Friday, June 29, 2007

The Jewel of the Village

Gawker has this funny series where some guy speaks to himself in the not so recent past. Today, the guy spoke to his former self about The Jewel Theater aka 100 Third Avenue. As my close friends know, I once lived above the Jewel. Here is an account of my time there from this blog.

Many of you might remember during the late 90's, I lived in an illegal apartment above a gay porn theater on lower third avenue. My roommates included a despotic skirt-wearing Iranian and his caffeine-addicted girlfriend, a Japanese guy named Aki who had a well-known acoustic act at the Sidewalk Cafe, a photo student from Cooper Union named Joanna and Melissa, an eccentric girl who lived in the back room we called the "Anne Frank Suite." While I would be sitting in my room quietly watching Fashion Emergency, Jo and Melissa were having a secret affair breaking up the entire fabric of our dysfunctional family. The affair even inspired the song "Joanna" recorded by the late great band The Cogs. Jo was forced to move out of the apartment by her controlling boyfriend in the middle of the night after he learned she was "licking ditches" with the crazy girl from the Anne Frank Suite. She skipped out on the rent and left the apartment in the middle of the night. I've lost touch with all these people but I did get an email from Melissa informing me of her current whereabouts via this interview on Gothamist. She's now driving a cab. Read the interview here. Now, I wish I knew what happened to Aki. He was a nice guy.

I left out the part where I actually had to use the Jewel bathroom after the skank owner decided to remodel ours and removed my toilet for a few weeks. So, I spent more time in the Jewel than you can imagine. The Gawker article paints even a seedier picture of what was going on upstairs. Oh, how I miss Clinton the 90's. Be sure to read about it here.

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