Sunday, June 29, 2008

Pussy Pride Day

So, today my neighborhood is overflowing with half-naked drunk and drugged out homosexuals celebrating Gay Pride Day. When did Gay Pride Day become such a low-rent display of sexuality, garbage and drug use? I think Gay Pride Day has jumped the shark. I want to see a day celebrating single women in their 30's who live with their cats. We'll dress up in vintage Laura Ashley, count our Weight Watchers points and talk about the Sex and the City movie. Oh, and we'll parade our cats around in those cat strollers you can find in the Sky Mall catalogue. We'll celebrate our single status and that we're too crazy to procreate and that our true love is our rescue cat. We'll debate dry food versus wet food. We'll hold our cat dancers with pride. We won't use the lint roller on this day. Pussy Pride Day should become a national holiday!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Happy Birthday Todd!

Today is the birthday of my close friend and comedy partner Todd! Here all the all things I love about Todd.

1. He never gets mad at you even when you act like an asshat.
2. He's my partner in all that is BAFTA.
3. He loves your pussy as much as you do.
4. He appreciates a pearl necklace on a lady.
5. He's an original member of the velvet mafia, even though he doesn't know it.
6. He can make a cake out of salt instead of sugar.
7. He loves to eat out at dives with me.
8. He knows a good showtune when he hears one.
9. He will be your fake straight date upon command.
10. He is a loyal and true friend!

I love you, Todd!
Happy Birthday!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I'm FINALLY back

I'm back from what seems like decades of strategic planning and preparing for a company sales meeting in Hawaii. Hopefully, I'll have my life back for a couple of months so I can blog, go back on the points and spend some time with MJ and my friends! I have to say, Maui is really not any nicer than the beautiful island of Dominica so I don't really get what the fuss what about. Plus, I wanted to shoot myself on that second leg of the return flight. I still have jet lag. I'm sad to hear that one of my comedy mentors, George Carlin passed away this weekend. I'll have more to say tomorrow when I can think.

Friday, June 20, 2008


I have been for what seems like a year in Hawaii at a National Sales Meeting. I'm fully aligned and exhausted and can't wait to get back home so I can blog. Before I leave, however, tomorrow I'm snorking! When I get back, I will be jetlagged and slightly brainwashed.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Dearly Beloved....

We are gathered here to see to wish this sexy mf named Prince a Happy 50th Birthday!

Beware of the Sex and the City Product Placement Podcast

We subliminally plug the products of about fifty Fortune 500 company products in this eloquently presented episode of
recorded live on tape from a Fortune 500 company auditorium

Put on your best Anthony Robbins asshat grin for...

* Afterglow on the Sex and the City movie [Time-Warner]

* The mystery Doritos flavor revealed [Pepsico]

* Todd's first trip to Burger King in over 24 years [Burger King Holdings]

* We remind you to join our Facebook page [1 % Microsoft]

* This week's Guess Who I'm With Phone Challenge [Sprint Nextel]

As alway, this and every BEWARE OF THE BABYLON podcast can be automatically downloaded from iTunes here.

Listen to the show here if you have ants in your pants:

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Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Sex and the City=Amarula

I finally saw Sexo en La Ciudad or as we call here it NYC, Sex and the City. I have to confess, I actually read the book before the series even launched and was addicted to the show which forced me to subscribe to HBO. I also watch the watered-down reruns. So, as you can imagine, I had to go ASAP to see the film. A couple of weeks ago, I was hanging with my friend Deirdre and we got a little tipsy on this very sweet South African fruit liquor called Amarula. I knew it was too sweet and made of alcohol but I couldn't stop drinking it because it went down so smoothly and woke up the next day with a hangover. This is exactly what happened to me as a result of seeing the SATC film. It was sweet, and not really that good, but good enough that I couldn't stop watching and then I felt kind of empy and disappointed the next morning. I won't provide any spoilers except to say Miranda somehow aged the best and looks the most vibrant. SJP's Carrie demonstrates that being too thin can age you after forty. And, that Vivienne Westwood dress would make me want to get married too. I need to see it again this weekend.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

RIP Yves

A fashion God has left us. RIP, Yves.