Thursday, June 01, 2006


Over the past week, I feel as if my life is becoming the movie Safe. Like Carol, the character played by Julianne Moore, I am experiencing severe lonliness combined with very bad allergies. For those of you who haven't seen this brilliant horror film, the plot revolves around a California housewife who suddenly falls victim to an inexplicable, apparently incurable illness. She suffers from coughing fits, hives, nose bleeds and bad headaches. She almost drops dead at the allergist as he tests her. She breaks out after a bad perm. She can't breathe at the dry cleaner. Failing to find any medical explanation for her maladies, her doctor refers her to a psychiatrist, who suggests that her physical ailments are psychosomatic. At her wits' end, Carol withdraws to an expensive New Age retreat for sufferers of "20th century disease," where the community's guru champions a dubious regimen of diet, climate control, introspection, and self-love. I am starting to hate my own allergist, because she cannot seem to cure me and I'm sick of staying up all night sneezing! Should this be my next step? THE DAMNED SHOTS ARE NOT WORKING AND I AM NOT GETTING RID OF MY CAT!

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