would contact me when he recovered. I heard from him finally some time in the Spring, but by then, he was crossed off the list.

Hojo Fantasy (?)
I can't say when the Hojo Fantasy began, but he is truly a fantasy. I sometimes think that he just likes me liking him and other times as he brushes up against my knee or makes a flirtatious remark, I wonder if perhaps the desire is returned or he just enjoys playing me the fool. I don't know why I allow Hojo's fickle attention to distract me from eligible and realistic suitors, but I do. Whenever there is a break in my dating, it is because I am focused on him.

Fawlty Towers (April-June)
I didn't date anyone for a couple of months after the Brit trauma, but I made the awful mistake of dating another Brit hotelier who lived in my neighborhood half the time or as he used to say "in the trees" for the other half. I can't say anything about bad him except that after a couple of months, I received an email from him about how "nice" I am and then I never heard from him again. Actually, he was kind of boring.

Mr. Wrong (August-October)
Mr. Wrong was my West Coast man for a couple of months. All I can say is, when I visited him in October he was rude to me and abandoned me at a party in the Hollywood Hills. I hate LA.

Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner (August-October)
The fun loving Vespa-driving Scotsman provided some real fun. Unfortunately, he informed me after a handful of dates that he didn't eat dinner. He doesn't eat after 2PM. I don't know if this was an excuse to not take me out to dinner, but in any case, I need to see a man who eats dinner.

No Moore (September)
He's hardly worth writing about except for the fact that I had the best date of the year with this guy but never saw him again. There were a couple of follow-up text messages, but that was it. I wonder what happened to him.

The Boss (November-present)
I am definitely one of the Boss' many women. The Boss is 50 and doesn't really seem to work so he has a lot of time to pick of girls and boss them around. He's actually the only man who has ever captured my attention by making a joke about my "embouchure" and also who made the moves on me in a cafe ladies room. My friend thinks the boss is good for me and that because I like working at the bank, being bossed around is not such a bad thing for me. She thinks that perhaps I need more bossing in my personal life and should keep him in rotation. Despite my better judgment, I like him and hope we at least remain friends. Oh, and he looks like Michael J. Fox.

Spicoli (December-present)
I just met Spicoli last weekend and he's already been over for dinner. Spicoli is the opposite of the boss. He's very "chill." He leaned over the bar and said, "You're cute" and then he kissed me. We ended up making out at the Dark Room for the rest of the night to the soundtrack of the Smiths and New Order. Spicoli kind of reminds me of my high school man Chip. Spicoli also has very nice dark hair and a tight bod. He, however, called me last night at 1:30AM to chat.

The Architect (January 2003-present)
I ran into the Architect over the summer on the street and he continues to solicit me despite his new baby and wife. I'm starting to think he knows he should have been sweeter in 2003. In July, he actually showed up at my apartment late at night, but when I let him in he freaked out and had a panic attack and ran home. He has since apologized but I haven't seen him again.

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