Emmy Live Blog

Stars like Eva get their tan on for the Emmy's!

I'm getting my dinner ready so I can live blog with a full stomach. I don't really care about the Emmy's in the same way I do the Oscars, but I feel obligated to comment. So far, I'm wathching E! and trying to figure out why Guliana Too-Tan-Di got this job. Poor Joan Rivers is stuck Live Blogging like me.

8:00PM
The show just opened and one thing I hate is cartoon characters on Award Shows. This is so fucking stupid. I was checking out the fashions on the web. I'm behind in making my dinner because I was shopping and trying to find things that didn't make me look pregnant. Hayden Pantierre doesn't seem to care about this though.

Fat is the new black.

8:13
Piven won again. It's too bad the show is kind of boring now. What in the hell is Vanessa Willams wearing? I hope Hugh Laurie wins Best Actor. I love him. Who in the hell is this guy Terry O'Quinn who won best Supporting Actor and what show is he on?

The hottest man at the Emmy's.

8:23
Tina Fey looks the best she ever looked. She follows the Weight Watchers diet. I have to confess. I am kind of liking Ryan Seacrest. Perhaps this is a sign that I'm getting old. I also have to confess, I don't quite like Ugly Betty. What is up with Jaime Pressley? I think Catherine Heigel is the most beautiful woman there tonight.

Who's the boss of this bad hairdo on Judith Light?

8:59
I had to run out and pick up my camera which was stolen by a busboy on my birthday. I may not be a celeb, but I have the power to track down stolen goods through intimidation tactics. What did I miss?

No joke. Tina and Julia look fabulous.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn about Ellen Pompeo.
9:11
There is something crazy about Neil Patrick Harris making a joke filled with sexual inneundo towards Hayden. Isn't he gay now? I hope the Sopranos wins Best Drama series. It was so much better than crap like Lost and Heroes. This commercial for Macy's is fabulous. I love Trump blow drying his hair and Jessica Simpson trying to break into the store.

Is it me, or does Steven Colbert look like Bob Saget?

9:27
Jesus, how old is Tony Bennett's wife? Speaking of older men, Mark Harmon isn't aging well.

Is John Stewart now old enough to be considered a silver fox?
9:40
Jersey Boys? I thought we were supposed to have a surprise Britney Spears performance!
9:43
Todd and I are on the phone now discussing how everyone looks like they are 90 years old or at least 30 years older than they actually are. Todd is now saying how the entire cast of Roots look like they are on the verge of death. Perhaps all the young people don't watch TV anymore and watch YouTube. Todd and I are now officially old.
9:53

Ten years ago Lewis Black was performing with my sad ass at Gotham Comedy Club. Now he's getting free jeans and doing his routine on the Emmy's.

10:05
Tom from myspace just officially jumped the shark as a guest on the Emmy's. That reminds me that I need to check my facebook account. Thanks to the Internet, I don't watch as much TV anymore as I used to so perhaps the Academy might want to tone down the current.com thing. Brad Garrett is making some very Borscht Belt blue jokes about being in between Fisher's legs. And when did Patricia Heaton morph into Joely Fisher? And, Elaine Stritch actually is very old but still looks younger than John Stewart and Judith Light.


Patricia Heaton is reincarnated as Joely Fisher.
10:23
Now Fox is plugging Don't Forget the Lyrics, which is actually pretty entertaining although Singing Bee is slightly better. Todd's right. Rupert has fixed the entire Emmy's although this is pretty fantastic with Kanye West as the opponent singing his own songs.
10:39
Ricky Gervais just won. Oh good. Here's my dream man, Hugh Laurie. My mother just called me and told me how she hates when actresses show too much boob. It's a good thing I'm not a Hollywood actress because she would see how I love to show off my own boobs any chance I get. I'm glad Sally Field won. What just happened? They totally edited and blanked out Sally's speech! WTF? Censorship on the Emmy's? Now we we are in The Memoriam section which is making me sad.

Fox doesn't seem to really like Sally Field turning the sound off during her acceptance speech.
10:51
I am so ready for this Emmy's to be over. I don't watch Ugly Betty, but America Ferrera is pretty cute. Before I was obsessed with Hugh Laurie, I was in love with Jimmy Smitts. Thanks god he's on to wake me up the last few minutes of this show. By the way, I decided that I love Heidi Klum's Dior dress which reminds of an old Christian Dior dress I have the poster for on my wall. And doesn't it seem like the entire cast of Pretty in Pink is there except for Ringwald?

Christian Dior Me like Heide Klum!
11:02
Wow! 30 Rock winning is an upset. Just a year ago, I was so excited for the Sunset Strip and Krawkoski was wasting time in my dance class. Oh, and there's another old comedy buddy of mine Judah Friedlander on the stage. I should have stayed in comedy.
11:09
While I love House, I'm glad Sopranos won because it really was a fantastic show. And, support Joan Rivers and read her live blog here. Without her, we wouldn't have all this preshow television we've grown to expect and love.