Who I am through Googlism

Just when I was losing touch with myself I turned to Google. Who needs yoga or meditation when you can simply go to this site to really determine the outside world's perception of who you really are? Plus, I have been dwelling on the fact that the current guy I am having relations with failed to invite me to a benefit that he is hosting this evening and somehow I found comfort in the fact that Google doesn't even know who he is or is not. I at least can rest assured that I am nice.

Tossing Salads and Rainbow Parties

Yesterday Oprah ran a rerun which was actually a promotion for the movie Thirteen and called "Is Your Child Leading a Double Life?" As part of the show, Oprah had teens and their moms discussing their teenager's sex life. The highlight of the show was a writer for Oprah magazine discussing teen sex terminology. My mother must have missed the original episode because she called me to discuss this segment and thanks to Oprah, I had a frank discussion with my mother about rainbow parties, tossing salads and booty calls. I must be old-fashioned, because I really wasn't comfortable defending the joys of a well-timed booty call to my mother who found absolutely no merit in such an exchange. I assured here that I did not accept booty calls as a teenager. I also felt old because I never heard of a rainbow party and assumed it was for someone who was "coming out" rather than a bunch of girls putting on lipstick and marking a guy's penis in a different spot. As for tossing salads, I had no comment on that one. Sometimes it's best to keep things private.

This Afternoon In Drama: The Mating Habits Of The Nerd

This is hilarious. I am voting for Yoanna. And how gay was Shandi's boyfriend? For the record, Tyra will never be the next Oprah. This Afternoon In Drama: The Mating Habits Of The Nerd

Tori Spelling's Registry

For those of you who have been enduring my countless emails regarding the wedding registry of Tori Spelling and the baby registry of Debra Messing, check out this hilarious piece in New Yorkish.

Meanwhile, please check out my own registry for my own imaginary wedding to George Charelton on http://ww1.williams-sonoma.com/reg/registrylist.cfm.

American Idol and America's Next Top Model Roundup

American Idol has finally kicked off it's real competition. This week I am voting for John Peter Lewis. Although Jasmine was the best, JPL reminds me of Beck. John Stevens, the ugly redhead, is my least favorite this week. I am crossing my fingers that he gets voted off the show tomorrow night. He sucks.

Meanwhile, America's Next Top Model is winding down and I was pleased that April who I am convinced is actually the same person as Tammy from The Apprentice was voted off.