Team Kim Richards

I have to confess, I actually teared up during the finale of Housewives of Beverly Hills. I hate admitting that I watched it and all season and that I was mesmerized with Camille Grammer's plastic surgery. But, the real star of this reality series was Kim Richards and I'm on Team Kim and and think Kyle is the meanest and most vindictive person I have ever witnessed on reality TV. Kyle holds such unresolved resentment and bitterness toward her sister and her willingness to belittle Kim on national television  was inexcusable no matter what has happened between them throughout the years. I feel disgusted that BRAVO actually aired this (although it was gripping.) The relationships of sisters is complicated and sometimes messy, but despite the fights I have my sister, I would NEVER go into it on an Andy Cohen orchestrated show on BRAVO. After seeing this episode and crying at the severity at the end, I wanted to say I love my sister Ellen and no matter what happens between us, I WILL NEVER GO KYLE RICHARDS ON YOU and I know you will never leave me crying alone in the back of a limo on BRAVO. Love you, sis.

Emmy's 2009 Madame Award

The winner of the 2009 Emmy Madame Award is......

Cicely Tyson!

Here Comes the Sun?

I've been in a rut. I'm at that point in my life where all my friends have babies and I'm home Friday night watching and enjoying The Ex List on CBS. But nothing depresses more these days that the new retro Mohegan Sun ads commercial on TV which they slaughter 80s pop songs and turn them into lyrics about visting the casino. What makes me most angry is that I make up songs like this all the time and my talent is being wasted. Also, I pitched a similar idea as The Ex List over ten years ago.

Donna Martin Graduates!

I am watching the new 90210 which is making me feel old and nostalgic. When I was in college, 90210 was a BIG DEAL with me and my friends. And, it was the first show I can remember that actually had a summer season so I spent time watching it with my old high school friends as well. I have to confess I even had a Luke Perry poster on my door junior year. I would watch with my good friends Al, Phil, Max, Dupes and Ro (yes all straight men) and we were obsessed. I think the boys even splurged on the dolls. Then, there was a season where I had to work at the coffee house during 90210 so I would actually carry my 13" TV across campus and set it up behind the counter. My college graduation coincided with the high school graduation of the kids from West Beverly High. I remember sitting in my room and watching with my friends and actually crying. So, welcome back 90210. I hope it's as good as the first round and I actually teared up when I Joe Tata just had a cameo.

xoxo

Not since the heyday of Melrose place, have I been as satisfied with a night time drama as I now am with Gossip Girl. Tonight's episode was hilarious and I won't give any spoilers except to say I HATE GEORGINA! She is the most evil character and her bad ways are making Chuck seem like an angel. The line tonight about making out with investment bankers at PJ Clarkes was especially hilarious.

Bret Michael's Rock of Hair

So, Bret chose Ambre (yes, that's how the ho spells it) but most importantly, he reveals how he revealed some insight into his hair and bandanna on dlisted today. I wonder if he gets his hair done by Paves.

My hair is combined of my hair and the finest extensions Europe has to offer. I do the show without it on all the time and they wont film me. They are like, “Put your bandanna back on. It is your image.” It is my signature thing.

Greatest Babylon TV Moments

As the TV season begins to pick up after the long WGA strike, I'd like to celebrate by listing some of my personal favorite TV moments from the past.

1. Kimberly's Wig Out on Melrose Place

Still sends a chill through my spine after all this time.
2. Daisy's Gratitude on Rock of Love 2

This is a recent entry, but Daisy's reaction to Brett choosing her despite all her skanks secrets confirms why I am still single.
3. We Are a Family from NBC 60th Anniversary Special

This never gets old.

Flavor of Rock of Love of NYCBABYLON!

When I can't sleep, I watch bad vh1 Celebreality, especially Flavor of Love with Flava Flav and Rock of Love with Brett Michaels. I find it fascinating that women are competing to get with these two washed up unappetizing has beens. Yet, the women are really trashy themselves. Anyway, my favorite part of the shows are the "competitions" where the hos compete in ridiculous challenges to "win" dates with the guys. For example, Brett had women so far compete in a peep booth showdown and a USO talent show. So, I decided, if I ever have my own reality show where men compete to get with me, here are the challenges:

1. Clean my Apartment Challenge-The man who does the best job cleaning my apartment without complaining gets a date with me. This is a big challenge cause my place is not neat.
2. Teach Max a new trick-The man who can teach MJ Cat a worthwhile cat trick with the least amount of scratches wins!
3. Cook in my Kitchen-The man who make the tastiest gourmet meal using my existing pantry in my tiny kitchen wins a date!
4. Hair and Makeup Challenge-The man who can do my hair and makeup in the morning and who proves to be heterosexual wins!
5. BAFTA Awardschallenge-I will take all the men to the BAFTA East Coast Awards party and the man who complains the least wins a one on one with me!
6. Poetry Challenge-The first man to get a poem about me published in a respectable literary publication wins some alone time!
7. Karaoke Talent Show-I will take all my himbos to Sing Sing and the man who performs the best version of a Phil Collins song of his choice gets a private room with me.

Say No, No, No to Celebrity Rehab?

In 2007, Rehab was the new black. Lohan, Winehouse and even Spears either spent their 28 days, said "no" or broke out of rehab. To capitalize on the trend, VH1 is airing it's third week of the the new reality show "Celebrity Rehab" with Dr. Drew. Celebrity Rehab is full of either f-list or people I've never even heard of in my life which means they must not be celebs at all. But, I admit to being addicted to Celebrity rehab, and probably need an intervention from watching it. There is something disturbing about any situation where Brigitte Nielson and Daniel Baldwin seem like voices of reason and Chyna Doll seems normal. I'm salivating over nerdy Dr. Drew like he's Dr. House. And, why in the hell is Jeff Conaway further humiliating himself after his disatrous turn on Celebrity Fit Club? Why is he in a wheel chair? How much are these celebrities getting paid to be on this show? Who is exploiting who here? Is Celebrity Rehab actually a genius concept where reality television deconstructs the genre and our obsession with celebrity culture or is it the most exploitive and disgusting television program ever? Discuss.

Writer's Strike Late Night Break

It may be the writer's strike, but that doesn't mean you can't go back in time (thanks to YouTube) and watch some of the greatest moments in TV history.

Warning: If you are a homosexual male, you may spontaneously combust when you watch this clip.

Gossip Girl

Well, today is the official first day of the new fall TV season. I used to be very excited for this day, but now I'm not as hopped up as I used to be. Perhaps I'm just another casualty of the digital age. The show I did watch and was immediately hooked, however, was CW's Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl chronicles a bunch of privlaged New York City kids and an anonymous blogger who writes everyone's business on her "gossip girl" blog. I felt like was back in the prime of 90210, and I just saw the pilot. I was laughing out loud as a bunch of teenagers gulped martinis and referenced dancing on tables at Bungalow back "in the old days."

Puppy Bowl 111

For those of you lame testosterone-filled Super Bowl watchers, here is where the real action took place tonight. Animal Planet screened the 3rd annual Puppy Bowl which included a fantastic Kitty Bowl Half-Time Show. While this sound ridiculous, it was really no more ridiculous than a bunch of guys playing football in the pouring rain. Plus, I have to admit, despite being a big Prince fan, the kitties gave a much more exciting half-time performance.

Kiss Her Ass!

I don't normally like Tyra, but this one of the best things I've ever seen on TV and Tyra is far from fat.

Gay, Gay or Gay?

Tonight, during a very bad Monday night TV evening, I watched a new reality game show called

Gay, Straight or Taken.

where a woman had to decide out of three men which one was gay, which was was straight and which one was taken. Frankly, all three contestants were queens and I couldn't stand to even see the outcome. The woman put the men through challenges to determine their masulinity. One challenge was riding a mechanical bull which seemed a very backwards way of determining the "straight" man. Didn't she see Brokeback Mountain? I can't imagine any confident straight man or proud gay man who would humiliate himself going through this process. So, I think the game should be renamed to "In the Closet, Living a Lie or TV Whore."