Madame Award: Liftetime Achievement

Sex and the City 2 is just plain horrible and almost unwatchable. The only award the movie wins is that Sarah Jessica Parker is will now be given the honorary MADAME HALL OF FAME award. Throughout her costume changes, she exemplifies all the glamour of the greatest marionette of all time, MADAME. From her makeup to her headscarves, Sarah Jessica Parker's wooden self-centered acting throughout the entire movie will remind you of the beauty and fashion of Madame. Congrats, SJP.

Turn the Light On

I have a female friend who insists that men "settle down" when their "lights are on." Well, I think we are in the season where men inexplicably have turned their lights to "green." I had two male friends TODAY who in the past have self declared themselves as "eternal bachelors" admit they they are settling down for women they barely know. One is 50 years old and told me this morning that he is marrying a woman that he met through a friend on facebook three weeks ago and he is marrying her in a city hall ceremony NEXT WEEK. This blew my mind before 10AM. Then tonight, I had a male friend who is in his mid-40's s that he is allowing a woman to move in with him that he met two months ago on Nerve. Perhaps I'm skeptical and jaded and all I saw were red flags flashing as they confessed their new-found loves. Or perhaps, my friend's "lights on" theory is correct. Or perhaps it's seasonal. I'm not sure and only time will tell. I wonder when my light will turn "on." I'm fascinated by the functionality of the male mind.

Parenthood

In case you are wondering who in the hell watches Parenthood, well, it's my mother. I called her last week and she scolded me for interrupting her during the show. I didn't know this was one of her "shows" but now I do. When I got my period for the first time in the early 80's, I remember coming home from sax lessons and seeing a pool of blood soaked through my cordoroy boy's Levi's. Any middle schooler still wearing boy's jeans is going to be freaked out by the first flow. Anyway, I starting screaming and my mom told me to not bother her. "What's the matter? I'm watching Cagney and Lacey," she yelled across the hall. And, people wonder what is wrong with me.

Vacation Day

I want to go on a safari. I never had this desire before until today when I spent my vacation day in bed and at my storage room. I want to go on a luxury safari where someone carries my stuff, I wear a complete safari wardrobe and I get to see elephants and lions. I don't want to go by myself. Who wants to join me?

Hallelujah...Only 2 more weeks of Idol

Thanks to Adam Lambert I got sucked back into American Idol last season and have been watching again this season which has been terrible. I haven't even called to vote for anyone because I don't care who the hell wins. Crystal is the most talented but frankly, nobody has any charisma. I like my Idols to have some personality. Also, Lee DeWyze is even worse and more boring than Taylor Hicks. I have been hating him all season but tonight when he tortured Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, it was my last straw. I wanted to call to have him voted off immediately. Listening to his soulless version of this song was like watching Kate Gosselin dance. Jeff Buckley's cover is my favorite and I have to confess I liked Timberlake's cover to support Haiti.

When You Were Mine

I love Prince and I love this song. I also love youtube which is celebrating five years! My favorite story about Prince was when he changed his name to a symbol and I was discussing this in the car with my sister with my mom driving us to the Reading outlets. My mom couldn't wrap her brain around it and kept asking, "How do you spell that? A-S-Y-M-B-L-E" Then my sister finally yelled, "Mom, like the Equal sign." She still didn't quite understand. Enjoy.

Things I Don't Understand

As I get older, there is less I understand and I'm not afraid to share it. I find the 20something set is afraid to admit they don't know it all and I suppose when I was that age, I thought I knew it all too. Here are some of the issues and concepts I don't "get."
1. Brooklyn...why do people live there? Is it out of financial necessity or is it actually cool? Why would you leave your small town to live in a borough that relies on an unreliable subway system?
2. Babies...I don't get the appeal.
3. Who are these people on Dancing with the Stars? Am I supposed to recognize most of these people?
4. What makes someone choose a career in human resources?
5. What's the deal with Ashton Kuthcher? Is he funny? Is he good looking? What's his deal?
6. Who invents business catch phrases? I heard the terms "A-ha moment," "with that being said" and "impactful" spoken at least 500 times last week.

The Babylon is Back

I was at a baby shower yesterday face to face with the changes my friends have all experienced over the past five years. They are married, having babies, buying property and moving out of the state. I realized that not much has changed in my life except I'm not blogging anymore. Well, that is something that shouldn't go away. I'm back. I'm not married. I thankfully have a good job and MJ Cat is doing well after a perilous encounter with some bladder stones. There is not damned reason I am not blogging except my addiction to Farm Town which has eaten away from my blogging time. I hope you visit me again because while things may not have changed, my life is different and I'm ready to share.

Bomb Scare in Times Square

I was on 45th Street tonight on my way to see Red as the bomb scare started. It was very disorganized and I was a few feet away. The scary thing is that there was very little information, disorganization and actual news. I asked the fireman in front of the theater what I should do. He stated, "You can go in at your own risk but I'd get the hell out of here." This is especially scary considering it has turned out to have been an actual bomb that could have killed many people. I'm home safely now but a bit shaken now that I'm watching the news.