Dear Tom

Dear Tom,
As the most connected person on myspace.com, I assume that you must have many answers to the questions that plague my soul. If you can provide some response, I'll put you back in my Top 8.

1. How do I determine fake celebrity profiles from authentic celebrity profiles?
2. Why does my cat attack my head every time I check my myspace account?
3. Is it rude to reject a friend request without a response?
4. What are the differences between a work friend, boyfriend, myspace friend and friendster friend?
5. Is youtube the new myspace?
6. Have you ever met Rupert?
7. When is myspace.com an addiction?
8. Is the New York City myspace population more attractive than the Los Angeles myspace population?
9. What do you do when you get in fights with your best friend about how to best manage your podcast myspace account?
10. Do myspace contacts count as friends?
11. Who invented the phrase, "Thanks for the add?"
12. Have you ever hooked up with anyone you met on myspace?

NYCBABYLON Duets

Tonight, I watched the best new show on TV, Celebrity Duets. On this program, D-listers sing with actual A/B-listers and are judged by Marie Osmond, Little Richard and some other guy. Tonight, Chris Jericho got the boot. Jai Rodriguez will most likely face off with Alfonse Ribiero in the finals. In the meantime, here is a version of me and my friends singing some karaoke duets.

Pop Culture Roundup

Ok, there is a lot going on in the world of pop culture and I haven't put in my comments. Here they are:

1. Tom Cruise if crazy and I am not surprised that he was fired from Paramount. He is on the road to Gibson.
2. Osama loves Whitney Houston. I don't know what to say about this but it disturbs me.
3. Kate Hudson is having an affair with Owen Wilson. I think Owen Wilson is hot and don't understand why Kate Hudson makes her son Ryder look like a girl.
4. The Emmys are on Sunday and I am hoping that House wins!
5. I am over Jon Benet Ramsey and am not wrapped up in this case. The guy is creepy but I don't need to watch this on the news channels.

Don't Marry a Career Woman?

Today, some moron in Forbes wrote an article advising men to not marry career woman. The writer states:

Guys: A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.

It's bad enough I'm 35 and live with a cat, but now I have Forbes trying to screw with my love life for having a good job. The truth is, I don't HAVE to be a career woman. If a guy is smart and interesting enough and willing to support me in the lifestyle I desire, I'll be THRILLED to stop working and he will never have to worry if I'm making more money or have a better title. Hell, I'll even cook dinner sometimes. Or, as an alternative, I'll continue being a career woman and support HIM and he can clean the house and cook me dinner. Or we can both work and make a lot of money and get a nice apartment and travel all over the world. It's a win-win situation to hook up with me!

Whoa!

Can you name this washed-up 80's child star? Try.

Free Spraychel!

I don't know if it is because my name is Rachel, but I HATE this I Can't Believe It's Not Butter "Free Spraychel" campaign. What is really upsetting is that this campaign is driving me crazy AND it's targeted to women 35+. I am officially in the Spraychel demographic!

Arthritis and Teen Choice

I woke up my first day being 35 with a bizarre ache in my left knee. I'm trying to feel young by watching this hilarious video of Kevin Federline performing at this week's Teen Choice Awards. I've also discovered Rumer Willis' myspace account which is fascinating. Oh, to be young and famous....

Happy Birthday to Me

Well, today is my birthday and I've officially entered into a new demographic. I spent my last few hours in the young adult days hanging out at Toys'R'Us, seeing History Boys and eating chicken wings.

Now, I'm off for some karaoke.

Beaver Shot

This week I learned if you really want to piss your sister off, take an innocuous shot of her reading a book poolside, post it on Flickr and then entitle it "Beaver Shot." She will have to call your mother to call you and threaten if you don't remove the photo IMMEDIATELY, your sister will retaliate by posting an unflattering photo of you. So, because you already have low self esteem and dont' want to see ugly photos of yourself, you will have to remove the beaver shot immediately and be kind of annoyed because you wonder why your sister had to enlist your mother and why they are censoring your flickr account. Also, for the record, the photo wasn't even a beaver shot.

Founder's Day

Three years ago, today marked the day that it was decided that MJ Cat would come and stay with me while his restaurant was closed for vacation. He didn't arrive until the 19th, which is my birthday but both of our lives were set in motion on this fateful day. I don't regret taking MJ Cat for a second. Look how cute he is!

The Mousecast

An infestation of city mice attack Rachel and Todd this week on BEWARE OF THE BABYLON




Also find out...

• What do Nuns, Klansmen, and Ancient Rabbis have in common?

• What's not to love about the afterlife?

• What does Todd like about Rachel?

• How should you break up with someone in public?

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.

Old Maid

Well, in less than one week, I'll be 35 and officially an old maid who lives alone in a studio apartment with her cat. Everyone is asking me what I want for my birtday, and I don't even know at this point. What I want can't be bought or wrapped in a package. I want to be famous.

Back

I was away and unexpectedly without any outside lines. So, I'm back and will be blogging this week. In any case, I bought this new dress for myself for my birthday next week. Let's see how long it takes Forever 21 to copy it.

Money Can't Buy Brains

This Britney/Federline video is pure art.

There's Got to Be a Morning After

For those of you who missed it, Elizabeth Hasselback freaked out on the View. Lisa Loeb tries to counter the debate. Lisa went to Brown. Elizabeth went to Boston College and believes in Creationism. Who do you think is smarter? The best part is at the very end, when boss Walters bitchslaps Elizabeth and Elizabeth gets pissy and tears up her note card.


Now, watch Elizabeth beg for her job after her boss gives her the smackdown.

The Do the Right Thingcast

listen here

On the hottest day of the summer,
You can do somethin'
You can do nothin'
Or you can Do the Right Thingcast!


Fight the powers that be and learn...

• What's more offensive than Mel Gibson after a night on the town?

• What happened to Rachel's other half - literally?

• Was the hand-picked Monkey Tea all just a lie?

• Why are the Jews so damn cool?

• Why are the Virgin security guards so concerned about patrons reading magazines?

As always, this, and EVERY, BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded to your computer and transferred to your iPod through iTunes.